Page 2 | Why are there so many scared woman drivers ? Woman up and learn how to drive !

KilmordenCastle · 12/02/2022 10:24

I don't trust other drivers. There are some shockingly shit and reckless drivers out there (men and women) and I just don't trust any other drivers to do the safe thing.

Also the idea of being in control of a large machine that can kill people if I am not concentrating 100% is a scary thought to me. I do drive but I'm very cautious about driving if I can't be sure I'm completely switched on. Won't drive if I haven't had enough sleep, won't drive if I've had even a drop of alcohol etc. I feel like driving a car is a big responsibility and I take it very seriously. The idea of accidently killing someone while driving plays on my mind a lot

AllOfUsAreDead · 12/02/2022 10:24

@ZealAndArdour

Wonder how many of them have had a dad/boyfriend/husband/male sat in the passenger seat criticising their driving at some point (or continually) which has had a cumulative effect on their confidence on the roads, when combined with acts of road rage from other road users, and non-courteous driving inflicted on them?

My driving is constantly criticised by my dad or my boyfriend, the the point now that if I’m having even the slightest bad day or feeling a bit off colour my boyfriend will do a patronising “shall I drive?” and head tilt thing insinuating that I’m not capable.

The only accident I’ve ever had in 15 years of driving was taking it too tight into my dads drive way one time in the dark and scraping the side of my car, so that would suggest I’m not really a danger to anyone else on the road. Yet the frequent criticisers have had a variety of points and fines and accidents.

Do it back to them then.

Next time someone critiques you, pull over, get out and make them drive. Then sit there and critique every single thing they do wrong.

SallyWD · 12/02/2022 10:24

I'm a nervous driver. I learnt to drive at 35 (12 years ago) and have never really gained any confidence driving. I'm absolutely fine on local routes I know but if someone asked me to drive to the other side of my city (horrible busy roads, loads of lanes, some motorway etc) I'd be so scared and choose public transport. It's nothing to do with male drivers. I don't know what it is - just the thought of driving a tonne of metal around at fast speeds surrounded by loads of other people all driving fast. I'm always nervous about switching lanes, busy roundabouts etc. I see how easy it is for a crash to happen. I also don't have great spacial awareness (always been clumsy) so a couple of times I've badly scraped the car on walls or other cars when I thought I had loads of space. I honestly think it's just the way my brain is wired. I don't find driving easy at all.

Original poster

unfeelingwife · 12/02/2022 10:24

@Magpiesalute

I’m really pleased for you that you don’t find driving scary, but why criticise those who do? It’s a perfectly understandable fear. A simple mistake when driving could cause serious injury or death. There are a lot of aggressive drivers on the roads and many people don’t seem to have much patience. I can drive, but I hate it. I have had two separate lots of refresher lessons and my driving is perfectly ok, but I still loathe it and feel anxious about making a mistake. I’m not sure that will ever change.

I think women are too scared to be seen as doing anything wrong and get flustered if someone behind them is impatient with them. Also they probably get upset by being called a c** by other drivers. Happens to me frequently in central london for example. Taxi drivers etc just swearing at me. I couldn't care less. We shouldn't care ! I think women care too much about upsetting others and being shouted at. We just should get on with it ! This is still us trying to be good little girls and I hate it.

All generalisations and my opinion of course:

OP posts:

DrMaryMalone · 12/02/2022 10:24

My MIL is like this. Will only drive to certain places and if she has to go anywhere else gets one of her sons to drive her.

I drive around the country in all weathers for work and can’t imagine being so restricted.

Howeverdoyouneedme · 12/02/2022 10:24

I think perhaps, that women are more likely to say they don’t drive, it’s more acceptable perhaps. I know a fair few man who don’t drive. I tell you what though, it doesn’t affect me in the slightest.

Pinkclarko · 12/02/2022 10:25

Are you like this in real life OP?

How’s that working out for you?

GirlInACountrySong · 12/02/2022 10:27

Another post trying to stir up hatred for men

Original poster

unfeelingwife · 12/02/2022 10:27

@Pinkclarko

Are you like this in real life OP?

How’s that working out for you?

Struck a nerve have I

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Hasselhoffsheadband · 12/02/2022 10:27

Why do driving threads always bring out the twats on MN?

Some kind of fear of driving is perfectly rational. You are potentially travelling at 70 odd mph in a metal box on wheels, that you are solely in control of and responsible for, alongside dozens of other people in metal boxes on wheels, that they are solely in control or and responsible for.

And you wonder why people might be a bit worried about that and judge them for it?

ZealAndArdour · 12/02/2022 10:27

@AllOfUsAreDead

Oh, I’m not saying I lack confidence to drive, i’m a strong enough character to just ignore them and carry on with my own style of driving that works for me. I just know there are some women out there who will get beaten down by this constant criticism.

cheekychaplin · 12/02/2022 10:27

I've seen so many posts about scared women drivers.

