To move because dh inherited property?

[bowmejen3]

So I'm born and bred in Hackney. Met my husband here who is originally from south Manchester in one of the largest council estates In Europe apparently.

We've been married 10 years and have two children. (4 and 2 months)

We rent privately and was looking forward to getting on the shared ownership scheme this year! 4 year old settled in nursery waiting for reception etc! However DH has been very stressed and with rising living costs. We have not got much to spare each month after saving for our deposit.

Now here is my aibu.
Dh father recently died and left his house (ex council but bought) to dh. It has no mortgage left.

Dh thinks this is the best thing ever as we could move there (3 bed semi detached, big garden, driveway, extra room for washing etc)
Be mortgage free, near his family and have essentially more disposable income to enjoy life, holidays, other ventures etc.

I know I know it sounds perfect on paper... but I always envisioned raising my children in London but dh claims we are actually being selfish because potentially they will never be able to afford to live near us in the future and we may only ever own 25 percent of a flat!
And the area he is from has not got a great reputation...

I believe he could sell the house for around £240,000 (from Rightmove) and put it down for a deposit on a house in London!

Dh thinks I'm being ridiculous to want to not be mortgage free just for the sake of "London" and being snobby towards his childhood area? (Which I'm not)

Aibu?

Ooh interesting….I was raised in south Manchester, it’s a lovely, lovely place but to be honest it is very expensive now in the nice areas. But still cheaper than London.

I lived in London for about 5 years in the twenties, was fine, I’ve never been a big London lover, but once I had DD we were desperate to leave. We moved to Stockton Heath, Warrington (which you mentioned) and we absolutely love it. Best thing we never did. DH goes to London now and again with work, it’s 1 hour 45 mins on the train. He can get door to door from our house to the office in just iver 2 hours. We have frequent fast trains to Manchester and Liverpool, loads of amazing towns and villages plus the Lake District, the coast, the Peak District, north wales etc all within an hours drive.

So clearly I’m amongst the converted, but I personally wouldn’t move to wythenshawe, sorry. I think you should sell it and use it as a deposit for another house in a location that suits you. That could be anywhere really but given you have family in Manchester and Birmingham it does make sense to look around Manchester.

I’d imagine somewhere like Chorlton or Didsbury would suit you as it’s got a similar vibe to parts of London and it’s so close to the city centre. The suburbs might be a step too far for you at this stage.

When you come up at Easter why don’t you visit different areas such as Altrincham, cheadle, didsbury etc and maybe do some day trips to the countryside, beach etc.

Honestly I really noticed the weather for a year after I moved back up but now I don’t really notice it that much. It does rain a lot but you get used to it!

@StupidAdvice

Team DH here so long as the area is ok for raising kids

It isn't.

What team are you on now?

I know plenty of people who have raised their kids in wythenshawe and they are absolutely lovely, well rounded kids.

Don't touch Wythenshaw with a barge pole. Sell house and move somewhere nicer in Manchester. However, it is highly unlikely you will get 240 for house in that area. Why not choose nice area and out down big deposit?

I think you need to go right back to the drawing board, ignoring the inheritance.

Together, discuss and make a list of what you want together in your lives for the longer term Write down your priorities for yourselves and/ or your children over time. What makes your life work together. Why had you both always thought in terms of London until the inheritance came along? What does London give you that you like? Don't Like? What are non negotiables for you both in what you want from your home, the area that you live in? (eg Garden; not on busy road; near shops; good transport links. minimum 3 bedrooms; space for a "study"; a conservatory; near to pubs etc; countryside etc etc ie whatever floats your boat/whatever is not so important to you!!

Once you have done that then draw up the pros and cons of moving up to the inherited house/area. Then compare that to the a) non negotiables in your original list; the things that you like/dont like about London. The gains? The disadvantages?.

By doing that you will be drawing together the two options and how each might meet/not meet your overall plans/preferences for your lives as a couple over the long term. Dont make the decision based purely on the fact you have had an inheritance!

