DMum constantly asking me if I know people I obviously do know...

[Lockheart]

[Light-hearted]

I will caveat this by saying that I do love my mother dearly but she drives me round the absolute bend with this. Any time we talk:

Her: "I was chatting to Anne, you know Anne from next door?"

Me (thinking): Yes, I know Anne, I only lived next door to her for 15 years too and she only babysat us many many times.

Mum: "Do you remember Betty, from Closest town?"

Me (thinking): Yes, I know Betty, she's only been your best friend and like a second mother to me for as long as I can remember and I saw her daughter last Tuesday as you well know.

Meeting someone on the street with her: "Oh Lockheart you know Sue from down the road." Yes of course I bloody know her, she's only lived there 20 years and we saw her last fecking week. She came over for coffee! We were both there!!.

Mum: "Did you know Cathy has a new car? You know, Cathy your cousin?" YES I KNOW WHO MY FUCKING COUSIN IS FOR CHRISTS SAKE

The above examples have unique names in our social circles. We don't know a million people all called Linda, for example, where differentiation might be justified That I could understand.

Just why?? I'm honestly awaiting the phone call which goes "Hello love, it's your mother, you know, the one who birthed and raised you".

My only theory is that either she has the memory of a goldfish or she thinks that I do

Please tell me other people's mother's do this and it's not a torture she's dreamed up just got me?

My mum does the opposite where she thinks I know people that I've never met. She will be like ''oh you know Keith? he's going to Spain on Tuesday''. Turns out Keith is the bloke who sells her ticket at the train station or something

Oh my mum does this with my kids.

Mum: Katie ( not real name) is going to see a band next Saturday, yes she is going with her best friend Lucy.
Me: Yes mum I know.
Mum: You know!!!!
Me: Yes mum Katie told me.
Mum: Katie told you!!!! Did she!!!! Did she tell you she is going with Lucy? Did you know Lucy is going too?
Me: Yes mum I know all about it.
Mum: Oh.
Then a look and silence.

Also Mum: Where is Katie today?
Me: She will be at work mum.
Mum:At work? Is she working from home?
Me:I don't know mum, sometimes she works from home sometimes she goes into the office.
Mum:Hmm, but you don't know where she is today, do you?
Me:No mum I dont. Katie is an adult. She doesn't live with me she has her own home.
Mum: No need to patronize me.

Mum: How is Katie getting to X town to see the band?
Me: I don't know I expect either she or Lucy will be driving.
Mum: driving?
Me: yes mum, driving.
Mum: oh, your not taking them then?
Me rolls eyes. Well I think I'll be leaving now........

My exh does this.

We have to talk to each other quite often and he'll often start talking about one of his friends, someone who I would see on a regular basis when we were married (married for 20 years) and then he'll start explaining to me who he's talking about.

And the really annoying one: if they have some sort of title, doctor or such like, he'll refer to them as Dr Brown, as if I'm not worthy of using the person's first name.

He also has another thing he does: 'Guess who sent you regards?' he'll say.

Well, given that everyone of his large circle of friends blanked me from the minute we separated 24 years ago, even though I wasn't the one at fault, I'm probably not going to be much good at guessing who that one person is that wants me to be aware that they remember who I am, nor do I care.

Another thing you can't do with mine is ask how she slept. If you ask me how I slept, my answer will be something like "fine, thanks" or "not brilliant, but nevermind".

If you ask my mum, you get an epic in three parts with renowned chapters such as 'What Hours She Heard The Church Bells Toll' and 'The Art Of The 4.25am Or Was It 4.30am No It Was 4.25 Because I Remember Looking At The Oven Clock Cup Of Tea'.

[quote SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]@Lockheart - is she possibly making sure you know which Anne/Betty/Sue/Cathy she’s referring to? Ie. Cathy your cousin, not Cathy her friend from the book club or Cathy who used to be her boss?

Though even if that is what she’s doing, I can understand why it’s so frustrating, when it happens every time![/quote]
I have 14 Davids in my contact list so a bit of clarification is often needed!

@Newpuppymummy

My mum does the opposite. Do you know Peter from church? (No mum I’ve never been to that church). Well his cousin Stan had an operation on his knee… Great thanks for letting me know Mum Bless her

This is my mum. I think she struggles to find things to talk about so I let her get on with it, tbh.

This, AND she lumps all of us children together. Eg

You’ll never guess who I saw in town

No, no I probably won’t

She worked in Safeways, but before it was Safeway's. What was it

Minutes tick by. I mention it was called Prestos but she doesn’t hear me. Then

She had a son in your class

I’m still not sure mum

He came to your party. Went to Cubs with you…

Ok that narrows it down, but only as far as she must be thinking of one of my brothers.

