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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is 24 too young to settle down with a baby

338 replies

Stressedout65 · 12/02/2022 21:32

I know it depends on each individual, how they feel & what they want from life, but would you say 24 is a bit young these days

OP posts:

RagzRebooted · 12/02/2022 21:54

I'd had 3 by then. But it wasn't planned and financially totally screwed us because we obviously hadn't bought a house and I had no career. Now I have a career but trying to get to house buying stage with 3 kids is hard.
I would not choose to do it that way again, however there are benefits and I have my 40s to look forward to enjoying being child free with more money than I had in my twenties. But if you're financially stable (and won't be relying on a man to provide everything, because that often goes wrong) then 24 is fine.

stairgates · 12/02/2022 21:54

No not too young, you will appreciate your holidays and self interests so much more in your 40s so get the baby business all ticked off younger!

Tellthemagain · 12/02/2022 21:55

at least a decade too young for me. I changed so much, did so much, secured so much more mentally/work wise/house wise / relationship wise.

Trolleedollee · 12/02/2022 21:55

Much too young. I’d be really disappointed if any of my children were parents at 24.

SmellyWellyWoo · 12/02/2022 21:58

No not at all, especially physically- it's peak age for child bearing. I had mine at 25 and 35 and it was so much easier in every way at 25.

SnailAndAWhale · 12/02/2022 21:58

I got married at 23, and pregnant with our first at 24. She’s 3 now and I’m 28, had our second 6 months ago. For DH & I it was right - but we were very young when we got together and had already done a lot of the things I’d want to do with a partner pre baby, holidays etc. By the time DD1 arrived we’d been together nearly 10 years, so I didn’t think about our age too much.

Katjolo · 12/02/2022 21:59

Yes.

Ozanj · 12/02/2022 21:59

It depends on the person. Someone who went to uni probably only has had 3 years (at most) to be a proper self sufficient person by 24, for example, while someone who went to work at 16 would have done that for 8 years by that point and could be far readier to settle down and have kids.

Averydifferentwoman · 12/02/2022 22:00

Different people want different things.

Travel isn’t everything. In any event, I’d rather be a mum than travel, every single time.

Go for it. But also bear in mind … you’ve got many fertile years ahead of you.

Metallicalover · 12/02/2022 22:03

Is this you op or somebody else?
I had graduated from uni at 21 and got a job as a nurse. Got a mortgage at 24 and married at 25. I don't think it's too young at all! I've been with my hubby since I was 12!
The only reason we became parents at 30 was due to infertility!

Flowerpower23 · 12/02/2022 22:03

I did it alone at 25, I have a good job and love being a mum :) think it depends on the person! I’m still the only one of my schoolfriend group to have kids and we are all 30 now!

BuddhaForMary · 12/02/2022 22:05

I don't think it's too young, but then I already had 2 children by the time I was 24! Best thing ever for me. But entirely depends on the person I think.

Averydifferentwoman · 12/02/2022 22:06

It also does depend what your friends are doing.

In some circles 24 is getting on a bit. In others your friends will be starting their families when your child is secondary school age.

TracyMosby · 12/02/2022 22:08

It is not always too young to get married.
It is FAR too young to settle down.

By all means get married but make sure you continue yo grow and experience life before settling into routine.

giveyou2reasons · 12/02/2022 22:09

I didn't do it, but no, I don't think it's too young for a mature person. There can be challenges and things you might miss out on, but on the other hand, you're more likely to live to see any grandchildren, be healthy enough to be hands-on with grandchildren, and be empty-nesters at a relatively young age.

Unless someone is planning on travelling a very great deal or having late nights out as often as possible, it doesn't seem that there's much you absolutely can't do even after you have children. Of course it changes everything once you have children, but for many, raising a family is more important than anything else and not worth delaying. I wouldn't discourage a settled, mature 24-y-o from having children.

TwoCoffeesPlease · 12/02/2022 22:09

Too young for me! 24 seems so young to me now and it wasn’t even that long ago. I do think it depends on where you are in your life. Are you on the property ladder yet? If not I would focus on that before having kids as you have time

2pinkginsplease · 12/02/2022 22:10

I was married at 23 and had our first at 25. I would prefer my children to go travelling, live their lives a bit more and not settle down too young however it’s worked out for us as still together 26 years later.

itsgettingweird · 12/02/2022 22:11

I travelled at 18 and had my baby at 24.

So for me wasn't too young

Shmithecat2 · 12/02/2022 22:11

I would say yes, imo, it is too young. I didn't have ds til I was 40, and I'm glad - I had a ball in my 20s and 30s and I'm glad I didn't sacrifice them.

Chichimcgee · 12/02/2022 22:12

Married and pregnant at 21.
If I could have my child I have now but have him at 31 instead I would do.

SomeOwlsCoo · 12/02/2022 22:13

I had a 4 year old and a 2 year old by 24. So it wasn't for me.

Curiousmouse · 12/02/2022 22:14

I don't think so.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 12/02/2022 22:15

@Averydifferentwoman

Different people want different things.

Travel isn’t everything. In any event, I’d rather be a mum than travel, every single time.

Go for it. But also bear in mind … you’ve got many fertile years ahead of you.

Sensible post. I was a bit

at all the 'go travel!' posts, even without children lots of people can't just up sticks and jet around the world anyway- for all kinds of reasons. And not everyone wants to either.

Different thinks suit different people. I think mid twenties is a good age. I was 24 and 26 when mine were born. I don't feel like I missed out on anything, I had time to do things I wanted before they were born and loved having them, took it in my stride and adjusted well to a different lifestyle. It's a good age to have them physically as well- I didn't find it particularly tiring when they were newborns etc. I never felt that they stopped me from doing anything, only that they enhanced my life completely. They're 9 and 7 now, they're amazing.

I like the fact that there's not a massive generational gap between me and my children. And that when they're grown up, I'll still only be in my early-mid 40s.

87emzz · 12/02/2022 22:15

Depends on the individual.
I had my 1st at 24 ... was hard work but I loved being a young mum.
I'm 30 now with a 6 & a 4 year old and I am done 😃 all of my friends are just starting to have babies now and are going through the sleepless nights .. I'm just so happy I can now sleep during the night and not have to worry about that 😂

SmellyNelliey · 12/02/2022 22:15

I had 4 children by the time I was 23! But I always wanted to be a mother, been with my partner since our teens ect but I wish I had waited till I was a little older... Ive been a sahm since the age of 18. That being said we are not struggling financially and we still go on holidays ect.

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