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Original poster

Is 24 too young to settle down with a baby

338 replies

Stressedout65 · 12/02/2022 21:32

I know it depends on each individual, how they feel & what they want from life, but would you say 24 is a bit young these days

OP posts:
KatyRebecca84 · 13/02/2022 13:40

For me I would have been too young but having a baby at 32 was maybe too old given I am now constantly shattered!!

jupitermars1345 · 13/02/2022 13:41

I'm glad I've had mine in my 20's

I'm 28
Have a 6 year old and a 8 month old

ParkheadParadise · 13/02/2022 13:46

No
Several of my nieces and nephews have kids and are in their early 20's.

At 24 I had a 9-year-old DD 😀

LittleGwyneth · 13/02/2022 13:48

It depends what you want out of your life. If being a parent is a priority then not too young at all. For me I needed a bit longer, I wanted more time to party, establish myself in my career and make some money. But honestly I really don't think there's a 'right' time.

SirChenjins · 13/02/2022 13:58

@Averydifferentwoman

So to be clear, no one under the age of 30 should work full time, have a child, have a pet or commit to anything because, hey, there’s a world out there.

Which is of course absolute childish nonsense.

It’s a funny thing, but you can actually work full time and travel - or even work abroad and combine that with travelling. You can also buy a property and rent it out while you go travelling. Pets and children can obviously go with you, but it’s harder and means you don’t have the same freedom.
Notimeforaname · 13/02/2022 14:00

Nope, not too young. Best time to do it in my opinion.

Averydifferentwoman · 13/02/2022 14:00

you can actually work full time and travel

No, you can’t. You can work full time, and go on holiday.

Notimeforaname · 13/02/2022 14:03

No, you can’t. You can work full time, and go on holiday.

Oh you absolutely can if you work remotely. I know of a family who are travelling..one parent works full time. The other part time.

balalake · 13/02/2022 14:07

A bit younger than average is not the same as a bit young. I'd be more inclined to say that too many men at 24 are too immature to be a dad.

Averydifferentwoman · 13/02/2022 14:09

Possibly but still a rather idealised MC view. Perhaps some people can, but most of us lesser mortals do have to work and can’t jet off to Singapore on a whim!

Yebs · 13/02/2022 14:09

When I was 22 I desperately, desperately wanted a baby. I agonised over it and rushed into trying in a relationship that wasn't ready for it yet, and I didn't just try I obsessed over it and 9 months later I got a positive pregnancy test and to be honest it was all a difficult time. With hindsight, I needed therapy, not a baby. I love my son so much but I really struggled, with pregnancy, with adjusting, with my whole life being unrecognisable. I was the first of my friends to have kids, I suddenly felt like I didn't fit in with them anymore, I struggled watching them hang out without me. I felt sad that I hadn't done more. I didn't have a good job, I was in a fair amount of debt for my age. I had a bout of severe pnd and I think I thought when that was treated I'd love parenting but even once that fog lifted I had all of the struggles I mentioned above.

I think if I had waited until I was atleast old enough to be rational about the decision and in better circumstances I'd of been in for a much easier ride. I had always wanted two close in age but didn't feel ready at all as he got older to try again. I've ended up with a bigger gap then I planned, I'm pregnant again now with my second and to be honest I still worry that I'm not ready but I think already having one did put the pressure on me to have more whilst still young.

So I don't know is the honest answer, I have made mum friends over the last few years, all of them are older than me, they all seemed to have a very different ride than I did! I won't say mine all came down to age but it did come down to immaturity, depression, being irresponsible etc, though definitely linked to me being young and naive. I do think if I'd waited I'd of enjoyed it all more. I guess is what I'm saying!

dummyd · 13/02/2022 14:10

@Averydifferentwoman

you can actually work full time and travel

No, you can’t. You can work full time, and go on holiday.

Ok so there's a difference between travelling and holidays. Travelling is unappealing to a lot of people even without kids. Not everyone who wants to can even afford it.

Children can stay with family for the week while parents go on holiday. Good enough for me, don't fancy pottering around with a backpack.