Just to end it I say ‘oh yeah. I know’

It’s easier.

@Lockheart

I haven't had the "guess who's dead" game yet, she's not quite of that age.

I do sometimes get very detailed information about people I don't know and really don't care about. When I've had a long day at work and want to go to bed I really can't be doing with long stories about Jenny From The Office And Her Heart Medication.

Is Guess Who's Dead age related? My daughters play it all the time and they're certainly not old!

@Averydifferentwoman

I think we all have the same mother!

I think you are all talking about my MIL

I think you are all talking about me...

I think we all have the same mother!

It’ll be us one day

[quote SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]@Lockheart - is she possibly making sure you know which Anne/Betty/Sue/Cathy she’s referring to? Ie. Cathy your cousin, not Cathy her friend from the book club or Cathy who used to be her boss?

Though even if that is what she’s doing, I can understand why it’s so frustrating, when it happens every time![/quote]
No, as I said in my OP, these are unique names within our circles. We only know one Cathy and she's my cousin (real names not used to protect the innocent ). If it does happen that she could be talking about one of a few people who have the same name, I'll ask if it's not obvious from context.

I remember Carrie Fisher talking about her mum ringing her.
“Hello, dear, this is your mother, Debbie” ❤️

We have in-laws with the same name, stories are told with no clarification about which inlaw we're talking about. You’re just expected to know, instinctively.

Mine goes into great depth about a film/programme she has watched, for example, she will describe a scene in great depth, and it takes forever and I have the urge to scream !!

We don’t watch much tv but we get asked if we watched this or that program.

@JudgeJ

Is Guess Who's Dead age related?

I don't necessarily think so - but then I come from a very large Scottish/N Irish family with a possibly slightly unhealthy interest in mortality (I myself am 42 and enjoy a good stroll around a nice graveyard).

I was never very sure if this experience was universal or if it was just my family, so I am feeling a wee bit validated here.

My DM didn’t do this (not very sociable) but her own DM would go rambling on for ages about someone we didn’t know/had never met, almost invariably ending with, ‘Anyhow, she died.’ 😂

On a slightly removed but similar note - does anybody else (particularly those of you who grew up in a large, disparate family) have a relation that acts as the Familial Collective Memory?

It used to be my uncle, but I notice of late that the role has been unofficially handed over to my cousin, who is the same generation as me (early 40s).

It makes me feel quite old.

”No, as I said in my OP, these are unique names within our circles. We only know one Cathy and she's my cousin (real names not used to protect the innocent grin). If it does happen that she could be talking about one of a few people who have the same name, I'll ask if it's not obvious from context.”

I’m so sorry - I missed that bit, @Lockheart - I am such a muppet!

Anyone got parents / parents-in-law who remind you how to get to their house even though you either lived there / live locally / have been there before 500 times?

Or - and this is a massive bugbear of mine with the ILs - tell you that your own memories about your own experiences are wrong?! ‘Oh yes, your old car, the Ford, the one with the dodgy exhaust…’

No, I’ve never owned a Ford.

‘Yes, you did, the one you got after the Vauxhall’

No. I’ve NEVER had a Ford ….

@AuntMargo

Mine goes into great depth about a film/programme she has watched, for example, she will describe a scene in great depth, and it takes forever and I have the urge to scream !!

I love doing this but only do it with a similarly minded friend.

Re Carrie Fisher, my sister often remarks how hellish that relationship must have been.

DHs aunt used to tell us about people we didnt know and call us re random people that had died who never heard of but she forgot to tell us for a week that her daughter in laws mom died who we knew well . Before social media

The worst offender I know is the mum/MiL of my friends. I do not know her wider family. I have never lived in her town (and barely even in the same county) but she launches into tedious tales about connections that I'll clearly never heard of as though they're my family or neighbours. TBH her child and spouse often don't have much idea either.

At least when I age and get into this mode and no one knows whether I'm blathering about Big Jake, Tall, Jake, Small Jake or Scottish Jake, the stories of our misadventures in the great outdoors, stuck on mountains etc were mildly interesting to begin with.

Mine is “I went for tea with Ann and Ann’s friend Di” Ann, Di and mum have been meeting up weekly for over a year now (no lockdown) and poor Di is still “Ann’s friend Di” I regularly ask how long until Di becomes her friend too. Another friend of mine has a couple of friends called Jo. When talking about either of them, it’s “my friend Jo”. Don’t know which Jo but I know she’s your friend! I felt like introducing myself to her an you must be Helen’s friend Jo. Argh!!