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Original poster

What is your biggest regret in life?

856 replies

Teadrinker11 · 12/02/2022 21:19

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

OP posts:
sarah13xx · 01/04/2022 00:23

I’d say probably doing the wrong thing at uni just because I got in and so many people didn’t. I got an interview for a postgrad in primary teaching and thought I’d go and see what it was like, I’d most likely get rejected anyway since so many people on the Facebook group were applying for the third and fourth year in a row. Miraculously, I got in. I was delighted. Looking back I think it was just the idea of ‘winning’ I was pleased about and nothing to do with the being a teacher aspect of it. I started uni and immediately felt out of place. Every lecture I felt uncomfortable and like it just wasn’t me. I kept hearing them say things and thinking I just wouldn’t be able to do that. I decided I’d continue until the first placement, which I would no doubt fail catastrophically, score this career avenue out and continue on with my life. Well surprise surprise, I passed that too 🤦🏼‍♀️ Again, delighted, purely at the fact I had passed something. Cut a long story short I passed all of it and have done the job for the last 6 years. I’ve never felt like it’s for me and I feel every day that everyone else is better than me. Every ounce of your being is criticised and if management haven’t already pulled you up for it, the parents will. It’s a thankless task that takes over your whole life. At times it has actually cost me money to work there between gifts for the children, classroom supplies and even furnishings.

Looking back I so wish I had missed out uni, learned a skill and started up my own business. I have started a business alongside my teaching role, it has only been running for 4 months but I am making double my salary every month. I keep comparing the two and wondering why I would do a job I hate for really not an awful lot of money. I’m planning my escape for later this year 🎉

girljulian · 01/04/2022 00:25

Didn't tell the person I was in love with when I was 21 that I was in love with them. That was the love of my life, I still love them. Found out just before they got married that they'd been in love with me too.

Didn't check my AMH until I was 30, thinking foolishly it'd be fine. It wasn't.

Bahhhhhumbug · 01/04/2022 00:25

Marrying again and once again living a life of being constantly a bag of nerves, trying to keep the peace, but it seems everything l do is criticised. Why can't l spot abusers a mile off.. I am just destined to live like this it seems as l am late fifties now in a home where lm shouted at, called names and criticised constantly.
Everything from the way l drive the way l stack the dishes, even the position l leave the shower head in. Tonight's rant was the way l say goodnight to my dog, it's pathetic apparently, it's a fucking dog not a person. I told him lm not being bullied into stopping saying goodnight to my dog and he's gone to bed in a strop now angry cos l called him a bully. I would stay single and have ten dogs if l had my life again

Rhannion · 01/04/2022 00:29

@Bahhhhhumbug

Marrying again and once again living a life of being constantly a bag of nerves, trying to keep the peace, but it seems everything l do is criticised. Why can't l spot abusers a mile off.. I am just destined to live like this it seems as l am late fifties now in a home where lm shouted at, called names and criticised constantly. Everything from the way l drive the way l stack the dishes, even the position l leave the shower head in. Tonight's rant was the way l say goodnight to my dog, it's pathetic apparently, it's a fucking dog not a person. I told him lm not being bullied into stopping saying goodnight to my dog and he's gone to bed in a strop now angry cos l called him a bully. I would stay single and have ten dogs if l had my life again
Is there anyway you can leave, and take your dog or get him out? Dogs are better than men any day!
SmellyOldOwls · 01/04/2022 00:47

I regret wasting so much time being afraid.

SmellyOldOwls · 01/04/2022 00:48

@Bahhhhhumbug

Marrying again and once again living a life of being constantly a bag of nerves, trying to keep the peace, but it seems everything l do is criticised. Why can't l spot abusers a mile off.. I am just destined to live like this it seems as l am late fifties now in a home where lm shouted at, called names and criticised constantly. Everything from the way l drive the way l stack the dishes, even the position l leave the shower head in. Tonight's rant was the way l say goodnight to my dog, it's pathetic apparently, it's a fucking dog not a person. I told him lm not being bullied into stopping saying goodnight to my dog and he's gone to bed in a strop now angry cos l called him a bully. I would stay single and have ten dogs if l had my life again
LTB. Life is too short x
NotNotNotMyName · 01/04/2022 00:53

Ever being with my exH. He’s a narcissistic psychopath. I knew he was dodgy and don’t know what I was thinking. Only months before I got together with exDH, someone else I’d always liked made an unexpected move on me, it took me by surprise and I turned him down. I have been wondering “what if” ever since. I wouldn’t have my two lovely DCs though but it’s been so hard raising them alone.

movingsoon13 · 01/04/2022 01:03

As Kathy Burke said, not shagging whoever I wanted at the time when I could. I mean I'm still in my 20's so plenty of time for that but wasted half a decade in a relationship that was entirely pointless and felt awful every time someone flirted with me or if I had a connection with someone else other than my ex partner. In hindsight I wish I had just gone for it. That relationship also somewhat hindered my social, travel and career goals.

