To move because dh inherited property?

[bowmejen3]

So I'm born and bred in Hackney. Met my husband here who is originally from south Manchester in one of the largest council estates In Europe apparently.

We've been married 10 years and have two children. (4 and 2 months)

We rent privately and was looking forward to getting on the shared ownership scheme this year! 4 year old settled in nursery waiting for reception etc! However DH has been very stressed and with rising living costs. We have not got much to spare each month after saving for our deposit.

Now here is my aibu.
Dh father recently died and left his house (ex council but bought) to dh. It has no mortgage left.

Dh thinks this is the best thing ever as we could move there (3 bed semi detached, big garden, driveway, extra room for washing etc)
Be mortgage free, near his family and have essentially more disposable income to enjoy life, holidays, other ventures etc.

I know I know it sounds perfect on paper... but I always envisioned raising my children in London but dh claims we are actually being selfish because potentially they will never be able to afford to live near us in the future and we may only ever own 25 percent of a flat!
And the area he is from has not got a great reputation...

I believe he could sell the house for around £240,000 (from Rightmove) and put it down for a deposit on a house in London!

Dh thinks I'm being ridiculous to want to not be mortgage free just for the sake of "London" and being snobby towards his childhood area? (Which I'm not)

Aibu?

With a £200k plus deposit you've a shot at owning in London, I don't think that will be the case in a few short years. Do it whilst you can.

I really agree with this. Financially you are very lucky to be in this position, and most Londoners at your stage of life would be bowled over by the good fortune of having a quarter-million deposit drop into their laps. It's a massive opportunity.

Do not move!! Sell it and invest in London

What's your point?

The population of London is about 9 million, and the population of Manchester is about half a million.

I'm not sure why you seem so...angry?

I've made my point across several posts. If you are unable to understand it, there's nothing more I can say. I wish you a good night.

Btw that link referred to the whole of the north west as one region (not just Manchester).

But anyway. The Hackney Gazette article is a good example of the reality of life in the (not small) non gentrified parts of Hackney.

Hopefully the information might be of help to the OP. It should reassure her, if she does decide to make the move to Manchester.

Depending on her top priority (proximity to her or DH's family, budget, or if she is (as seems) particularly keen to find somewhere with low violent crime rates, she might decide neither London nor Manchester is right for her.

Living without a mortgage gives you much more breathing room. Try living in the inherited house for a year or two, then make up your mind. Shared ownership is a scam. London is world class city; only New York, Boston, Chicago, and San Francisco are the equal on my side of the pond. Being able to visit occasionally is enough for most purposes.

I was also born & bred In Hackney and I had the childhood that you described and I lived right next to Victoria Park. It was awesome! But it wasn't all roses. You had to be street wise, you never could walk with your face on the ground. People would think you were scared. You were scared!! Gangs fighting one another, stabbing and shooting.

However, I left London as soon as I was 21. I have children of my own now and live in Surrey. Its literally a whole different life.
I have no idea what Manchester is like though.

A friend said to me once "once you leave London, its hard to move back as its so very expensive" she's not wrong. Id never move back though.

Don't know why anyone who was from that area would want to move back and bring their kids up there. You won't find many people who've been brought up there who can afford to move out of the area still living there. I'm from the north, but moved to London when I was a teen. I would much prefer to live in London. Wouldn't live in that area of Manchester if you paid me.

@CharlotteRose90

I’m team dh and you are being snobby with what you said about his area in the first place. Im In Manchester and I’d pick here any day over London living especially for kids . There’s more for kids to do and less knife and gun crime here. Why on earth would you want to spend the rest of your life paying for a house that wouldn’t be yours when you have one mortgage free.

Absolutely untrue that there's more for kids to do in Manchester than London. I've been a kid in both places and also brought up a kid in London and that's so untrue. Also there's plenty of crime in certain areas of Manchester. There are safer areas and bad areas in both places.

@JTHOM

If you can work from anywhere, compromise. The exact mid point between London and Manchester is Coventry. Some of it's neighbouring towns e.g. Rugby, are lovely, some lovely properties, at a more competitive price than London.

