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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is your biggest regret in life?

856 replies

Teadrinker11 · 12/02/2022 21:19

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

OP posts:
Berengaria1 · 12/02/2022 21:42

I'm more than twice your age OP! I don't believe in having regrets, there's no point in looking back. However I do wish I'd gone to university. I had a place but didn't take it up. It's not a regret but it would have been interesting to see how my life might have turned out.....

Imabitbusyatthemoment · 12/02/2022 21:42

Same as yours OP but I’m 43. 26 is still SO young! You might feel like you’re behind your cohort now, but believe me, in a few years that gap will close and it will be ancient history. Well done for turning things around.

devildeepbluesea · 12/02/2022 21:42

@Cofifeefee

No point in having regrets. You can't go back in time and thinking about them keeps you in the past rather than acting in the present for the good of your future.
Totally this. Your life is your life and you don’t get to rewind.

Every single decision you make affects your future life. I’ve made some shocking decisions but at 48 I’m happy enough with where they’ve got me. So just embrace them and celebrate being alive. We’re here for a good time, not a long time as they say.

Twateralflow · 12/02/2022 21:42

@formalineadeline are you ok? I'm a listening ear if you need one

DontKeepTheFaith · 12/02/2022 21:43

Probably, that I did mental health nursing instead of general. I might have hated general nursing but after 20+ years I’m tired of mental health nursing and wish I had more options.

I’m late 40’s now and definitely too old and tired to retrain.

I also regret not going for a smear when it was first due. I then had 2 dses in quick succession so probably 3 years after my smear was due, I had a smear and was eventually diagnosed with cervical cancer in my early 30’s.

TheCanyon · 12/02/2022 21:45

Not buying a flat years ago when I could afford it, it never even crossed my mind. I'm 35, dh44, it won't ever happen now.

Otherwise no regrets really, except the one that got away Grin

tygh787 · 12/02/2022 21:46

Moving back to the UK after living in Europe for almost a decade. We moved back because our family all live in one place and it seemed like a good idea. It really really wasnt

Imsittinginthekitchensink · 12/02/2022 21:46

I try not to have regrets as I made the decisions I did at the time based on how I felt then. I do wish I hadn't settled down so young though, I thought love was more important than my other choices, but it was not - even if I were still married, I still should have made more of the time when I could; once you are married and have children, your choices diminish greatly.

FrankGrillosFloof · 12/02/2022 21:47

Should have bought a property sooner. I had the means, it just didn’t really occur to me until I’d been wafting about renting for far longer than was necessary.

But easy to say it now! Agree with others that there’s no point lamenting stuff.

DrManhattan · 12/02/2022 21:47

Wasting too much money and time on alcohol. Wished I had stopped drinking years before I did but no point regretting it. I've stopped now and that is what matters

PattesDuRhino · 12/02/2022 21:50

Thanks @Cofifeefee, I opened this thread wondering if I'd ever have the stomach to reveal my biggest regret, but your post made me feel much better.

I'm human, I made some terrible decisions, but I'm trying to live a good life now.

thistimelastweek · 12/02/2022 21:52

Not trying harder to keep my career after having children.

(2nd biggest regret; wish I'd given Dave a better chance. Sorry Dave, I sometimes think of you.)

WorkHardPlayHard1 · 12/02/2022 21:53

Your past is good to remember to push you forward. Double down and push yourself forward. I regretted not working harder at school and uni, but I did have lots of fun, that's never a waste believe me! You did the right thing at the right time and now its time to be more mature and build a solid life for the next phase. There's no success without failure, let it go!! Xxx

LakieLady · 12/02/2022 21:53

Marrying my ex.

Jumbonuts · 12/02/2022 21:53

@Phos

Wasted too many years on my ex husband who held me back from so many experiences and deprived me of so much enjoyment that I should have had in my early twenties.

Not spending enough time with my dad. Now he’s gone.

Swap dad out for papa and I could have written this exact post.
LadyinRead · 12/02/2022 21:54

Worrying too much. Not having enough self-belief. Not being nicer to my mum while she was still alive.

Oreoreo · 12/02/2022 21:54

Walking away from my ex. I miss him every day.

marthasGinyard · 12/02/2022 21:55

Staying with the father of my dd. Masogonistic, racist and abusive.

Vile

GreggsDoVitalWork · 12/02/2022 21:55

@formalineadeline Are you ok? Flowers

OldLawStudent · 12/02/2022 21:56

OP, are you me?
I'm a year older and studying law too Grin
Same regrets, I could be working on my career right now, except I'm living in a tiny rented flat with no money whilst all my friends have good jobs and mortgages. It sucks.

Miserablelife · 12/02/2022 21:57

I regret the majority of decisions I have made as at 42 I have a miserable, joyless existence and I just hate every aspect. Escalating health problems I m too scared to get looked at, mental and physical, no friends, no family that care, a horrible toxic ‘relationship’.and a job I despise. We live in a nasty damp scruffy house, that makes me cry every day with no savings, no pension and I have no hope of turning it around at my age. My DC are the only decision I don’t regret but they would have been better born to someone else. I wish I d made better relationship, career and financial choices in my earlier life and I will do all I can to make sure my kids do.

GreggsDoVitalWork · 12/02/2022 21:58

OP only regret is time wasted on undeserving partners. So much wasted energy trying to shoehorn the wrong man into my dream relationship. When it’s right, it’s just so f**king easy. Wish I’d known that at 26.

Firefliess · 12/02/2022 22:00

Not being ambitious enough when younger. Now I'm the age when I see people my own age running the country, or running organisations, making a name for themselves. Some of them are crap and I think I could do so much better! But I just drifted in my 20s and wasn't focused on a career. I didn't see the possibilities that would have been out there, but now mostly aren't.

Westerman · 12/02/2022 22:01

Being so hard on myself. Doubting myself. Hating myself so much.

UserBot9to5 · 12/02/2022 22:03

That my children's father is such an arsehole. My life is ok. Recovered financially (to a degree anyway, have security) and I'm content single, love my DC. But even though I've recovered from the experience, they will never have a decent father with empathy who supports them.

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