Xsliceoftoast · 13/02/2022 14:10

It really does depend on the person - I was 25 when I got pregnant - by that time I had my own house, married, earning over the national average, travelled (America, Europe and Asia) and I feel like it was okay. I still want to travel with my dc though.

EmpressCixi · 13/02/2022 14:12

It’s young but not too young.
Many of us left home at 16/17 so have already had lots of fun and travel by 24.
You can also have fun and travel with babies/children. It’s not a question of have fun and travel OR have a baby, can do both.

dottydodah · 13/02/2022 14:27

Apparently the optimum time physically for a baby! Sadly not for young women wishing to have a Career or go travelling .I know someone who was pregnant at this age and all has gone well so far .However planning a pregnancy is a slightly different thing IMO

MsAgnesDiPesto · 13/02/2022 14:27

I’d be interested to know how many of you who had children at 24 are still happily in relationships with their fathers? All the men I chose to be with at that age would have been awful fathers at that point in our lives, and I can’t imagine still being with any of them now, 25 years later.

EmpressCixi · 13/02/2022 14:30

@MsAgnesDiPesto

I’d be interested to know how many of you who had children at 24 are still happily in relationships with their fathers? All the men I chose to be with at that age would have been awful fathers at that point in our lives, and I can’t imagine still being with any of them now, 25 years later.
I am at 27yrs happily married to father of all my children. Perhaps some of us were luckier than you, and found a good man sooner in life?
MsAgnesDiPesto · 13/02/2022 14:36

I am at 27yrs happily married to father of all my children. Perhaps some of us were luckier than you, and found a good man sooner in life?

Wow, no need to be rude - I was asking a genuine question. All my men were ‘good’ - just not right in the long term, or as young fathers at 24ish. I enjoyed all my relationships in my earlier twenties, though. I’m just interested I how much people change after that age, and whether as you grow it’s more common to grow apart or together. Maybe being tied together by children makes you more inclined to stay even if the relationship changes.

My DH and I have been together for over 20 years and been through a painful journey of infertility, caused by something which means I would never have been able to have children, but we didn’t know that till later. He would have been the right man to have children with at the right stage in both our lives, though.

Maneandfeathers · 13/02/2022 14:41

@MsAgnesDiPesto I am. I was never particularly into young bad boys though. DH has always been a sensible family man from a very young age, still is Grin

SirChenjins · 13/02/2022 14:43

No, you can’t. You can work full time, and go on holiday

No, you can take sabbaticals, career breaks, work remotely, take short term contracts and travel in between…

And my other points?

SirChenjins · 13/02/2022 14:47

[quote Maneandfeathers]@MsAgnesDiPesto I am. I was never particularly into young bad boys though. DH has always been a sensible family man from a very young age, still is Grin[/quote]
I don’t think it’s a choice of either ‘Young bad boys’ or ‘sensible family man from a young age’ - there’s a whole middle ground. I’m still in tough with some boyfriends from my early twenties, all lovely family men, but I wouldn’t have wanted to marry them - none of us were ready to settle and have children by 24. We’d not long graduated, we were travelling, getting established with our careers, going out with friends and so on.

It’s horses for courses though.

BottlingBurpsForGrandma · 13/02/2022 14:48

I had my first baby at 23 and my last baby at 30. I am thrilled that I could space my children how WE wanted, not rushed into a smaller age gap by time running out. When I am 50 my children will all be finished at uni (assuming 3 year undergraduate course).

Ponoka7 · 13/02/2022 14:49

It was right for me. I was incredibly broody and had met my husband. I didn't want anything else. It's great having grown up children in my 50's and I'm enjoying my GC, because it was right for my middle DD as well. My other two children don't want children.
As said there's a lot of privilege on this thread. The majority of people won't own houses, or have enough money for travelling in their early 20's. If you meet someone you can make a life with, why would you reject that?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/02/2022 14:51

24 is plenty time to have tasted travel and freedom and adventure if you feel like you've satisfied that urge by 24.

iwishu · 13/02/2022 14:51

If that's what you want then do it!
You know what's more important to you than anyone else saying what you should do.