When I grew up it was known as Drugby

It’s pretty rough…

@SnozPoz

Some very bigoted anti London sentiment here! Anyone would think Manchester was crime free! An anti knife crime campaign was launched in Manchester just yesterday! Ffs! They are both great cities and kids can have a fantastic childhood in both places. I think you have to ask DH why he moved to London and was happy to settle there? I don't think it's fair to say it's selfish to stay in London because he was happy to live there before his inheritance. You don't mention the job situation which clearly has to be a factor, but I can see the draw of living mortgage free tbh. The suggestion of selling the property and finding an affordable alternative somewhere you'd both be happy seems to be the compromise.. but some soul searching and calm conversation needs to be had between you both. Did he know you've always wanted to bring the kids up in London? Did he always want to go back to Manchester deep down? What's the deal breaker for you both? Good luck

I agree with this about people talking about the crime. Also, taking away the gun and knife stats and looking at general violence, I can say this - very rarely have I seen trouble/fights kicking off in London on a night out. I Manchester and some of the surrounding areas it's almost standard that you're going to see something kicking off. Being born and raised in the north and still have a lot of family living there and moving to London when I was a teen, I've spent time in both places over the years. Low level violence (fights on nights out etc), which more people are likely to experience than knife and gun crime, is more prevalent in Manchester than London from what I've seen. Maybe the stars tell a different story, I don't know, but that's my personal experience.

*stats

@PaddleBoardingMomma there’s so much to do in other places too. I’ve been brought up in another city and have never been bored either.

Areas aside (and the bigoted, racist sentiment on this thread about Hackney…), I would not be moving to the inherited house. If you wouldn’t choose to buy that particular house in that particular area, then I don’t see why you should have to live in it just because your husband wants to relive his childhood. It’s unimaginative, self serving, and prioritises his natal family over the family he has made with you. Hard no.

@MyAnacondaMight

Areas aside (and the bigoted, racist sentiment on this thread about Hackney…), I would not be moving to the inherited house. If you wouldn’t choose to buy that particular house in that particular area, then I don’t see why you should have to live in it just because your husband wants to relive his childhood. It’s unimaginative, self serving, and prioritises his natal family over the family he has made with you. Hard no.

It also means they have no rent/mortgage etc and can afford to do nice things with their children they currently can't afford. It'd benefit all of their lives...

[quote RussianSpy101]@Londoncallingme but there are lots of opportunity and high expectations elsewhere too.
Why do you assume everyone who doesn’t want to live in London is jealous of those who do?

I have a much, much better lifestyle than the few schoolmates of mine who have ended up in London and as an extension of that, our children have much better opportunities because we can afford them. There’s another thread running at the moment of a woman mid 30s still in a house share in london. At mid 30s!! That is absolutely mental to me. We’ve got 2 DC in private school at a similar age to her and our 3rd child starts next year and we own a 5 bed detached house with a really small mortgage. DD has sport lessons at an amazing facility that GB athletes train at. I really don’t see how our life would be in anyway enriched by living in London. We certainly wouldn’t have 4/5 holidays abroad a year like we do now.[/quote]
You really think that the only difference between you and the poster in a house share in her thirties is the part of the country you choose to live in? Don’t be ridiculous. And stop boasting.

@HaveringWavering well I’m married and I assume she isn’t if she’s in a house share. Teachers in my city don’t live in house shares!

@HaveringWavering But yeah, shared ownership for 25% of a flat or owning a house are not comparable are they for OP.

I don’t see why London is the only place your children can have lots of opportunities? It’s a ridiculous thing to say.

@bowmejen3

Oh yes to answer questions! DH is a area manager for a well known food store. I am currently not in work but I am a clinical psychologist

Yes, but how does that translate to life outside London? Could/would DH move with the same company? Would he lose a London weighting? Are the actually better work prospects in retail management in the North (eg Asda’s HQ is in Leeds I think?).

