Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move because dh inherited property?

641 replies

bowmejen3 · 11/02/2022 12:46

So I'm born and bred in Hackney. Met my husband here who is originally from south Manchester in one of the largest council estates In Europe apparently.

We've been married 10 years and have two children. (4 and 2 months)

We rent privately and was looking forward to getting on the shared ownership scheme this year! 4 year old settled in nursery waiting for reception etc! However DH has been very stressed and with rising living costs. We have not got much to spare each month after saving for our deposit.

Now here is my aibu.
Dh father recently died and left his house (ex council but bought) to dh. It has no mortgage left.

Dh thinks this is the best thing ever as we could move there (3 bed semi detached, big garden, driveway, extra room for washing etc)
Be mortgage free, near his family and have essentially more disposable income to enjoy life, holidays, other ventures etc.

I know I know it sounds perfect on paper... but I always envisioned raising my children in London but dh claims we are actually being selfish because potentially they will never be able to afford to live near us in the future and we may only ever own 25 percent of a flat!
And the area he is from has not got a great reputation...

I believe he could sell the house for around £240,000 (from Rightmove) and put it down for a deposit on a house in London!

Dh thinks I'm being ridiculous to want to not be mortgage free just for the sake of "London" and being snobby towards his childhood area? (Which I'm not)

Aibu?

OP posts:
Inexpertjuggler · 12/02/2022 17:30

There’s been massive investment In wythenshawe and it has a strong community feel- generations of same families live there. It’s on the tram route, and it borders posher areas. Hale I think? It’s close to the airport too. Bear in mind, OH may be in a place now that being close to his roots is a massive comfort to him. I’d say give it a go, definitely. Manchester is a fantastic city, with lots of leafy suburbs, if living in this particular house doesn’t turn out to suit you.

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 12/02/2022 17:35

@TatianaBis

To compare provincial museums with the size and range of museums and galleries in London has is absurd. There is no comparison. Ditto theatre/dance/music.
That's a very parochial view.

I live in London and go to the theatre a lot. Quite often twice a week, occasionally three times. Obviously I mostly go in London because it's convenient but I also travel to other cities to see shows not available in London. The London theatre scene is overrun by juke box musicals aimed at tourists so sometimes going further afield is the way to see less mainstream plays. Manchester is particularly good for this (as is Sheffield).

Dfghy678 · 12/02/2022 17:35

I am from the countryside near Wigan, half an hour away from Manchester. I can understand your hesitation. Those estates do not have a good reputation, although they aren't as bad as people believe. What I would suggest though, is looking at what you could get just outside of Manchester for that money if you were to sell. For that kind of deposit and a very small mortgage you could be set up very well in an area which is much nicer than Manchester and London.

LittleMissMe99 · 12/02/2022 17:38

I agree with your husband

Mollymoostoo · 12/02/2022 17:41

@bowmejen3

So I'm born and bred in Hackney. Met my husband here who is originally from south Manchester in one of the largest council estates In Europe apparently.

We've been married 10 years and have two children. (4 and 2 months)

We rent privately and was looking forward to getting on the shared ownership scheme this year! 4 year old settled in nursery waiting for reception etc! However DH has been very stressed and with rising living costs. We have not got much to spare each month after saving for our deposit.

Now here is my aibu.
Dh father recently died and left his house (ex council but bought) to dh. It has no mortgage left.

Dh thinks this is the best thing ever as we could move there (3 bed semi detached, big garden, driveway, extra room for washing etc)
Be mortgage free, near his family and have essentially more disposable income to enjoy life, holidays, other ventures etc.

I know I know it sounds perfect on paper... but I always envisioned raising my children in London but dh claims we are actually being selfish because potentially they will never be able to afford to live near us in the future and we may only ever own 25 percent of a flat!
And the area he is from has not got a great reputation...

I believe he could sell the house for around £240,000 (from Rightmove) and put it down for a deposit on a house in London!

Dh thinks I'm being ridiculous to want to not be mortgage free just for the sake of "London" and being snobby towards his childhood area? (Which I'm not)

Aibu?

240000 for a house on a council estate in Manchester? I don't think so.
TatianaBis · 12/02/2022 17:49

@Everydaydayisaschoolday

That's a very parochial view

Is it? Or is it another Londoner's view who has also travelled outside London to see good productions, but who's disappointed by provincial theatres with unexciting line ups & one size fits all tours. Not everywhere is a Chichester or Stratford upon Avon. Wasn't even counting musicals as I don't like'em.

t0nim92 · 12/02/2022 17:51

I personally wouldn’t consider Northernden a rough area of Manchester. Especially taking places like Salford, Gorton or Harpurhey into consideration.

The houses are quite nice there and would be lovely to raise a family in. There’s the big farm/park/cafe/botanical centre down the road too which is really nice and often has different events on.

If you don’t want to move, I’m sure houses in that area are currently being put up for rent at around £1200+. Maybe consider that?

FlatWhiteFriday · 12/02/2022 17:52

I’ve not read the entire thread, but I grew up in the very same area (Benchill). Some of wythenshawe is okay but I left almost 6/7 years ago and I miss the city (we now live in rural countryside in the south) but I would never ever move back. Not ever. I am a huge advocate for home and all it has to offer and my understanding is ‘they’ (developers/council) have dramatically improved lots of areas but I just wouldn’t want my youngest growing up there.

I would recommend N Wales, Chester, or even Altrincham, Bramhall etc if you wanted to stay in Manchester.

