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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What is your biggest regret in life?

856 replies

Teadrinker11 · 12/02/2022 21:19

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

OP posts:
Clawdy · 31/03/2022 22:44

Going to a local teacher training college instead of choosing one in Exeter. I've never lived anywhere other than my home town, and it's a big regret.

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 31/03/2022 22:44

Waited almost 12 years to follow my dream career. I knew what I wanted to do at 19, but chose to pursue other options and tried out 3 other career paths.
I wouldn't say I necessarily regret what I did, but I wish I'd pushed harder in my early 20s to be where I am now.

Frollop · 31/03/2022 22:45

Being born

PrincessPaws · 31/03/2022 22:48

Coming off the pill after 20 years and getting fat.

Unbeknownst to me the pill was controlling my PCOS and I put on 5 stone in the 6 months after coming off it, it fucked my endocrine system and now I have various health issues as a result of that and my weight gain. The combined pill would be the ideal solution but I'm not allowed because I'm too fat, plus I've been depressed for about 10 years because I hate how I look (and my health issues)

The ironic thing is I came off the pill because I thought it was unhealthy to be on it so long and decided I'd give my body a break while I was single. I have struggled every day since

Daisycat76 · 31/03/2022 22:48

I regret my degree choice. I picked a subject randomly at 18 because I didn't know what to do, and it's completely useless to me now. At 31 I'd love to do another degree but you only get funding for one. I wish I'd taken the time to really figure out what I wanted to do with my life.

Also regret wasting so much time on an abusive ex boyfriend, taking him back again and again every time he said sorry, allowing him to do so much damage to my self esteem.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 31/03/2022 22:49

.

Mummyme87 · 31/03/2022 22:50

Making poor financial decisions and getting into debt.

stopping my contraception pill and falling pregnant which resulted in a ruptured ectopic and losing a tube.

Dilemma22 · 31/03/2022 22:50

I never really ‘dated’. Got with DH at 18, am now 32. Love the bones of him, but wish I met him a little later in life. I’d love to freeze time, have a few dates and then come back to my life now!

Dilemma22 · 31/03/2022 22:51

@Frollop Hope you’re ok.

tillyandmilly · 31/03/2022 22:58

Not buying a house when I had the opportunity in my 30’s and now too old to get a mortgage on my salary!

Frollop · 31/03/2022 22:59

@Dilemma22 I'm ok thanks. I've just got too many regrets so personally it would be easier not to have been born.
X

Monitaurus · 31/03/2022 23:01

Being naive as a young woman and not understanding how much men hate us. Being kind to those that do not deserve this from us. Not being as competent as I needed to be in many matters.

PoshPyjamas · 31/03/2022 23:07

@Maskless

I have two great regrets

  1. Wasted my teens, 20s, and 30s spending all my free time socialising, chatting about nothing with people whilst eating, drinking, smoking and giggling when I could have been studying and learning.

  2. I ended a lesbian relationship with a young woman, she was 17 and still at school, and I was 25 and she absolutely adored me, worshipped and idolised me. I felt it was wrong because she seemed so young and naive, had never even tried sex with a man, and the age gap felt so huge. It felt wrong. So I ended it, and she committed suicide, and I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

If the relationship felt wrong then ending it was the right thing to do. You were not responsible for her subsequent actions.
Tulipdays · 31/03/2022 23:08

Choosing the wrong father for my son.
Wasting my younger years on ex.
Coming up to 40 and now I'm a single mum working out how I want to spend the rest of my life.
And yes there are some days I regret having children but that's more to do with ex than my lovely DS.

gingerhills · 31/03/2022 23:13

Career-wise, spending years doing what people told me was the right thing to do to progress, instead of what I really loved doing, which allegedly would lead along a less successful path. Not true. Back doing what I love, having hated what I was told by everyone to do.

liliainterfrutices · 31/03/2022 23:18

Not knowing how to ask for help from people who would have helped, I think. I was terrified of seeming needy.

PrincessPaws · 31/03/2022 23:27

Ah yes, and also 'being sensible' and deciding to pay off my university debt instead of getting a 105% mortgage on a little flat when I was 22, in 2000, just before house prices started soaring which not only would have paid off my debt but also given me a good chunk to put on the next place because the value of the flat increase by about 70k in 2 years, and after that I could never catch up.

I finally got on the property ladder aged 38 and will never see anything like the returns that my peer group did

PinkPiranha11 · 31/03/2022 23:45

Loads.

-Listening to my mum and choosing a degree I thought would be “useful” rather than the interesting subject I wanted to do.
-Marrying my DH. He’s lovely on the whole but he’s not the one. Although our kids are amazing and we have a good life.
-Not kissing “the one” when he tried back in 2005, because I was already living with my now DH and I didn’t want to cheat.

  • not working abroad
  • not making more effort to keep in touch with friends over the years or make new ones. I’m surrounded by people constantly but I’m so lonely.
bakedbeansandgravy · 31/03/2022 23:47

Getting married
The money spent on the wedding
Wasting my life
Most of the things I've said and done
Sleeping with a relative (I was 17, he was about 45-50, did he take advantage?)
Running over our cat (accident). I killed it
Stupid shit I did at work.

gatsbyhasdied · 31/03/2022 23:47
  1. Choosing wrong friends and staying in toxic relationships
  2. Not standing up to my boss and allowing him to bully me and make me feel like shit.
  3. Being too nice and sacrificing my own interests.

Basically, having poor boundaries when I was younger. I wish I could go back in time and change it.

Myboypink · 31/03/2022 23:51

@Blossomtoes

I cried reading your comment . My love to you x

Flyingteaspoon · 31/03/2022 23:53

So so many. But one Is wishing I’d known about MN when I was married as Id maybe had people to help me see that I was in an abusive relationship, encouraged me to leave and offered practical advice. I spent 23 married to someone I loathed and who ruined my life and my DDs. Such a terrible waste. It messed DD up so badly and we have had a terribly difficult relationship too and are estranged at the moment. My heart is broken.

Moonlightflower · 01/04/2022 00:06

Moving

LovelyYellowLabrador · 01/04/2022 00:08

Spending too long smoking and nodding rather than having a voice and speaking my mind

Thankfully I’m well past that now

cass5 · 01/04/2022 00:20

Have been in the UK for almost 20 years and regret being away from my country, family and friends. Nevertheless, my children would not have existed as they are if I had not come here and met their father. I wish I could take them all with me now, and I fear I will regret in the future not working harder to make that happen.