Are you planning to work privately or within the NHS, or a bit of both? Do you have academic research interests that need a good university nearby? (I have several psychologist friends who have gone down different routes professionally. One moved away from Manchester for academic reasons, another has a great practice working privately with burnt out rich bankers, a third is in the NHS (CAMHS) and teaches in a school on the side, another works in the NHS in a London hospital).

I'm with DH in this, although I would sell the house and get one in a nicer area nearby, even if it meant a small mortgage. I moved out of London and thank god I did. All my London born family did the same and we live in nice safe areas. I couldn't bear the thought of DS being sucked into knife crime and gangs which would have happened if we had stayed in the area I was born. To live in London and for it to be a success you need to have an awful lot of money.

As a fellow Hackney resident I wouldn’t move out of Hackney, I certainly wouldn’t move to Manchester.

It also means they have no rent/mortgage etc and can afford to do nice things with their children they currently can't afford. It'd benefit all of their lives...

So do that in one of the 300+ other houses in greater Manchester currently available in that price range, if that indeed is a priority for the family. Which it wasn’t until this particular house came up…

£240k would give you a 50-60% deposit on a very nice house with garden in Urmston, Sale, Altrincham, Chorlton, Withington, Didsbury, Heaton Moor, Cheadle, Lymm…all green leafy suburbs with independent high streets and good schools with selective grammars in Trafford.

I personally wouldn’t move to Wythenshawe. It’s got lots of multigenerational families so it could be hard to integrate. I had my eldest at Wythenshawe hospital which is a massive cardiac centre too. If you work in the NHS there’s loads of opportunities - huge teaching hospitals and specialist provision like Christie’s

My family who moved to London and brought up kids there are mostly now moving back north and their kids have moved north to university and settled very happily.

If you don’t like Manchester then Sheffield or Leeds would be good places to consider.

Also with the BBC moving to Manchester there’s loads of displaced London media people in those suburbs I mentioned.

@MyAnacondaMight

*It also means they have no rent/mortgage etc and can afford to do nice things with their children they currently can't afford. It'd benefit all of their lives...*

So do that in one of the 300+ other houses in greater Manchester currently available in that price range, if that indeed is a priority for the family. Which it wasn’t until this particular house came up…

She wants her kids to grow up in London... you're arguing against something nobody else is discussing.

Almost everyone has said to sell the house and buy elsewhere...

I'm not anti London, I've never lived there so I'm not going to bash it.

I know Wythenshawe, I wouldn't raise my kids there. If the house is towards gatley & northenden then it won't be near the tram which I believe is near the civic center so kids wouldn't be able to travel easily other than by bus. If you've pictured your life with London transport links then don't move there!

Areas around Wythenshawe are great for raising families. Heald Green is so close, train station and is a lovely village but too small for me personally. Cheadle is lovely. Altrincham has both the tram and train to Manchester, train to Chester & Stockport. Altrincham (voted Times best place to live in the whole country in 2020) also has some of the best schools in the country and you could get a fully done up 3 bed terrace for about £450000 with a 10 minute walk to the ice rink, cinema, tram/train station & town centre. Sale is really nice, great schools and it is having loads of money invested in it at the moment but not as close to green spaces as Altrincham and similar house prices. Chester is also nice and I would consider moving there for a slightly cheaper house but not as good transport links. You mentioned Crewe, don't move to Crewe, most of it is similar to Wythenshawe.

Spend some time in the various areas while you're staying in Wythenshawe for Easter. But, if you want to live in London and can't see yourself happy outside of London then don't do it!

What's bizarre about this whole thread, is that people are talking about two huge cities as if they were each a totally homogenous area.

Both London and Manchester have every type of area you can imagine in them. The posh bits, the middle class bits, the cramped bit, the open bits, the dodgy areas, the almost crime free areas.

"I lived in Manchester/London, so I know..." doesn't really make sense. Maybe that poster lived in the 'worst'/'best' area. Maybe they love bustle, maybe they love suburbia. The personal tales are of no use at all. Neither city is entirely one characteristic.

The only thing you can guarantee is that one has the better weather, and in one you're likely to find cheaper housing than in the other. The rest depends entirely on which bit of the city and its surrounds that you live in.