Loti92 · 12/02/2022 18:01

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Mumontour85 · 12/02/2022 18:09

You've got the offer of an easier, better and more affordable life literally on a plate, and you're not sure because you are worried that the crime stats are so similar to where you are now?

Personally, I think you're bonkers. Imagine what you could save living mortgage/ rent free for a few years?! Imagine living with yours and your DHs families close by?! Nothing is forever, use this opportunity as a stepping stone!

I think you'll miss out on a huge increase in the quality of life if you don't take this offer tbh!

I think it's awesome that you were alone on public transport at 13 and visiting museums every weekend... but do you really think teens these days are safe travelling alone or spending their weekend exploring their culture?! I dont... 🤣🤣

Bumpy23 · 12/02/2022 18:14

I don't think either of you are bu. You need decide what you both want. It's important to consider your children.....but they may grow up and move to Australia or something!!

Arnia · 12/02/2022 18:20

I've lived in both Manchester and London and wouldn't want to raise a child in either but would chose london if I had to pick. Personally I'd sell the house and move somewhere nicer than either manc or london. Definitely don't raise your DC on a dodgy Manchester estate - I lived in one of those and it was bloody grim!

Bogasphodel · 12/02/2022 18:21

It won’t be 240k if he sells as he may have to pay Capital Gains Tax……

ReuT3 · 12/02/2022 18:24

Hi, I’m m not from Manchester or London. To me both cities are big places with bad areas. What I’ve learnt about bad areas is they sometimes get nice again one way or another. Being in a home you own means you wont have to move out if it’s gentrified. The area you are trying to own in London may grow int a bad area eventually, you never know. Things you can do to help keep the area nice is get involved in the community. I know a guy who worked all over England and would take an evening off to do voluntary work. This could be to help the community with clubs which give children something to look forwards to and improves their concentration at school as they practice focus in their passions. If you find yourself moving without a choice at least make it worth your while as change comes to everyone. If you don’t mind me asking what made your partner move to London all the way from home where his family is? Was he really ok with that? He may have been reluctant to move away from his home too. I can understand you don’t want to go but be sure you have everything in order so that you can both see whats best regardless of where you live in the end.

greyeyedgirl · 12/02/2022 18:29

Wow. You think hackney is better than Manchester ! It’s not Knightsbridge is it! Having lived in both - Manchester hands down to raise a family. You need to think big picture here. Mortgage free with the opportunity to live an amazing life creating fabulous family experiences together. Or struggle your whole life in London living a scrape by type of existence. You have been gifted what most other people strive for their whole life. Grab the chance. Worst case. Sell the house ina few years and move back to London. You’d still be better off than now

Fluffmum · 12/02/2022 18:29

Move and thank your lucky stars you won’t have a mortgage.

TatianaBis · 12/02/2022 18:31

Sell the house ina few years and move back to London. You’d still be better off than now

Paying a mortgage isn't a 'scrape by type of existence'.

London prices rise higher and faster than the rest of the country. Once you step off the London ladder you tend to have to go back at a lower rung.

Repecka · 12/02/2022 18:33

I agree with your husband.
London is overrated for so many reasons.
What’s the worse that happens? You move….don’t like it…sell up and have money to put a large deposit down on a house in London.

Pliudev · 12/02/2022 18:34

I don't think considering how your DCs will get on the property ladder is relevant. I'm imagining they are quite young and anything can happen before they start looking for a home. The point to consider now, as far as they are concerned, is schools. I have no idea what schools are like in S Manchester but you need to look very carefully at them. Certainly if you were to sell and move nearer Cheshire there are some excellent schools in that area. The other thing is work. Are there opportunities in the fields you and your DH work in? You have some big decisions to make and I don't envy you, but it seems to me that some good research is called for first.

MadeInYorkshire69 · 12/02/2022 18:42

Sell the inherited house and buy something in a better part of Manchester. It’s a great city and has all the buzz of London without the price tag. I’ve been down South for a long time and I’m desperate to move back up North. But most people I know who are Londoners can’t imagine life anywhere else. It’s ok up North honest! Give it a go you can always come back if it’s not for you- and think of the rent you’ll save!

Barbarantia · 12/02/2022 18:43

Maintenance costs for old houses can rival rents.
You may find yourself mortgage free and unable to do the holidays and days out anyway.

I'd sell it and get something somewhere you actually want to live, that's a bit newer so reduced maintenance costs and if possible with good energy rating I. E. With insulation and heat exchange. Energy costs are a thing.

1forAll74 · 12/02/2022 18:44

I would definitely live up North. I was born in Cheshire, but now in Hertfordshire, and hate it. Its not far to get to London from here, but I never visit London at all.

Feeascotime · 12/02/2022 18:45

Perhaps a compromise. Sell the house and buy where you can afford. I think renting is paying off another's mortgage. London property is ridiculously expensive. I hate the pollution issues. First go check out the house in Manchester. If you hate it, have it valued and sell. No right/wrong answer here but renting is madness.

me109f · 12/02/2022 18:45

If your DH can get a job in Manchester, it could be the better option. Renting in London just bleeds your finances, I spent time in Bow in London many years ago (renting) and I loved it but, moved away eventually and never looked back. London is much worse these days, and I feel that there was a great sense of community when I was there but really, there is a whole world away from London to explore and you will live more happily, particularly with a family.
If Manchester does not work out move on somewhere else, you should have a deposit for your next home. Enjoy the adventure and make your children happy.

felulageller · 12/02/2022 18:52

I'd move and use the money saved in mortgage payments to pay for both DC's to go to private secondary.