To send cat joke to friend who had elderly cat put to sleep 5 weeks ago

[dizzydizzydizzy]

I am in a WhatsApp group with 3 friends. We send each other cat jokes - cartoon type things that you might find on a birthday card. One of them who I am very close to has been very annoyed with my recently but I don't know why. (I have asked). She sent me a very angry text message last week and has generally given me the cold shoulder. The same person had her elderly cat put to sleep 5 weeks ago, after a long and happy life. She has messaged the group back to say not to send her cat jokes because they are too upsetting and she can't even walk down the cat food aisle in the supermarket without crying.

YABU = sending somebody a cat joke 5 weeks after the death of a cat is insensitive
YANBU = the upset is being used as a stick to beat me with and has more to do with her campaign against me than any genuine inability to cope.

I'm going to go against the grain here and say YANBU. It was a generic cat joke in a forum for exchanging jokes etc. I know that everyone is different but it was not a dead cat joke and I think she is unreasonable to be cross. For information I lost my beloved cat a few months ago....

Yabu

YABU. If she's hurt, she's hurt. No-one has to justify their feelings, and the heart feels what the heart feels. Whether it seems reasonable or not to someone else is immaterial. What matters is her feelings and pain. Having said that she should withdraw from the WhatsApp group until she's able to join in again.

You really need to ask ?
I lost my dog four years ago and I still miss him terribly and I still cry, if someone made a joke about him they wouldn't be a friend, some might say that I'm over sensitive, that's up to them, if you know that this woman is still hurting then don't make jokes, if you think that it's acceptable to joke about it then you're deliberately being goady, grow up and stop trying to justify yourself, it's unacceptable and there's nothing worse than saying to a person who is grieving, well it's only a cat, I'm not saying that you said that but that's how it comes across.

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo

saleorbouy
^YANBU. She's an adult and needs to get over her loss. There a bigger issues in many people's lives and they manage to carry on.
She sounds a bit over sensitive to me.^

Blimey. Hope you don't have pets. They're sentient beings and you bond with them. Unless you come from the Zouma school of thought

Cleansup....We've had a menagerie of animals over the years, one or our cats was knocked down and killed only last year outside the house. Of course we shed a tear had a burial and covered the grave with garden flowers and made a headstone, but quite honestly my young kids got over it and didn't fall to pieces.
I just think it's a bit much for her friend to pussy foot (sorry for the pun) around a grown adult 5 weeks later. Of course we get attached to pets and miss them when they're gone but seriously you have to get a bit of a grip as an adult.

YABU. You are being so insensitive about something that could so easily be avoided with a tiny bit of compassion. There’s only three of you in the chat. One person in the three has recently had a cat put to sleep and is upset about it. That only leaves two of you enjoying the jokes. Why don’t you understand that it’s no longer appropriate to send cartoon cat jokes to the one who has lost her cat? If the jokes are so hilarious that they are unmissable (!), send the other person the jokes directly.

Well it depends on what this "campaign" she has against you is all about. That perhaps has a bearing on whether her outburst is justified or not.

YADNBU

Unreasonable I think. The behaviour of the Zouma brothers may have triggered bad memories or pain, so even more reason not to.

YABU I'm not sensitive whatsoever, but when my cats died, I grieved as if they were close family. It was genuinely heart breaking. I would respect her wishes and send her a nice card. She's not in a great place right now and you could make it a little better for her, instead of worse.

YABU Why would you want to upset your friend by denying her grief?

@AKASammyScrounge

YABU Why would you want to upset your friend by denying her grief?

The OP says the friend hadn't mentioned no cat jokes before the OP sent the joke. The joke was a generic cat joke, not about the friend's cat. How is she denying her friend's grief if she didn't know it would upset the friend?

YABU