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Original poster

Is 24 too young to settle down with a baby

338 replies

Stressedout65 · 12/02/2022 21:32

I know it depends on each individual, how they feel & what they want from life, but would you say 24 is a bit young these days

OP posts:
imagen · 12/02/2022 22:50

Anyone who thinks 24 is too young obviously had kids right at the limit. 24 is fine.

All the travellers have come out of the woodwork. Not everyone can or wants to do that.

Although yabu for asking this question. Everyone likes to judge when others had their kids. Usually rooted in insecurity for their own choices or irrational fear when people condemn someone (in their mid twenties!!) having a child.

RaginaPhalange · 12/02/2022 22:51

Its young yes but I had just turned 21 when I settled down and had a baby. I don't regret it one bit. We're now married with two ds. (I'm now 27 and dh 29).

MusicByTheLake · 12/02/2022 22:54

It depends on where you are in your life. At 24, when we had our first child, we had been together for almost 6 years, we had both been working for 6 years (after A levels), earnt good salaries, had done lots of having fun, and had bought our own house 2 years earlier.

BuddhaForMary · 12/02/2022 22:54

@burnthur5t

Your twenties are for having fun, going out, getting wasted, going on holiday with friends, sleeping around, doing wtf you want, when you want

Have a child, get married, game over

God no thanks, I wasn't ever into that. Not everyone likes that kind of thing. 2 by 24, and I've added more since then. Now in my forties with adult kids and little kids and don't regret a single day of it. I'd take a night in with my kids over a night out any day of the week.
CardiganAddict · 12/02/2022 22:56

Depends, you know you! People have covered the minuses, so I'll give you some plusses.
You can travel later in life, in your forties. You need more energy for kids to be honest. You'll get used to lifestyle changes a lot quicker than someone who has been settled for a decade.
Also, I was ignored career wise in my 20s and stagnated waiting. I used to deliberately not look so young to get taken more seriously. I feel now I get given more responsibility just for the sake of being older than anything else.
Probably depends on the industry!
Dont forget the grandparents too - sadly I was orphaned anyway but many friends have had help while they were still young.

MusicByTheLake · 12/02/2022 23:01

And we’re now early 40s with an 18 and 13 year old. I loved it when the kids were little but honestly, I’m glad they’re well on the way to being fully independent. The thought of having young children now isn’t appealing. I suppose if you’ve had them later, you probably don’t feel like that though. Each to their own.

purplesky18 · 12/02/2022 23:02

Had first at 21 second at 25 so I wouldn’t say too young. However financially we were brassic for a few years with our first child. Now we are in a better position and I don’t regret it at all. I’m shattered now I couldn’t imagine having young children in my 40’s.

GettingStuffed · 12/02/2022 23:05

I was 24 when I had my eldest, married with a house . I was perfectly fine, I'm now free to do stuff whilst my friend still has to consider hers wherever she plans.

cultkid · 12/02/2022 23:05

No i had my first son at 23
I'm now having my third baby and I'm 29

OldTinHat · 12/02/2022 23:08

No.

MrsM36 · 12/02/2022 23:17

Yes it is young, but I had my first of 3 children at 23 and it was the right time for my husband & I... it was our plan to have children young - we had our 2nd when I was 26. However the best laid plans & all that... our unexpected "happy surprise" was born when I was 36. Do I regret the way things have panned out? Absolutely not, although I would most likely advise my girls to live a little more before settling down.

Original poster
Stressedout65 · 12/02/2022 23:21

Thank you all for your comments. It's not about me nor am I being judgemental. My adult child is 24, goes out a lot & comes back at questionable times but never has had a serious relationship, ever. I think he finds living with us too restrictive as he does like his privacy. He's also saving very hard to move out, refuses to rent as it's dead money. I just worry in case he feels he's missing out relationship wise. As sensible & mature as he is I can't imagine him being a parent as he likes his freedom to come & go as he pleases. He's been in the same stable job since he left college at 20, but has no desire to progress in it as it would bore him. He's a very fit lad & needs the physical challenges & is off soon to join the Royal Marines.
At the same time about 3 of his friends, same age & in not great jobs money wise, are going to become dads. One has only been with his g/f a few months, none have moved out of their family homes & they've got a baby on the way. I just hope he doesn't feel left behind relationship wise as a lot of his friends seem to be settling down & it's not happening for him; but if he wants the life of a RM at this age a relationship is probably the last thing he needs right now. As for me I was happily married at 22 (still am) but was nowhere near ready for a baby at 24 financially & our old house we were doing up was a building site. He's got years ahead of him before he settles down like his mates I guess. He seems happy enough with his lot at the moment & looking forward to his new adventures, which is the main thing.

