DMum constantly asking me if I know people I obviously do know...

[Lockheart]

[Light-hearted]

I will caveat this by saying that I do love my mother dearly but she drives me round the absolute bend with this. Any time we talk:

Her: "I was chatting to Anne, you know Anne from next door?"

Me (thinking): Yes, I know Anne, I only lived next door to her for 15 years too and she only babysat us many many times.

Mum: "Do you remember Betty, from Closest town?"

Me (thinking): Yes, I know Betty, she's only been your best friend and like a second mother to me for as long as I can remember and I saw her daughter last Tuesday as you well know.

Meeting someone on the street with her: "Oh Lockheart you know Sue from down the road." Yes of course I bloody know her, she's only lived there 20 years and we saw her last fecking week. She came over for coffee! We were both there!!.

Mum: "Did you know Cathy has a new car? You know, Cathy your cousin?" YES I KNOW WHO MY FUCKING COUSIN IS FOR CHRISTS SAKE

The above examples have unique names in our social circles. We don't know a million people all called Linda, for example, where differentiation might be justified That I could understand.

Just why?? I'm honestly awaiting the phone call which goes "Hello love, it's your mother, you know, the one who birthed and raised you".

My only theory is that either she has the memory of a goldfish or she thinks that I do

Please tell me other people's mother's do this and it's not a torture she's dreamed up just got me?

@LittleMissnotLittleMrs

Mine is “I went for tea with Ann and Ann’s friend Di” Ann, Di and mum have been meeting up weekly for over a year now (no lockdown) and poor Di is still “Ann’s friend Di” I regularly ask how long until Di becomes her friend too. Another friend of mine has a couple of friends called Jo. When talking about either of them, it’s “my friend Jo”. Don’t know which Jo but I know she’s your friend! I felt like introducing myself to her an you must be Helen’s friend Jo. Argh!!

Poor Di.

TBF, I know a 40 year old who always talks about 'My Best Friend Anna', so it's not an age thing, but my goodness it grates. I'm not sure if she's concerned I might think myself her best friend, or would like my own friendship with My Best Friend Anna, but I'm entirely confident I have no interest in either.

My mum is the opposite

You know Paul who I used to work with blah blah blah I tune out you might have mentioned him once but I never met him or anything

Or you know the plumber who fixed the sink 6 years ago Dave.????

Or does anyones Mum or Dad do that thing of gossip about something on Facebook say a relation and it's like yes I also happen to know that as i am also friends with said person. Or like rave about a video which first came out 5 years ago

Anyone got parents / parents-in-law who remind you how to get to their house even though you either lived there / live locally / have been there before 500 times

Yes! I took them to visit my sister who lives a town over from them. When we were driving back, my dad was giving me directions.
1 I’m coming back exactly the way I came 2 hours ago

1. I lived in your house for 25 years, I know where it is.

Now that restrictions are over, they’ll be back on the funeral circuit so we’ll be back to the ‘do you know who does’ convos.

@Summerhouse1998

Some of these stories have made me smile. My mum will say "Have I told you about so and so and what has happened to them" I'll reply and say "Yes, you told me about that (incredibly long story) yesterday" She will then go on to repeat the whole story all over again, even though I'd just told her I'd heard it the day before!

I get this all the time! Even if I chip in when I realise she's going to repeat the whole story and say 'Yes, you told me his car failed the MOT as result, didn't it?' 'Yes, that's right, it all started about three weeks ago when...'

More annoyingly, I also get the reverse when I say 'I can't remember, did I tell you about the small event that happened last week? Or was it Dad I was talking to?' I get a very snappy 'You DID tell me about that, I think your memory must be going, you don't need to talk me through it again.' OR I tell her something and then it comes up in conversation a few weeks later and I say 'I'm sure I've told you about this MASSIVE NEWS.' 'No you haven't. You never said anything to me about it.'

