To think this isn't 'pretentious'

[blameitontheweatherwoman]

Meeting my brothers new girlfriend last night at a family event. Small talk etc and she asked me what I was doing at uni, I said and I quote, 'a masters in social work'. That was fine, small pleasantries were exchanged and that was it.

Must note me and my brother don't have the best of relationships. God knows we've tried but we just don't get on, we're polar opposites and fall out, make up, fall out, make up.

Anyways, this afternoon I received a text from him, basically the way I presented myself and my education was 'pretentious'. Was there any need to tell his girlfriend I was doing a master in social work rather than just 'I'm doing social work'. He said even saying I was doing a postgrad would have been better.

It was honestly not a conscious thought but was then thinking, even if it was, why bloody not? I'm proud of it?

However it's made me weary about how I present it to others (sure I'm overthinking). Is it pretentious to say that when asked??

As many have already said on this thread your brother sounds mean and insecure.

If I were you I’d almost be tempted to carry on and pursue a doctorate just so you can piss him off even more at the next family gathering!

If ever there was a time for a 👍🏼 text response it's now OP...

Reply with 👍

I bet your brother is one of those that goes round saying that he has a degree from the University of Life.

Just stupid sibling jealousy then.

Ignore him and others like him. You’ll come across many more who find women boasting about qualifications. Continue to boast and promote yourself.

Well done on studying for a Masters degree.

If you need to reply just say … are there any other achievements that make him feel small?

Siblings, eh? Sometimes you've just got to roll your eyes.

You weren't pretentious at all, op - good luck with your Masters!

OP. Wary, not weary!

@Nanny0gg

Did you ask him if he had any vinegar for that chip?

Oh I am filing that away for the perfect moment

Don't worry about it, you weren't being pretentious, just stating what you are doing. There's some security issue here methinks. It'll pass.

No it's not, you start with a degree, then can do postgrade and then move onto masters then PhD. Why wouldn't yiu say a masters if that is what you are doing. Just ignore your brother.

@ComDummings

Your brother is a dick

Yeah and we don’t need so much as a GCSE to know this 😂🤣

Text back Thank you x Love you so much xx

Not pretentious at all. Well done! x

I wouldn't spare anyone anything if I'd worked my a$$ off to get a master's.
I did my law degree through the OU and brought up my 5 children often on my own as my ex husband worked offshore. I then later did a master's and later still a year long study of forensic graphology, a distance learning course offered by John Moore's University, for which I gained my diploma.
I certainly don't parade my achievements, only when asked what I did all day as a SAHM.

your brother is not very nice, and it looks like he is looking for a fight to fall out again, and blame it on you.

I hope you didn’t respond to the text. Best ignored.

Not pretentious at all. I'd be interested to know - does he think it's pretentious or did GF say it eas and he agrees?

Unless a response is required, I wouldn't bother. If it is, I'd simply say 'I was asked a question and I answered it'.

Don't let him drag you into thecylce you both clearly have with one another.

He’s jealous.

His problem, not yours. You should be proud. I’m doing a masters and I’m proud!

He sounds very very annoying and jealous to be honest and he should be supporting you as you mentioned you are a single mum and you should be very proud of yourself as know the challenges personally and trying to balance time and really hard if have no support. You just told her what you are doing and he is been a total dickhead. He sounds like the men in my family wanting to put the women down no matter what they say or do but do not show support. Just tell him you are doing a master's end of and to just stop trying to belittle you and control you. Feel sorry for his girlfriend as she has to live with his controlling ways. Well done to you.

@blameitontheweatherwoman Not pretentious, he's just jealous. Never allow a man to control how you present yourself to the world or diminish what you're achieving, even if he is your brother. What a knob.

If you haven’t responded I’d strongly recommend you don’t bother. My brother can be incredibly patronising and I find the best thing for me is to ignore any condescending texts and not respond.

It’s not pretentious at all. She asked you a question and you gave her an answer that was factually accurate.

@girlmom21

I'd think you were a bit pretentious emphasising the Masters to be honest, but that's because I know people who do so and are being pretentious.

In what way is it pretentious to simply say ' I'm doing a masters in social work' - that's not emphasising anything, it's simply stating a fact.

To say 'I work in social care' is possibly not accurate, if the op is studying still, for example.

And what in earth is wrong with being honest about studying?!

The things we say just so someone else doesn't feel bad about themselves. But what we're really doing is putting ourselves down. So, this is their problem not yours, be proud of what you're doing. You could make an amazing difference to so many lives/ discover a new technology/ treatment etc. F them, good luck x

Your brother is horrible,Im tempted to wonder why you have anything to do with him - he's a jerk and an abusive idiot, in what world should you undersell yourself to make him look better - classic narcissistic behaviour, I'm going to say that maybe you don't need him in your life while he behaves this way to you