Good luck

£240k will buy you one room in London, whereas you have a mortgage free house. Are you that mad and selfish? London is not the be all and end all. You can visit with your children, they can have a safe place to play, and be near family... My advice is to get over yourself and move. As for not a great area, that is insulting to your partner, that is where he comes from. You are a snob and not very nice!!

There'll obviously need to be a compromise as one of you wants to move to Manchester and the other wants to live in London

What is most important to you both, home ownership or being closer to family?

I personally would look into selling the Manchester house and relocating nearer to both families as a compromise

You need to get on the housing ladder, shared ownership will never lead to owning the house outright. You will own a percentage of the house but be liable for 100% of the costs, that's crap. Also, if you own 25% and then move you'll only get 25% of what the house has gone up in value, again not great

You could get a small mortgage and buy a hell of a house in the midlands with over £200k to put down. It would be village life for me, not big, loud dirty cities

I love London but we moved (from Hackney) when our kids were just about to start school. Yes there is lots to do at the weekends and holidays but that is where it ends.

Our biggest reason for leaving was the schools the 3 in our catchment area had a minimum of 76% of children not speaking English as a first language as well has having very poor results.
Children grow up far too fast in London, our nieces and nephews are all the same age as my kids and they live in a different world that I am so glad my kids are not part of.
I agree, sell the house and buy in a nicer area anywhere but London!

I understand you ! I always thought I would bring my kids up in london … but didn’t work out as Family circumstances changed and DH keen to move somehwere we would be less stressed financially.

It annoys me that people presume london is the worst and we must be happier ti move . But that does show that people from our new city think their place is the best, just as I did in london. And it means the kids will have stress free parents and be happy with their new life - but always have friends to visit in london for holidays

Ultimately - you won’t know if you don’t give it a go. Visit , stay, see what’s good in the area, for kids, for you. Maybe go up for a year if you can get job transfers and decide if you want to move permanently

There’s a lot it benefit from moving and you will only get the benefit once you try it

Now we are away from london and the kids are older, I am so grateful we have a better and healthier quality of life - fresh air, green space, gardens , countryside to explore with our dog and our bikes

No way would I go back now

I like Manchester as a city but personally I think you have to factor in other things if you have jobs and friends- I personally would sell it and look at using some of the money as a very big deposit on a 50% part buy somewhere else In london be that somewhere like Kingston or another ‘nicer’ bit of Manchester and have a small mortgage.

Rent out the Manchester house, live in London, use the rent money to make things a bit easier day to day for you.

I'm Hackney born and bred too but it would no longer be my choice to raise a family there despite it's trendy reputation. However, I wouldn't want to move to the house in Manchester either. My choice would be to sell it, think about where you would both like to settle and raise your family and use the cash as a deposit with a mortgage which might be large/ small or nil depending on your chosen location.

I would not move to Wythenshaw!!!!!
Sell the house and use it towards a new house in a nicer part of Manchester.
It’s a great city and you would get a lot more bang for your buck there.
Also, that way you both compromise.

I'm with your dh but then again, I'm another who wouldn't live in London if I was paid to. A bigger house, garden, no debt?? It's a no brainer to me. Sounds fabulous.

having lived on large estates in London with children would not choose to live on one anywhere if I did not have to, especially if a troubled estate. Looks like compromise is needed based on jobs, expectations and best for children too. Children are at the right age to move. Worst time is when they are older and settled in schools with friends. Speaking from experience.

I live near where you were brought up, have done for decades. Come from London area. My DD was at uni in Manchester and lived in Wythenshawe amongst other places. I feel your pain, but if I moved out of London Manchester would be top of my list. And I hate change. But as an older person one thing I regret is not trying out living in different places. And I just loved Manchester. It has such a vibrant personality with all the students, so cool shops etc. It doesn't seem to be so developed and wrecked by overseas investment. London just becoming so "mono". Look at Dalston Junction terrible development all local character eliminated. I don't remember Wythenshawe being that run down actually. Anyway just my point of view. There's good train link between the 2 cities for days out. Your children are still young enough to not to feel too wrenched.

I just dont understand why anyone would want a hefty mortgage in a small place over mortgage or nearly mortgage free in a bigger place