You are unlikely to see any men posting about driving anxiety on mumsnet though.

ClariceQuiff · 12/02/2022 10:27

Also they probably get upset by being called a c by other drivers

How very unreasonable of them .

Original poster

unfeelingwife · 12/02/2022 10:28

[quote ZealAndArdour]@AllOfUsAreDead

Oh, I’m not saying I lack confidence to drive, i’m a strong enough character to just ignore them and carry on with my own style of driving that works for me. I just know there are some women out there who will get beaten down by this constant criticism.[/quote]
Definitely !

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Ilovegreentomatoes · 12/02/2022 10:28

I don't drive because I hate it.I don't care what irrelevant people like you think of me.
FWIW I know plenty of men who hate driving and so don't. Stop being such an arse about it. It doesn't affect you personally so why are you so annoyed by it.
I deal with every aspect of my life on my own so far from pathetic you just seem like a nasty person.

Gumbo · 12/02/2022 10:28

I completely agree with this being a trait that is almost exclusive to women and it baffles me. I used to share a house with a woman in her twenties who had just learnt to drive - but she was very nervous and utterly incapable of parallel parking, to the point where she'd come home having literally abandoned the car in the middle of the road, right beside a perfectly suitable parking spot and ask me to park it for her! . Tragically she later died in a car crash (caused by her)

grapewine · 12/02/2022 10:28

Are you as super pathetically annoying in real life?

AllOfUsAreDead · 12/02/2022 10:28

[quote ZealAndArdour]@AllOfUsAreDead

Oh, I’m not saying I lack confidence to drive, i’m a strong enough character to just ignore them and carry on with my own style of driving that works for me. I just know there are some women out there who will get beaten down by this constant criticism.[/quote]
Put them in a car with me, I'll make them cry.

ValleyO · 12/02/2022 10:29

Because women as a class of people often lack confidence, due to the way we are socialised and the way we are treated.

Because men are socialised to be confident, self assured, cocky and risk-taking, and women aren’t.

It’s not hard, OP, if you’d get off your high horse. It took me years to get my confidence with driving. I’ll drive anywhere now, but I can absolutely see why so many women lack confidence in their own ability and competence with driving, as with many other areas of life.

As an aside, in my experience, women are generally better drivers. Usually drive defensively rather than aggressively, keep within speed limits, and aren’t filled with rage over minor everyday driving disputes.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 12/02/2022 10:29

Yeah I’m nervous of driving but love spiders.

Therefore l am superior to confident braggy drivers

NotNowBoris · 12/02/2022 10:29

Could it be an age thing? I learnt to drive as a teenager and have driven all over without any issues since then. My mother is from a time when not every family had a car, and if they did it was Dad who drove. She learnt to drive in her 40s and it has never been 2nd nature to her as it is for me. When my dad died she got rid of her cat altogether as she couldn't face driving without him sat next to her panicking and criticising at every turn!

cheekychaplin · 12/02/2022 10:29

It's interesting how you have said it's super pathetic not to be able to drive properly but go on to say taxi drivers in London frequently shout at you for getting flustered but you don't care.

Original poster

unfeelingwife · 12/02/2022 10:30

@ValleyO

Because women as a class of people often lack confidence, due to the way we are socialised and the way we are treated.

Because men are socialised to be confident, self assured, cocky and risk-taking, and women aren’t.

It’s not hard, OP, if you’d get off your high horse. It took me years to get my confidence with driving. I’ll drive anywhere now, but I can absolutely see why so many women lack confidence in their own ability and competence with driving, as with many other areas of life.

As an aside, in my experience, women are generally better drivers. Usually drive defensively rather than aggressively, keep within speed limits, and aren’t filled with rage over minor everyday driving disputes.

I agree with you.

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TheCatWearsPrada · 12/02/2022 10:30

If other drivers frequently swear at you maybe the problem is your shit driving

ToykotoLosAngeles · 12/02/2022 10:30

@THisbackwithavengeance

Because their DHs do the real driving on the big roads and they just pop to the shops, do the school runs, and occasionally drive home when the DH fancies a drink.

So they lose any confidence they had in themselves in the 1st place and their skills become diminished due to lack of practice.

I agree OP. It irritates me how the default position in most couples is for the man to drive.

Yep. I try and make sure I do some of the distance driving. When we do Yorkshire to Somerset I swap with DH around the bottom of the M6.

Part of it though is also just being comfortable with what you're used to. I commuted in the dark down windy roads for 10 years so I might drive us to Cornwall, whereas DH is more used to motorways so will drive us to Swindon.