Bahhhhhumbug · 01/04/2022 01:04

Rhannion no unfortunately if he left l could afford to pay off this mortgage but would wipe me out financially and would not be able pay the bills etc on my own. If l left ld have to move to a slightly rough area to live as a house here is out my league (very expensive area) but again ld be mortgage free but very low income to pay for anything else. L have no chance of getting a mortgage. Social housing l would only get a flat on my own and flats are all strictly no dogs here.

Rockmehardplace · 01/04/2022 01:10

Having an abortion

mamabear715 · 01/04/2022 01:12

It's heartbreaking reading some posts. I firmly believe that most situations are life lessons and shape us, and I can forgive the people who weren't nice to me, a lot easier than I can forgive myself for things I've said & done, although I know rationally that people probably never gave them a second thought!

Rockmehardplace · 01/04/2022 01:20

Just last week I read a quote which has completely changed how I view things -

“Just because things could have been different doesn’t mean to say they would have been better”.

Piper22 · 01/04/2022 01:24

@peasoup8

Falling for the ‘natural birth is best’ rubbish, trusting the doctors and not absolutely insisting on a C-section. I still get upset today when I think of the trauma my baby must have gone through.
@peasoup8 Out of curiosity, why do you think preference for a vagina birth is rubbish?
Bahhhhhumbug · 01/04/2022 01:32

SmellyOldOwls lve just no strength left l have to really talk myself out of bed and into the shower of a morning let alone starting again, moving and all the massive amount of practicalities that would entail. I'm too upset and beaten to barely function.

Grasping · 01/04/2022 02:24

Not doing things sooner.
I’m a great procrastinator!

1forAll74 · 01/04/2022 02:47

Getting divorced.

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 01/04/2022 03:03

I’m in my 40s and regret nothing. I proactively managed my life and career and even if things didn’t always work out which they didn’t, I tried to course correct as soon as I realised so as not to drift.

Essentially I believe the trick is not to drift through life but be actively engaged in your own life. Course correct when you notice you don’t like something. You can’t control everything but the things you can, you should and that way even if it doesn’t work out you won’t regret it, it will be just another lesson learned to inform the next step.

Also don’t compare yourself to others. You were dealt your own hand so play that one.

expat101 · 01/04/2022 03:14

Moving Countries. We have tackled more problems where we now live (I don't think its anything to do with the Country, just what life chucked at us) than before.

I know DH regrets it and I think if our old house came back up on the market, he would want to buy it back.

SarahBellam · 01/04/2022 03:41

Staying in a job with terrible management. I stayed in my last role for 8 years and for the last 5 I, along with the rest of the team, were agog at the inane decisions made by this overconfident but undertalented and underexperienced managers. I stayed because it was reasonably well paid, flexible and convenient, but a few months ago I finally moved, and it has been transformational. No gaslighting, no constant battles to get anything done, feeling appreciated (and not in that awful lip service ‘thank you for your contribution’ pat on the head kind of way), in a team that’s much more positive, energetic and outward focused and with much better support and direction (and better pay). Wish I’d done it years ago, but thrilled I’ve done it now.

Chestnutpony · 01/04/2022 03:49

@Piper22 Because natural birth quotas are sometimes pushed to an extent that it pushes women into vaginal birth when c section would be better.

If we push too hard to keep c section numbers low, we take away women's choices and harm mothers and babies.

Nat6999 · 01/04/2022 04:32

Regret getting married, it was the worst decision I made, I would have been happier being single. I also kind of regret having children much as I love ds, if I hadn't had him I could have had a clean break from exh. I really regret the fact that I didn't get my ASD diagnosis until I was 53, had I known when I was younger I would definitely not have married or had ds, I'm not a people person & am happier on my own. I have also been treated for MH issues since I was 17, knowing now I am ASD, much of what I was treated for was probably connected to it.

Dyra · 01/04/2022 04:58

Going to university to do the degree I did for the reasons I did. Huge mistake. The only upside is that I met my now husband there. We'd have never met otherwise.

speakout · 01/04/2022 05:47

No regrets.
I look on my past self with compassion. She made the best decisions she could at all times. Some of them led to difficult circumstances, but she was learning, had her own baggage, was insecure and struggled with poor self esteem and anxiety.
She was brave and resilient, and she learned a great deal, always willing to make the best of a bad situation and open to growth.

I can't criticise her choices, I know she did her best.

RonSwan · 01/04/2022 06:07

Sunscreen…or more accurately not wearing sunscreen. I always looked better with a tan and was quite tan obsessed as a kid right through to my early 30s. At 40, I’m suffering for that! And it’s only going to get worse! So…trust me on the sunscreen

Norgie · 01/04/2022 06:38

Getting into a car with a drunk driver when I was a young, dumb 17 year old.
I see the results of that every time I see my missing limb.

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