Why are there so many scared woman drivers ? Woman up and learn how to drive !

[unfeelingwife]

I've seen so many posts about scared women drivers.

What's that all about ? Why can't women drive confidently ? Is it because men are arseholes on the roads ? I know a few women in real life who won't drive on motorways or when it's dark etc.

Why ?? Why are there fewer men who are scared to drive ? Or is that just in my circle ? I drive everywhere, including long road trips to different countries, with my babies and I'm just not scared. I know women who just refuse to drive and their husbands drive them around....

Ive been in a few accidents, by the way. It hasn't put me off. Everyone is different of course, but is it men who've put women off driving ? With their shouting and insults/ road rage ?

I only get anxious if I have no where to park! Driving there is fine but no parking space 🙈

@LapinR0se

I don’t drive because I have zero spatial awareness and get panic attacks behind the wheel. That makes me very dangerous to other drivers. I have no idea if being a woman is related to the above.

I'm the same. I took 4 tests, failed them all cause I went to pieces. Have lived in South London for 20 years and I dont need to drive here. Don't get me wrong, its occasionally inconvenient and my DH does give me lifts from time to time. That said, I'm certainly not dependent on him for lifts to get anywhere.

Everyone has things that they are scared of, struggle with, fail to master surely.

I was confident, really enjoyed lessons, then I absolutely fell apart during test after test after test after test! In the last one I did something so bonkers dangerous that the examiner actually shrieked. My DP thinks I should get hypnotherapy to figure out what is going on; I think we should just stay living in a nice city with lovely public transport where I don't have to think about it and never ever have to take the bastard test again.

I am not a frightened person by nature. I am confident in my professional life and most assessments don't faze me. Practical driving tests just do something to my brain and I go to pieces.

I really don't think it's a gendered issue, OP (and I am usually the first to get huffy if women are "ooh I can't I'm just a girl, let me find a man to do this") I think some people just aren't drivers! My brother in law is the same as me- my sister told him just stop wasting money on the lessons in the end as she'd never let her children in the car with him behind the wheel even if he did ever pass. He practically cried with relief!

I always told myself that if an idiot like my ex-husband (who could barely finish school) could drive well, literally anyone could

I think it takes a lot of confidence to be able to say "I can't drive"

And people who are terrible at it should not be bloody pushed and pushed to do it anyway. There are a lot of shockingly bad drivers on the road. Far better people are honest and say "The world is a safer place if I'm not behind the wheel".

@JustLyra I agree

I drive on motorways, I drive on country rds etc. but I no longer drive at night, as my night vision is not what it was, due to age. I also cannot walk more than half a mile without a sit down due to rheumatoid arthritis deforming my ankle joint, I don't set off on a 3 mile walk, unless I know there is somewhere for me to sit within half a mile, I am not confident I could manage it, it is the same as my night driving. How ridiculous is it to berate people for not doing something, that doesn't affect anyone but themselves? Mind your own business, do what makes you happy and leave others to do the same.

Well golly for you for been so confident.

Why? Maybe like me, they have lost a DP through someone else's driving, and had the lives of their children, family and friends ruined.

Vehicles and their drivers can be killers. There's nothing to be blasé about. I still drive but all enjoyment has been sapped out of it. It makes you think differently and be very aware of things and how driving can go so wrong.

Woman Up. URGH!

Because I have failed my test a million times

Everyone has things that they are scared of, struggle with, fail to master surely.

Exactly. What a judgemental post. If people (women or men) don't feel comfortable driving, or just don't want to drive, that's their business. Do you want a medal or something OP?

I have read this thread. The way I see it is there are lots of great women drivers and the same goes for men. Equally there are bad ones and the same applies to men. How we feel when we are behind the wheel depends on how things are going in our relationships, work and many other factors which change on a daily basis. Unresolved issues from the past like our childhood that we are aware off may also indirectly interfere with our behaviour. Being aware is the key, not realizing where our issues come from is a problem. So we can work on that if we need to and improve ourselves if it is necessary to do so. Times have changed. Where I live in Surrey young men and women drive well. However there is a small minority who are reckless on the road and gamble, can be disrespectful and impatient. Society has changed with advent of the smart phone and social media. Making the generalization that all women are like this and all men are like that does not work. I judge people on a individual basis. Lots of good and bad out there. Taking responsibility for own actions is the way to go. Blaming others means being in denial and being afraid to examine ourselves. Being emotionally intelligent and making small changes to our personality empowers us and makes us a better person. Being out there on the road is like being in life in general. Observing others and their behaviour is what it is all about. If I see someone on a normal A road broken down and it is safe to stop in daylight I will do it. We generally get what we project. If I go out in a good frame of mind I meet other people like me. If I go out in a bad mood then I find people like that. For the me those that cannot drive for medical and other reasons I understand it. Being on the road is liberating and can change your life for the better. We are lucky to be able to it. As for the minority of people who make other peoples life a misery on the road. Ask yourselves this. Are they happy? Are they capable of in depth analysis and changing for the better or are they ultimately scared of looking at themselves deeply and making some positive changes that would benefit themselves and the others around them?

My sister in law is 59 and has never driven on a motorway in 30 years. She makes long convoluted journeys to avoid them adding literally hours to her journey. I'm afraid I find it quite pathetic. I love driving.

But you haven’t answered the point re spiders!!

I’m a confident driver. If someone drives aggressively behind me I’m perfectly willing to slow down… I enjoy driving and am happy to drive in bad weather and in the dark.

But I’m first out of any room which has been invaded by a daddy long legs - a creature that cannot possibly hurt me at all. Presumably that makes me pathetic? I need to learn how to deal with them but their flying motion makes me feel sick.

I think it must be your circles. All my women friends are confident drivers. I drive more than my husband and usually the main driver when we go places

I know someone who does this.

I don't understand why some people are scared of spiders and bugs.... but there we go!

Never been a nervous driver but I pay real money to avoid IKEA car parks 😂

I get what you mean OP but at the same time I’m glad the ones that are too scared to drive on motorways or further than local shops choose not to drive. The roads are already mental

ZOMBIE

So you'd prefer nervous, unconfident drivers who presumably don't feel safe to driving to be out on the roads making things potentially less safe for everyone around them?

Maybe some people know their limits and what is and isn't safe for them and those around them.

YANBU. I remember when a friend´s mum was saying to my mum how great her daughter and I were "they just get in their car and drive anywhere". I have driven in Britain and my friend in Spain (in each other´s countries) no problem whatsoever. My aunt was always fearful of motorways, I was always bemused by this. Was it because there were no motorways when she learned to drive? Part of my driving exam was motorway driving, it has no secrets for me. I only know one man who is like this, he has a licence but won´t drive. The other bashfuls are all women.

I pride myself in being good at parking (and I think my driving is pretty good too). I'm not scared at all. I don't know anyone else is, either, except my friend's husband who never drives anywhere even though I think he has a licence.

I agree OP.

If you're in a 40 and someone's doing 25 on a dry nice day, it's 100% always a female.

2 weeks ago i followed a driver along a 50mph doing 30mph, i followed them off a roundabout and she proceeded down the slip road to a 70mph A road and entered it at 25mph. I overtook instantly as there was a lorry coming and i didn't fancy him in the back of my car! I saw in my mirror the lorry having to overtake and then her disappear miles back. She was sat so close to the steering wheel and holding on for grim death. She was NOT safe to be on that road (or any?) and perhaps should considering a further driving course. Arguably more dangerous than speeding.

I'm only 5'1" and i was taught by parents and my driving instructor to sit as far away from the steering wheel as possible. i can't imagine the outcome of a bad crash sat as close as she was!