Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is 24 too young to settle down with a baby

338 replies

Stressedout65 · 12/02/2022 21:32

I know it depends on each individual, how they feel & what they want from life, but would you say 24 is a bit young these days

OP posts:
NameChangeNymph · 12/02/2022 22:17

It would have been too young for me x

BellatrixOnABadDay · 12/02/2022 22:17

@Shmithecat2

I would say yes, imo, it is too young. I didn't have ds til I was 40, and I'm glad - I had a ball in my 20s and 30s and I'm glad I didn't sacrifice them.
But lots of us don't see it as a sacrifice? I personally wouldn't want to have a baby at 40 and be dealing with newborns/toddlers at that age and then teens in my 50s, but each to their own.
georgarina · 12/02/2022 22:17

There's no blanket yes or no answer.

For me no it wouldn't be too young, I never had the party-with-friends-all-night life and wanted kids. But I have friends now in our late 20s/30s who aren't ready. So it depends on the person and the circumstances - can they provide for a child etc.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 12/02/2022 22:19

@Trolleedollee

Much too young. I’d be really disappointed if any of my children were parents at 24.
I feel quite sorry for your children that you'd be disappointed for a perfectly normal and hopefully happy choice made in their mid 20s Confused it's 24, not 16
Noisyneighneigh · 12/02/2022 22:20

No though it just depends on the individual. If a woman wants to pack a lot in before kids, it may be too young. If she's broody, got a stable partner, a job and or already been to uni why wait? Obviously it's not currently the done thing in MC circles and you'll get many MC posters saying it's too young.

Lovemusic33 · 12/02/2022 22:20

I was 21 when I fell pregnant, had dd a week before my 22nd birthday, had dd2 18 months later. Was I too young? Yes, possibly. Though a part of me feels pleased that I’m almost 40 and my kids are almost grown up. Would I do things differently if I had the chance? Quite possibly. I wish I had travelled and had more fun before getting married and pregnant.

Noisyneighneigh · 12/02/2022 22:22

@Trolleedollee

Much too young. I’d be really disappointed if any of my children were parents at 24.
I hope you'd try to hide it.
kittensinthekitchen · 12/02/2022 22:22

Not at all. I was married with children by 24.

On the plus side, it meant I was divorced at 25 Grin

PaperMonster · 12/02/2022 22:22

Way too young!

OohRahhMaki · 12/02/2022 22:23

Personally, I think it is too young.

At 24 I certainly felt mature. I had a degree, a mortgage, was in a stable happy relationship and a job leading on to a decent career. But thinking back how much I matured through my twenties, it was, in hindsight far too young.

I experienced broodiness from early twenties onwards, but I am so glad that I held off having children. The life I could give my kids now is far better than the one I could have given them at 24, both financially and emotionally.

ImInStealthMode · 12/02/2022 22:24

Depends entirely on you and your situation. I'm 38 now and a completely different person from who I was at 24. Back then I was living the life, dating, working 2 jobs, travelling spontaneously.

If I'd been settled with a partner and a career at that stage it would have been very different.

Herewegoagain84 · 12/02/2022 22:26

Yes so so young - you have so much ahead of you and so many doors close (or are harder to get through!) once a child comes along.

Shmithecat2 · 12/02/2022 22:26

@BellatrixOnABadDay

But those in their 20s and 30s who had children will never know, will they? All I'm saying is, now knowing the responsibility and sacrifices you make when you have children, I'm glad I didn't do that in my 20s and 30s - there's no way it was worth it for me then, knowing what I know now. Plus I'm far better off now than I was then, and having a child hasn't hit us financially at all. Win win for me. Child free adulthood, comfortable middle aged parenthood.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 12/02/2022 22:27

@PaperMonster

Way too young!
No- 16 is way too young. Although even then some 16 yr olds can do an amazing job and a baby- a brand new little life- does not have to spell disaster with effort and the right support.

But 24, way too young? It's younger than the average now but it's mid 20s, people have had a good few years to do the things they want to do.

Sparklesocks · 12/02/2022 22:28

It would’ve been too young for me personally but of course it’s an individual choice.

housemaus · 12/02/2022 22:31

I think so, yes, because a lot of 24 year olds still come across very immature. But it's so individual - I know people who went into working at 16 and by 24 seemed very adult and settled down and sensible. And I know people who finished uni at 21 and were still very much in 'young' student mindset and wanting to travel - the former would have been fine as parents, the latter would probably have found it much harder.

Thinking back to myself at 24 - I was absolutely nowhere near ready to give up being just 'me' and a young adult in my own right yet, to be selfless for a child for years.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 12/02/2022 22:33

@Shmithecat2 it didn't hit me financially at all either- I bought a flat at 21, me and my ex had bought a house, he had a good job (police officer). It's the fact that he turned out to be an abusive arse that has caused me difficulties- which could have happened at any age.

I don't feel like it's held me back- I've still managed to have plenty of fun and do the things I've wanted to do since I had them. Either with them in tow or by myself. Like I said, it's different things that suit different people.

It's just anecdotal obviously but I personally have noticed that amongst people I know who have had children, those who were older have perhaps struggled a little more to adjust to a different lifestyle. They had so long of not having the responsibility, that when it came around, it almost hit them a little harder somehow. And the physical effects certainly hit them harder too. Obviously that's not always the case though.

SurfWaves · 12/02/2022 22:33

This is a very subjective question, not everyone wants to do much in life except settle down so for this type of person I would say yes it's great. I was too young at 24 and did settle but as I grew up we ended and I became a single mum. For me I would say no it is too young.

burnthur5t · 12/02/2022 22:39

Your twenties are for having fun, going out, getting wasted, going on holiday with friends, sleeping around, doing wtf you want, when you want

Have a child, get married, game over

BellatrixOnABadDay · 12/02/2022 22:42

@burnthur5t

Your twenties are for having fun, going out, getting wasted, going on holiday with friends, sleeping around, doing wtf you want, when you want

Have a child, get married, game over

Not everyone finds getting wasted and sleeping around fun or particularly fulfilling?

I did that as a teen/early 20s, but I don't think I ever enjoyed it that much. I've also messed around a fair bit since splitting with my ex and again, it's not especially satisfying or fulfilling.

toastfiend · 12/02/2022 22:46

Depends on the person. I'd been married for 2 years at 24, pregnant at 25. I'm almost 30 now and don't regret it. I have a nice life, nice home, great DH, amazing DS and my career has taken off after having him and I'm now on a trajectory that I couldn't have foreseen pre-pregnancy, when I felt a bit stuck.

I did quite a lot of living before I got married (although backpacking around the world sleeping in a selection of extremely depressing hostels has never been my idea of a good time) and I'm not chained to the sink and unable to enjoy my life now I've married because I'm actually in a healthy relationship.

ihatesoaps · 12/02/2022 22:47

Far too young in my opinion

Tunnocks34 · 12/02/2022 22:48

I was 24. Felt fine at the time but in reflection now I’m 32, it was too young. Lots we hadn’t yet done, financially we weren’t great either and I was still quite immature

Fayekrista · 12/02/2022 22:49

I had my youngest (now a teenager) at 19.
Hes my best friend.... I also now have a 6 month old at 33.
For me I don't regret either but I'm not one for travel etc.
If I was advising someone else though I probably would say go & see the world/experience things.... contradiction I know lol

Thewindwhispers · 12/02/2022 22:49

It was the average age to have a first baby in my parents generation…

24 is a lovely age to have a baby. It’s true that when you’re older you have more, financially. But you also have way less energy and that matters more than you imagine.