DF won't approve engagement...

[beesknees18]

Hi all

Bit of a back story - DF and I have been friends for 15 years. Two years ago her DP proposed to her after 1.5 years together - due to get married this October.

My DP and I have been together 8 years and have 2DC together, and have recently started discussing our engagement (no proposal yet, but things have been put on hold due to babies/careers/money).

I approached DF and said how DP has started asking me for ring ideas, and we were going to view some rings, just so DP got an idea of things that I didn't like and did like.

DF said she didn't want to hear about it until after she was married.

DP approached her recently and explained that he found a ring he thinks I'd love and wanted her opinion - DF refused to look at it and told him he needs to wait until she's married before even considering one. He then asked her what about December, as that's our anniversary month, and she told him she'd prefer it if there was a "cool down" period after her wedding.

DP has reluctantly told me what's happened, but I'm glad he has as it's made me question whether she is crossing a line or I am. I haven't seen the ring (he's spoken to my sister who is, in her words, "saying yes for me😂).

AIBU for feeling like DF is being a bit dramatic thinking only she can be engaged at the moment? DP wanted to propose this month but won't now because of her reaction, even though it would be 8 months until she got married and a good 2 years before we did!

I would understand if I was engaged and actually planning my wedding a week after hers but it's purely the proposal DP had approached her over!

Or should I tell DP to wait to propose until January 2023 so that I'm definitely not treading on anyones toes!

Thanks all! Sorry if it's confusing!

Congratulations. I hope DF pulls her head in now and acts like a real friend should. I could understand a little, though itd never occur to me to be anything but happy, if she'd asked you to wait till after her wedding in a couple of weeks time, but this is ridiculous. You have a wedding day, not a wedding year in which no one can celebrate for 8 months prior and several months after your wedding. That's crazily self centred behaviour.

What a beautiful thread. Congratulations 💕🍾🥂

Dear god, what on earth does it have to do with your friend when your DP proposes to you?

Tell him to propose on Monday, and you’ll go ring shopping together the weekend after. And yep, get married in September and arrange to be on honeymoon for her wedding.

Congratulations op! So very happy for you

Congratulations! Your dh-to-be nailed this situation just right! I like your ring very much! A triump occasion such as this really deserves an engagement announcement & photo in the social notice section of your local paper don't you think?

It’s such a shame that you can’t have girly plans together like going to wedding fairs or trying on dresses together etc
At least she’s shown her true colours I suppose

Oh congratulations OP, your ring is beautiful!
I would start planning, looking at venues, etc etc. and I wouldn’t include DF in this. Of course, you should tell her but tell your parents/ your DP’s parents first, relatives etc and then general announcement for others. I know she’s your friend but to be honest it’s a bit ridiculous that you put her on such a special place especially as she uses it in a not a good way .

Why are you friends with her?

Also who the hell had an ‘anniversary month’?

You both sound crackers.

@PostThenGhost

DF is nuts.

I’d be telling DP to propose when he likes and I’d be petty and book the wedding for September!
Batshit of her to dictate when your DP can propose. She’s not a great friend.

Just what I was going to say!

She's mad as a box of frogs. She should live her life and you live yours. You and dp should go ahead and get engaged and she can whistle.

She sounds a bit unhinged. Why would she not want to talk about it until after his/her wedding?

Ah, just caught up with the latest. Tell dp that all us MNers are giving him a round of applause! Well done dp!

Beautiful ring and many congratulations x

Congratulations OP, that ring is stunning! 🤩

best not upset her - leave her alone to get on with her wedding, you get on with hers.
And find better friends - she sounds tediously self obsessed and hard work.

Congratulations beesknees.
How lovely.

It’s beautiful! Congratulations OP!

Aaah this is lovely! Huge congratulations - and what a beautiful thought for the ring, it's truly gorgeous ❤️

Ps - I second a big engagement party now hahaha

She's a fecking froot loop!

Congratulations, what a beautiful sentiment using your grandmother's ring 🥰 you should take your DC and close family and elope before October ;)

Congratulations:)

A true friend would be happy for you as it doesnt take away from her limelight etc

Have you stayed friends as you are used to being friends? I mean if you really look at things now objectively are their not areas/things you’ve let drop or ignored as it would mean confrontation etc if you brought things up?

I dropped a long term friend a few years ago after realising I was making excuses and rationalising her bad/negative behaviour so I could avoid confrontation.

If she’s worth a friendship she’ll realise she’s being a ‘zilla and get over it.

Congratulations OP!

With regard to your question yanbu!! My sisters and I were all engaged the same year and got married within 5 months of eachother, my younger sisters were 1 month apart. We all just helped eachother. Your friend isn't a friend.

Your friend is being ridiculous!! Work to your own schedule OP and ignore her, please do not be dictated to by her. She is nuts.

Whoops - didn't read through to the end. What a beautiful ring, many congratulations. Enjoy your special time and don't give your "friend" another thought.

Batshit doesn't come close.

I think you have an ex friend on your hands.