Kids not meeting expectations

[followthenoise]

Feeling like we may be failing our DC5 and 7 (yr 1 and yr3) Both have received mid year reports indicating they are below expectations. This is despite us doing around 45 mins of homework /reading with them a day. Both are (early) summer born, and both DH and I are in professional roles with masters level qualifications. We try to foster learning in all activities / aim for a growth mindset, but they both appear to be falling behind. I'm not a pushy parent and would be happy with whatever they want to do, but I am at my wits end on how to support them. Eldest DC likely has ADHD and some sensory issues, but we're told this shouldn't impact her academically particularly , youngest seems fine (apart from academics!). School feedback is that need to write more at home, need to improve - but it seems beyond them when I sit down and do it with them!

I’m interested to hear responses here as we are literally in the same boat with ours. Can’t help getting a sinking feeling as I’m not sure what else we can do.

45 minutes a day is a lot for year 1 isn't it? are the school giving extra support?

That sounds an awful lot for a small child. Down time is massively needed!

They are 5 and 7?
45 minutes per day of homework sounds far too much, they’re little children.

Their performance at this age is unlikely to affect their future qualifications.

What sort of expectations are they not meeting? Can you detail? I have a Year 1 myself and might be able to reassure although of course all kids different. 45 mins is huge at that age. I do 10 mins of maths and a topic of his choice or writing in the morning and spouse does 10 mins of reading in the evening which is 20 mins. You are doing more than double that daily?

Maybe they're just late bloomers, OP? Or maybe the lockdowns have affected them quite heavily, especially if you were both trying to wfh during those periods alongside the home schooling.

They're still very young so I wouldn't be too concerned about it just yet. It could be that they turn out not to be very academic, and if they don't, that's OK - they can still lead happy, fulfilled and meaningful lives, and I'm sure that that's what you want for them really? Or you might find that everything suddenly falls into place for them in a year or so and they start doing really well.

I would try not to overthink it for now. I'm sure that you're doing your best as parents and that they're doing their best as well. Just follow the school's advice.

And definitely pursue that adhd diagnosis for your ds. It runs in families so don't neglect the possibility that dd might have it as well - it presents differently in girls. If they do have adhd, that could certainly be holding them back academically, and even if it isn't, it will make life so much easier if it is recognised and treated early!

I feel the same. One of my kids does fine at school but the other - reception age summer born - is already quite behind according to her teacher. I try to read and write with her but she’s just not interested and will flat out refuse to engage. And when she does engage she can’t seem to cope with more than 5 mins. So it sounds like you’re doing much better than me if you’re getting them to do 45 mins a day! I loved school and did very well and so it’s hard to know how to approach things with a child who seems to have quite a different attitude and aptitude for it. And whether i should be doing more.

Perhaps approach it from a different direction. Find out why they need to practise their writing. Is it because they have no stamina? Children have spent the best part of two years doing alot of work on computers and not taking part in activities that build up the finger muscles required to write at length.

Make salt dough so they can exercise their fingers manipulating it, perhaps make letters out of it.

Draw some squiggly lines on paper and have them practise using scissors to cut out. Use different materials such as cereal box cardboard which requires more force to cut.

Instead of writing on normal paper buy a roll of lining paper so they can lay on the floor and draw and colour etc.

Honestly being in this position where reports have fluctuated over the years I would do a little at home and accept them for what they are and try not to worry. They are both very young, 45 mins homework a day at home is excessive for their age and I don't believe would make a difference compared to a shorter focused spell. They could improve massively in their abilities to reach 'expectations' (I do have an issue with this as everyone has something to offer and school is quite narrowly focused on what is considered appropriate achievements).

Firstly they are 5 and 7 which is so young. I think many children will be under average norms due to covid and school disruptions. I hate that some primary schools are so pushy. IF you want to do stuff at home make it fun - practise writing letters in sand, on chalkboards, on white board sheets. Orchard do some great play based learning games.

If all else fails mine love an educational app. Personally I love pocket phonics for learning letters. Squeebles apps are another favourite. BBC bitesize can have some fun stuff.

