To think this isn't 'pretentious'

[blameitontheweatherwoman]

Meeting my brothers new girlfriend last night at a family event. Small talk etc and she asked me what I was doing at uni, I said and I quote, 'a masters in social work'. That was fine, small pleasantries were exchanged and that was it.

Must note me and my brother don't have the best of relationships. God knows we've tried but we just don't get on, we're polar opposites and fall out, make up, fall out, make up.

Anyways, this afternoon I received a text from him, basically the way I presented myself and my education was 'pretentious'. Was there any need to tell his girlfriend I was doing a master in social work rather than just 'I'm doing social work'. He said even saying I was doing a postgrad would have been better.

It was honestly not a conscious thought but was then thinking, even if it was, why bloody not? I'm proud of it?

However it's made me weary about how I present it to others (sure I'm overthinking). Is it pretentious to say that when asked??

Pretentious? Moi?

@pickingdaisies

Pretentious? Moi?

You do actually have to text this back to him, and then revel in his little head spinning off into another dimension in apoplectic rage.

It would be if you just dropped it into the conversation, but you just answered a question factually.

If you think a master's is pretentious then you obviously can't achieve one.

Yeah, defo don't emphasise the master's bit. Just tell her you've got a GCSE in typing.

Do NOT offend by answering honestly.

Women should always be coy about education.

Oh for gods sake your brother is being a total twat who gives a shit. Why are you not allowed to say what you are studying when someone asks ignore him he's obviously jealous and by the way I would have absolutely no clue what the difference is between a masters post grad PhD bla bla bla and nor do I care so pls can no one helpfully explain as I won't be reading thanks

Good luck to you @blameitontheweatherwoman & I hope the course goes well

Pretentious is 'attempting to impress by affecting greater importance or merit than is actually possessed.l'

You told the truth.

Your brother is jealous of you and shows it.

I don't see it as pretentious, you should be proud of what you've achieved. He sounds like a pillock and also sounds jealous of you.

@TiffanyAchingsHatFullofSky

It's not in the slightest bit pretentious.

No wonder you don't get on with him.

This. Your brother has an enormous chip on his shoulder.

Yep, he’s jealous as hell. Not your problem. You be proud and you do you!! Just goes to show eh - you can have the house etc etc and still be jealous of your sibling

He's a dick. End of. You were asked, you answered. No wonder you aren't close. Good on you BTW i wish you every success in achieving your goal 😃

Did you ask him if he had any vinegar for that chip?

not at all pretentious, and I really like the 'pretentious, moi?' reply

If you said 'social work, I mean Masters of course' that would be pretentious.

Not pretentious at all. Someone has an inferiority complex 😑

Your brother is a dick.

What a silly man your brother is being. His girlfriend asked what you were doing, you told her. Nothing pretentious in what you said at all. He really needs to grow up. Is it possible he’s a little bit jealous of what you are achieving? Sorry if someone else has asked this, but I’ve not read the whole thread.

Not pretentious at all! Why shouldn't you be proud of your achievements?

How is saying Post-Grad better than saying Masters?

Surely if you were an under grad you would have said ' I am doing a degree in X". So when you had done that ,and moved on to a Masters there is nothing wrong with saying "I am doing a masters in X with Y" My DIL is due to start a PhD in October. If anyone asks me I will tell them just that.Saying I am doing a batchelors in something isn't usually said because if you say you are studying X people will assume that's your first degree. Why shouldn't people who have worked bloody hard and accrued lots of student debt, be honest about what they are doing.

Nope. “What you doing at Uni? I’m doing blah blah blah.” I don’t look for validation for my hard work from other people.

that might be appropriate when talking to a stranger at the bus stop, but what about in conversations with your inner circle?

My brother’s new girlfriend isn’t my “inner circle” OP said herself “small talk and pleasantries”

Not pretentious at all OP.

It's not as if you said "A masters - only the best get to do a masters you know - social work, very competitive you understand - I won't discuss the details you're probably too poorly educated to understand it"

You just answered a normal question with a normal answer

Oh, and as an aside, well done you for what you are doing. You’re working hard and good for you. 😊

You said nothing wrong. After all if someone was doing a PHd they’d very reasonably say ‘I’m doing a PhD in ..... so why shouldn’t you Masters. Be proud of yourself and don’t let others bring you down with their own nonsense, even family.

@girlmom21

I'd think you were a bit pretentious emphasising the Masters to be honest, but that's because I know people who do so and are being pretentious.

She didn't 'emphasise' the masters though. She just stated a fact.

If someone is insecure about other people having higher level qualifications, that's their issue. The OP was hardly having a lengthy boast about how clever she is.