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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this isn't 'pretentious'

332 replies

blameitontheweatherwoman · 12/02/2022 18:28

Meeting my brothers new girlfriend last night at a family event. Small talk etc and she asked me what I was doing at uni, I said and I quote, 'a masters in social work'. That was fine, small pleasantries were exchanged and that was it.

Must note me and my brother don't have the best of relationships. God knows we've tried but we just don't get on, we're polar opposites and fall out, make up, fall out, make up.

Anyways, this afternoon I received a text from him, basically the way I presented myself and my education was 'pretentious'. Was there any need to tell his girlfriend I was doing a master in social work rather than just 'I'm doing social work'. He said even saying I was doing a postgrad would have been better.

It was honestly not a conscious thought but was then thinking, even if it was, why bloody not? I'm proud of it?

However it's made me weary about how I present it to others (sure I'm overthinking). Is it pretentious to say that when asked??

OP posts:
Abraxan · 13/02/2022 20:57

@blameitontheweatherwoman

I just a wondered would it be less 'pretentious' to say, 'I'm doing a postgrad in social work'
Definitely not. Makes no real difference whatsoever. Tbh I'd probably think 'post grad' sounds a bit more Hmm than 'Masters' if I was remotely thinking that way.

As it I wouldn't think that for either. I know lots of people who have, or are currently doing, a masters, PHD and other postgrad qualifications. If any mention what they were doing it wouldn't sound Pretentious at all.

It just sounds like the OP's brother has a chip on his shoulder.
Along with a minority of posters perhaps too.

whynotwhatknot · 13/02/2022 21:00

Just say what i tell my dsis to tell her ex

sorry i dont know what youre talking about-then ignore

Fimofriend · 13/02/2022 21:03

Nothing pretentious about it at all. Are you supposed to make yourself smaller than you are so that he can feel better about himself?

roastedsaltedpeanut · 13/02/2022 21:10

In my experience only phd students can refer to themselves as postgraduates. undergraduates/masters/postgraduates.

Also your bro is veeeery envious of your apparent higher social status. Massive chip on his shoulder.

Wordlewords78 · 13/02/2022 21:19

I think I woukd reply along the lines of:

"I gave a factual answer to a factual question. Good to know I have your support Hmm"

Pembertonrd · 13/02/2022 21:23

@Wordlewords78

I think I woukd reply along the lines of:

"I gave a factual answer to a factual question. Good to know I have your support Hmm"

Absolutely. He’s an idiot.
Gilly12345 · 13/02/2022 21:30

He sounds jealous and sounds like he is playing down your achievements.

Ignore him.

YouokHun · 13/02/2022 21:46

@Pleasebeafleabite

Yep pretentious
@Pleasebeafleabite I’d be really interested to know how you think the question “what are you doing at university” should be answered if the facts are that you’re doing a Masters in Social Work at university? Should OP have said “I just pop in to clean the university bogs” or “I don’t know really, I was trying to book a fortnight at Pontins and just sort of ended up there”.

YouokHun
BSc, MSc, O Level Woodwork

shinynewapple22 · 13/02/2022 21:54

How on earth can anyone think studying social work is pretentious ? Bizarre .

Harmonypuss · 13/02/2022 21:57

I'm a bit on the fence here.

If she asked WHAT you're studying the answer should be Social Work

If she asked at WHAT LEVEL, then you say you're doing a Masters

Americano75 · 13/02/2022 21:59

What a shitcunt. If he's not jealous then he's just determined to denigrate you and what you're achieving.

Angrywife · 13/02/2022 22:06

Its not pretentious at all, be proud and tell him you're proud

Not sure why you'd be getting weary (tired) of telling people though, maybe you mean wary?

GeorgiaLove · 13/02/2022 22:16

@Harmonypuss

I'm a bit on the fence here.

If she asked WHAT you're studying the answer should be Social Work

If she asked at WHAT LEVEL, then you say you're doing a Masters

There's a lot of shite spouted on this site. On the pedantic (and wrong) side of the fence
GeorgiaLove · 13/02/2022 22:21

@roastedsaltedpeanut

In my experience only phd students can refer to themselves as postgraduates. undergraduates/masters/postgraduates.

Also your bro is veeeery envious of your apparent higher social status. Massive chip on his shoulder.

There's a lot of shite spouted on this site. What, in the name of all that's holy, does your first sentence say?
mUserBot9to5 · 13/02/2022 22:25

Reply with

"😅"

Schlerp · 13/02/2022 22:26

His insecurity about his lack of higher education doesn’t mean you’re pretentious, just that he has a chip on his shoulder about his education… which is really stupid because some of the cleverest (and most pretentious) people I’ve ever met have never studied post16

Cleanbedlinen12 · 13/02/2022 22:28

Of course you can say you’re doing a masters! It’s what you are doing! It also in my humble, is an incredible achievement and different to doing a degree.

Harmonypuss · 13/02/2022 22:28

@GeorgiaLove

^Harmonypuss

I'm a bit on the fence here.

If she asked WHAT you're studying the answer should be Social Work

If she asked at WHAT LEVEL, then you say you're doing a Masters

There's a lot of shite spouted on this site. On the pedantic (and wrong) side of the fence^

Are you implying that me having an opinion is being pedantic? If someone asks a question on here, they're expecting people's (varying) opinions.

GeorgiaLove · 13/02/2022 22:31

There's a lot of shite spouted on this site.

I can't be arsed finding the post that states "it's not as if it's maths at Oxford", or words to that effect. You're suggesting then that if it were then that would be pretentious?

Susu49 · 13/02/2022 22:33

@roastedsaltedpeanut um...no.

You are an undergraduate when completing a bachelors degree, from which you graduate and are hence forth a postgraduate if you continue to study at a higher institution level.

A masters degree is not an undergrad degree.

eastegg · 13/02/2022 22:33

@Pleasebeafleabite

“What are you doing at uni?”

“Social work”

Why did you need to emphasise the masters? No one else GAF truly. Other than You Really Do.

See I think that would be an annoyingly vague answer to the question. If I asked someone what they were ‘doing’ at uni, I would be impliedly asking what level, what are you studying towards. But then I’m not a twat with a chip on my shoulder.
Santaslittlemelter · 13/02/2022 22:34

@girlmom21

I'd think you were a bit pretentious emphasising the Masters to be honest, but that's because I know people who do so and are being pretentious.
This is ridiculous. She’s doing a masters. So why exactly should she hide it? And a masters is not that unusual. I’m totally baffled.
GeorgiaLove · 13/02/2022 22:52

You can't be considered pedantic for having an opinion. Your opinion, however, can. Just saying, like . . .

GeorgiaLove · 13/02/2022 22:58

Harmonypuss

Suzanne999 · 13/02/2022 23:22

Not pretentious at all.