@JayniSummers

My dear father will get VERY ANNOYED when I can't recall folk. Last time it was the barmaid of his local ( not mine) of a pub he went to over 30 years ago ...and when I don't recall her he will say things like " she was married to that builder had a limp ?.... had to have her cat put down when it was poisoned ?daughter was a lesbian ? YOU DO KNOW HER .... found it easier to just say yes now when he asked as usually the punchline and the only reason he's brought her up is " she's dead now"

My dad does this too. He takes it to the next level as he also can’t remember the persons name who he’s talking about. So it goes:

“you know, what’s-his-name, the one with the limp, loved 3 doors down”

“No I wasn’t born when you lived in that house”

“Oh. He had a Morris minor. Worked in the Coop. Gawd what was his name?”

I also get gossip from where he works. Juicy gossip about who’s leaving but the boss doesn’t know yet, who’s daughter has had a baby but the father has done a runner” - all people I’ve never met. Then he says “don’t tell anyone though as it’s hush hush!”

Maybe he wants me to carry on the line of boring people silly with great detail about strangers they’ve never met and have no interest in

Another thing my Dad used to do, back in the days when we still watched terrestrial TV, was he'd (helpfully) call to let me know that a programme about history or archaeology (our shared playing field) was being shown - and then, when I'd said: "I know, I'm watching it already"...

... he'd describe in excruciating depth and detail what was happening onscreen. To the point where I couldn't hear/focus on what was happening on screen because he was live narrating it. And no matter how many times I said "I know; I'm watching it!", he wouldn't stop.

Now he'll tell me there's a programme starting and I'll have to remind him that we haven't watched "normal" TV in maybe 3 or 4 years. I'm dreading when he realises we also have Netflix, to be honest, because he'll repeat his (actually very sweet to think "oh, 13 might be interested in this!") narration on that platform, too.

My 26-year-old does this with book and film plots, too. She's very like my Dad, so I wonder if there's a genetic trait for this behaviour that maybe skips a generation, but I have become that mother who has to start singing loudly whenever she starts talking about the Star Wars universe because she will/does spoil series' for me (The Book of Boba Fett being the latest one )

@TroysMammy

My Mother rings me and the first thing she says is "hello it's me, Mam". Considering her name comes up on my phone and I know her voice that isn't enough.

My Mum rings me on the landline and says "Domingo? Oh! You're at home!" It's the landline Mum, of course I'm at home - and why are you ringing me if you didn't expect me to be here?"

Then I get "I was talking to Pat yesterday. You know Pat, lives at Number 16, what used to be the Patterson's before the Clarkes moved in? Anyway, I saw her on Tuesday ... oh hang on, it must have been Wednesday because I had to go with your father to the optician." Shouts to my Dad "Derek! What day did we go to the optician? Was it Tuesday or Wednesday?" I can hear Dad's muffled voice going "Eh? The Magician?" She shouts back "No THE OPTICIAN!!! Was it Tuesday or Wednesday? I'm telling Domingo about Pat." Dad's muffled voice "What about Pat's optician?" About 40 minutes later I find out that she saw Pat, had a cup of tea and her hip is still playing up. I still don't know who Pat is.

Oh @DomingoinLittleOakley - I feel your pain My Nan used to phone me on the landline and say ‘I thought you’d be out!’ I used to reply ‘So what the bloody hell did you phone me for then?!’

My parents also have the ‘What day did this happen?’ debate every time they tell me a story. ‘It was Tuesday, I’m sure of it’. ‘No Carol, it was Wednesday’. ‘No! It can’t have Wednesday; it was Tuesday’. ‘It was Wednesday, trust me - we went to Lucy’s on Monday, remember? And then we went to the Taj Mahal on Tuesday’. ‘Are you sure we didn’t go to the Taj Mahal on Wednesday?!’ ‘No, they only do the special deal on Tuesday; that was the whole point of going!’ ‘Oh, that’s true - maybe it WAS Wednesday…’

For the love of God, whether it was Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Good Friday in 2012, just tell me what fucking happened!!

my mum does the same :-)

@RedCandyApple

Then it will be “she use to have a little dog” “she use to work in Sainsbury’s” it goes on and on, better to just say yes straight away!

My MIL does it with places.