ADHD not impacting academically?! Who the heckers told you that?? It also often coexists with other learning difficulties such as dyslexia.

Primaries can be really shit at screening for these sorts of things. My DD slipped through right till year 6 being told she needed to do more at home . Nope.

Please just play with them/let them play by themselves rather than so much homework.

and if eldest has adhd it will impact her learning unless its very mild and they are very creative with her learning - lots of active or interactive learning

Did you just read the reports or did the teacher talk you though them? Sometimes the reports can be a little misleading in the sense that yes a child can be below average but they have made progress from where they were, if that makes sense.

Wow, 45 minutes...my 8 & 9 year olds don't do anywhere near that, reading everyday yes, but I don't push them to do anything else outside of school hours although by choice they do a lot of writing and drawing for pleasure.

Have either of them actually had a full academic year at school? My 8 year olds last full year was reception so I wouldn't be overly concerned yet. Don't make it a big deal, and 45 minutes homework a day is way too much

Thanks all - reassuring to know - I was a massive overachiever which isn't helping, I just can't quite get my head around just not meeting the basics - when you're right I know that others in both classes don't do anything much re homework. Am completely second guessing myself on what we're doing wrong at home - we both work but we also really focused on home learning and DC2 only missed just over a half term.

We try to be quite cunning with the 45 mins - it may be a family game which involves writing, drawing in blackboard, maths or reading programmes, writing a birthday list.

I think with both pace is a problem l, so will focus on some of the muscle building stuff. DC2 seems to be OK at maths (reading and writing are a challenge), but DC1 is behind in maths, English and reading.

Is the report assessing them against end of year expectations? My DS’s school does this and I don’t fully understand why, very few if any children will be meeting the end of year expectations at this point of the year, so I’d far rather they said “on track for this point of the school year”, rather than a fairly demoralising “not yet meeting expectations” in October and March 🙄

It's really hard not to focus on doing the homework though - it's the feedback I get from their teachers every time I see them - X needs to practice Y more.

@Robostripes

Is the report assessing them against end of year expectations? My DS’s school does this and I don’t fully understand why, very few if any children will be meeting the end of year expectations at this point of the year, so I’d far rather they said “on track for this point of the school year”, rather than a fairly demoralising “not yet meeting expectations” in October and March 🙄

This. There is still half an academic year to go! Where were they last year?

Are the only issues writing?
Could you have them write a shopping list and take them to the shops to buy what is on it (it will be at least 80% chocolate), 🤣
You could write messages to each other in an invisible ink pen.

Some magazines have writing activities in which are quite fun and they won't feel school like.
You can get a handwriting book and do a page daily if issues with handwriting. Copying the sentences / words will help build up writing as well as improve handwriting.

Fun schooling books on amazon maybe?

Good question @Robostripes I will ask, but just from why my DC say/ I see on Whatsapp they aren't at the level of others. DC2 is very sad he is the only one in his class still on yellow book band.

Summer borns often struggle in the early years of primary school. I'd focus on building self esteem and confidence for your DC- with the best will in the world, kids do know when they've been identified as less able or underachieving and what you don't want is for them to decide they don't like reading/writing/maths because they don't feel like they're 'good' at them. They'll catch up for the most part later on as long as they don't become disengaged.

Please don’t write them off at such a young age, I remember lots of the seemingly less academic kids thriving and out achieving their peers as they got older.

@SkipThisStep yes we do lots of magazines, wipeabble books, reward charts etc. it's a constant struggle to keep it fresh and them motivated (and DH is not massively imaginative in this area !)

I had exactly this with my (late July born) son. All throughout primary school I heard the words ‘struggles’, ‘doesn’t keep up’, ‘needs to do more at home’ etc. He did have glue ear, which accounted for some of this, but even after this was treated he was always significantly behind at school. This just changed miraculously when he was about 13/14 and he suddenly seemed to ‘get’ education. He’s now doing really well at a top university. No one would ever have predicted it from his performance age 7. I remember the anguish of those early years though and the desperation to help in whatever way possible. You may find it just sorts itself out naturally so try not to worry too much (easier said than done I know).