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 12/02/2022 23:22

I had my first at 23, married at 24, second baby at 26. I'm now 39 and a lot of my friends are having their first. I do not envy them at all but then I was never career orientated maybe if I had been I would have felt differently.

Babyvenusplant · 12/02/2022 23:24

Seems to be a very popular and typical response but not everyone wants to see the world and go travelling, definitely not something I've ever wanted to do.

MsAgnesDiPesto · 12/02/2022 23:33

It wouldn’t have been for me - I spent 22 to 29 establishing myself in a career, lived in three different cities for different jobs, had loads of experiences, had a good deal of fun with lots of unsuitable men, learned about what I want from relationships and what I’d don’t, who I am and what I want out of my life. I’ve now been in my final job role for over 15 years, doing something I couldn’t have envisaged at 24, but which is exactly what I was supposed to be doing; have been with DH for over 20 years, happily, because I knew he was the sort of man, and exactly the man, I wanted and needed; am happily living in the country having reached an age where I have done with cities apart from long weekends. I am happy and content now, and have a permanence which I wouldn’t have had if I hadn’t spent those formative years in the way I did.

If I’d married and style with one of my boyfriends from my 24th year, my life would have been much less happy and fulfilled.

BurntO · 12/02/2022 23:35

It’s not too young at all. Not everyone wants to travel and build a career at that age. Not everyone wants to be doing school runs and changing nappies in their thirties and forties. You do you

zlister · 12/02/2022 23:38

@BurntO

It’s not too young at all. Not everyone wants to travel and build a career at that age. Not everyone wants to be doing school runs and changing nappies in their thirties and forties. You do you

Very true, equally people can still build a career and travel after having a child. This isn't the Victorian era where you have a brood of 18 and are confined to the house.

Entirely possible to do all that, meanwhile there's people with no kids who live week by week to survive.

stevalnamechanger · 12/02/2022 23:39

Way too young

RosiePosieDozy · 12/02/2022 23:41

Yes, I would say too young to plan a baby. Finding yourself pregnant, yes you can definitely make it work and be happy. But I wouldn't like to plan it at this age.

Hopefullyoneday12 · 12/02/2022 23:44

Depends on the person. Not everyone wants to or is able to travel the world etc. Or would do something 'interesting' instead. Some people can't wait to settle down and have met someone to build a life with already. Many haven't.

I've met lots of fantastic younger parents. 24 is a lovely age to become a mum if you're ready.

Chely · 12/02/2022 23:51

Depends on many factors, too young for some but not all.

We were engaged at 18 & 20 and had our 1st child 51 weeks after he proposed.

ILikeItLikeThat21 · 12/02/2022 23:56

It depends on the individual. I owned my first property at 22, was financially secure. I was 24 when I first fell pregnant but sadly miscarried. 26 when my first child was born.

Viviennemary · 12/02/2022 23:57

Yes it is on the young side.

Kitkat151 · 12/02/2022 23:59

Might be for some....not for others.....I travelled from 18 to 22....then did my nurse training then had a baby at 25....my DD got pregnant at 20 and ......she and her partner have their own home...her partner runs a thriving business and dad is a SAHM to 2 little DDs....she says if she wants to travel she will do it at 40 When her girls at grown....that is right for her.

Kitkat151 · 13/02/2022 00:00

@RosiePosieDozy

Yes, I would say too young to plan a baby. Finding yourself pregnant, yes you can definitely make it work and be happy. But I wouldn't like to plan it at this age.
Why not?
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