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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move because dh inherited property?

641 replies

bowmejen3 · 11/02/2022 12:46

So I'm born and bred in Hackney. Met my husband here who is originally from south Manchester in one of the largest council estates In Europe apparently.

We've been married 10 years and have two children. (4 and 2 months)

We rent privately and was looking forward to getting on the shared ownership scheme this year! 4 year old settled in nursery waiting for reception etc! However DH has been very stressed and with rising living costs. We have not got much to spare each month after saving for our deposit.

Now here is my aibu.
Dh father recently died and left his house (ex council but bought) to dh. It has no mortgage left.

Dh thinks this is the best thing ever as we could move there (3 bed semi detached, big garden, driveway, extra room for washing etc)
Be mortgage free, near his family and have essentially more disposable income to enjoy life, holidays, other ventures etc.

I know I know it sounds perfect on paper... but I always envisioned raising my children in London but dh claims we are actually being selfish because potentially they will never be able to afford to live near us in the future and we may only ever own 25 percent of a flat!
And the area he is from has not got a great reputation...

I believe he could sell the house for around £240,000 (from Rightmove) and put it down for a deposit on a house in London!

Dh thinks I'm being ridiculous to want to not be mortgage free just for the sake of "London" and being snobby towards his childhood area? (Which I'm not)

Aibu?

OP posts:
Original poster
bowmejen3 · 11/02/2022 12:55

Sorry title should say "to NOT move"

OP posts:
ShittyFingers · 11/02/2022 12:57

I’m team DH - but what I’d probably do is sell the house and then move to nice part of Manchester

I wouldn’t live in London if I was paid to though

AryaStarkWolf · 11/02/2022 12:58

No of course YANBU, I understand his points but if you don't want to leave London then he needs to respect that too

ButWhereDidTheWindComeFrom · 11/02/2022 12:58

You don't say if jobs are an issue in that you would both need to change jobs, but if not then I would say move to the hosue for say 12 months and try it out. Then you know what the area is like,l yet can still sell up and move back to London if that works out better for you. The children are young enough to be able to make the move without too much disruption I would have thought.

Thewoolmill · 11/02/2022 12:58

Did your DH ever talk about moving before he inherited the property? I can understand the lure as you’d be mortgage free. Do you both work? Do you have a support network in London?

Lime37 · 11/02/2022 12:59

Tbh I would pick Manchester any day over London.

myusernamewastakenbyme · 11/02/2022 13:01

I'm with your dh too but then i'm not a fan of London and certainly wouldn't want to raise kids there.

ChittyBangs · 11/02/2022 13:02

I'm with DH too.
Wouldn't want to raise kids in London tbh.
And actually prefer Manchester.

CharlotteRose90 · 11/02/2022 13:02

I’m team dh and you are being snobby with what you said about his area in the first place. Im In Manchester and I’d pick here any day over London living especially for kids . There’s more for kids to do and less knife and gun crime here. Why on earth would you want to spend the rest of your life paying for a house that wouldn’t be yours when you have one mortgage free.

Pangolin44 · 11/02/2022 13:03

Manchester is a great city I wouldn't move to Wythenshawe though (I presume that's where the property is). It's not great and quite a way from the city itself.

I'd sell the house and possibly consider a move to another area of Manchester.

Campervan69 · 11/02/2022 13:03

Presume the house is in Wythenshawe. Wouldn't bring my kids up there tbh.

BurntO · 11/02/2022 13:03

Honestly it sounds like the better option. Who would want to go into shared ownership in London when you don’t have much spare cash as it is, when there is literally a house sitting waiting for you. You don’t have to live in that house forever but it is a much more affordable city and you could save so much being mortgage free and look to buy in a different area of Manchester in 5/10 years time. I don’t blame your OH at all

Aprilx · 11/02/2022 13:03

I know house prices in Manchester have been rising, but if an ex council house is worth £240k then it really cannot be in too bad an area. (I am Mancunian and my parents old three bedroom house in an average part of Manchester would only be worth half of that).

That said, I still wouldn’t uproot my life because of an inherited property. The obvious answer seems to be to sell it and move to somewhere in a southern county where it will be a very good deposit on a family size home.

MeatPieWoman · 11/02/2022 13:04

I think your DH is right.

While your children are young you could give it a go.

It doesn't mean you have to live there for ever.

Save up what you would be paying in rent/ mortgage to open the options in years to come.

MsChatterbox · 11/02/2022 13:05

Definitely take the house!

Redshoeblueshoe · 11/02/2022 13:05

I'm guessing Wythenshawe too. Plenty of nice areas in Manchester.

JustAnotherUserinParadise · 11/02/2022 13:05

Really depends on where in Manchester... it's a huge area, some of it lovely, some rough as Fudge...

IsDaveThere · 11/02/2022 13:05

I'm also team DH, sorry. I would pick Manchester over London any day of the week.

Why are you so keen on raising your children in London?

Pembertonrd · 11/02/2022 13:06

Compromise.
Sell property and buy a new home in a nice area near Manchester.

Caterinasballerinas · 11/02/2022 13:06

Yes I’d go with moving to Manchester but in a new house if you have jobs that could enable this. You could position it that you want to make a house your own, no house is perfect and you’d not want to feel like you were criticising his family home.

SickAndTiredAgain · 11/02/2022 13:07

Sell the house and use the money as a deposit on a less expensive area outside of London? You could have a relatively small mortgage which would be a massive plus for me. It doesn’t need to just be London or Manchester.

Original poster
bowmejen3 · 11/02/2022 13:07

Yes it's in wythenshawe, close to Northenden/Gatley..

The prices there are going up.. so that's an actual excellent suggestions to perhaps live there, sell the property and buy in a different area.

But to those who say they wouldn't raise their children in London, why?

I had a great childhood, went to school on the tube by 13. Went to museums most weekends. As a teenager, I was NEVER BORED. Always something new to explore.
Dh actually said he wish he was brought up here a few years ago as he was really bored in wythenshawe!

OP posts:
hellcatspangle · 11/02/2022 13:07

I'm team DH too. It's a good point about your own dc struggling to get on the housing ladder in london, and even with his deposit will you manage to get a house that size with a large garden?

I'm not saying stay in that house forever, but you'll definitely have more more living up north (and Manchester is great)

saoirse31 · 11/02/2022 13:08

Mortgage free is fantastic, Manchester's a big city, ask yourself what will they gain in london in much smaller flat, more stressed parents and probably no money to benefit from londons attractions

billy1966 · 11/02/2022 13:08

OP,
Do not rush into, or be rushed into any decision to move away from where you love.

Once you move there you are stuck there.
Where are your family?