To move because dh inherited property?

[bowmejen3]

So I'm born and bred in Hackney. Met my husband here who is originally from south Manchester in one of the largest council estates In Europe apparently.

We've been married 10 years and have two children. (4 and 2 months)

We rent privately and was looking forward to getting on the shared ownership scheme this year! 4 year old settled in nursery waiting for reception etc! However DH has been very stressed and with rising living costs. We have not got much to spare each month after saving for our deposit.

Now here is my aibu.
Dh father recently died and left his house (ex council but bought) to dh. It has no mortgage left.

Dh thinks this is the best thing ever as we could move there (3 bed semi detached, big garden, driveway, extra room for washing etc)
Be mortgage free, near his family and have essentially more disposable income to enjoy life, holidays, other ventures etc.

I know I know it sounds perfect on paper... but I always envisioned raising my children in London but dh claims we are actually being selfish because potentially they will never be able to afford to live near us in the future and we may only ever own 25 percent of a flat!
And the area he is from has not got a great reputation...

I believe he could sell the house for around £240,000 (from Rightmove) and put it down for a deposit on a house in London!

Dh thinks I'm being ridiculous to want to not be mortgage free just for the sake of "London" and being snobby towards his childhood area? (Which I'm not)

Aibu?

@thedancingbear

Obviously you have a right of veto OP - no-one can force you to move.

But I know both Manchester and London well, and I would choose to live in south Manchester over East London any day of the week. No competition.

100% this. Can't imagine choosing London over Manchester as a place to raise my kids.

Team DH - I think I know the estate you mean and that bit of Wythenshawe is absolutely fine these days.

Being mortgage free would be a huge boost to your quality of life and Manchester is brilliant.

I agree with your DH and I've lived in London...trial it for a couple of years...being rent and mortgage free is amazing

If you sell the house, how does that leave you with being able to buy in Hackney? Does it exclude you from a shared ownership scheme, but not give you enough to buy something?

I think you should consider all possibilities and take several months to think about it.

There will be costs with holding on to a house you're not living in - so you may need to rent it out for a year, although that isn't stress free, either.

Have you discussed selling it and choosing a different area to live in. Not London, but near enough to nip in by train. Yes, it isn't cheap, but it will be cheaper than London. That way you may be able to get well on the housing market, and still be able to do what you like there.

I've lived NW and I've lived SE. They're very different.

On any thread like this, you bring out the London haters, but you need to think together rationally what you would miss about London, v the advantages to moving to Manchester and whether that's something that matters enough to you.

I wouldn't want to live in an inherited property. It's almost never what you would have chosen yourself, or in the right location. Plus if you have inherited it with all the furniture, unless your DH is ruthlessly unsentimental about it all you risk getting stuck with someone else's stuff and interior design choices as well.

Even if you were willing to give living in Manchester a go, I'd want to make a fresh start in a home you have chosen together.

Living mortgage free is HUGE.

I'm in the US so I won't touch the London (south) vs Manchester (north) debate with a barge pole! BUT since your child is still young enough to be 'portable' (meaning changing schools in a year or two wouldn't be 'catastrophic) what I'd do is move to the inherited house, save like mad for a year or two, then sell up and use the money to move to a place that offers a lifestyle that both of you like.

Use the 'saving period' to explore other areas. The UK is a pretty big place. I'm sure there's somewhere between London and Manchester you can agree on, even if it takes a bit of compromise.

My DH was from a 'rural-ish' area, I was raised near a city of 2,000,000+. I moved to his area when we moved, but a job driven move put us in a whole new area near a city 500K. We were both a big nervous about moving to a new area but we LOVE it here. All the benefits of 'the big city' for me with 'the country' being a short drive away for him.

100% this. Can't imagine choosing London over Manchester as a place to raise my kids

Even though crime is worse in Manchester than London?
www.thesun.co.uk/news/16918261/england-wales-most-dangerous-county-crime-map/
I think we need to get over the idea that London is a war zone & Manchester is a crime free oasis

I moved to his area when we married.

I wouldn't live in the house. Definitely wouldn't move to Wythenshawe. Sell the house, use the money to buy somewhere either in London or if you do want to move elsewhere, why not try Leeds. More affordable than London but not Manchester. (I've lived in Manchester. I really wouldn't choose it over London. Or Leeds. Or many places tbh).

I think you are both right and wrong

But as others said there is a 3rd option

Sell and buy elsewhere. Not London. Not this dreadful part of Manchester - tho not sure why so bad as I’m not local but going by this thread

But there are always places that are awful and nice in same location iyswim

Why struggle and part own in London when could have a nice property mortgage free or low mortgage prob less the rent you now pay

What do you pay @bowmejen3 a month in rent and what do you get for that

Can you come to a mutual agreement?

I can understand not wanting to raise children in an area of the country you know to not be nice, but your husband also makes a great point about being mortgage free and thinking of your childrens future.

Perhaps you could sell the house and find an area you'd both be happy to live in, outside of London £240,000 is a huge amount towards a lovely family home and you would probably end up with a really low mortgage and a beautiful family home.

I grew up in North Yorkshire, its a beautiful part of the country and £240 k would go a long way in these places.

London is wonderful, OP, but to me it can't compare to the financial security of living in a mortgage-free house, especially when cost of living is rising so much. You should be able to set aside lots of money to enrich your children's lives in other ways, and have so much more security in case of job loss.

That said, I'm not a big city person and while I loved many things about London, I chose not to stay there due to the cost of living and don't regret the decision. But it sounds like you really love it.

The suggested compromise of living there a year or two and then considering a move back to London (or elsewhere) does make a lot of sense.

I'd sell the Manchester property and move somewhere else entirely. I'm London born and bred and had a brilliant time living and working here but I've now had enough and am moving to the Kent coast ASAP as many of my friends have (including those from Hackney).
My kids - 17 and 23, love living in London and all it has to offer but I hope they too decide to move away before they have their own children.
I can sell my place here and buy 2 at the coast - one to live in and one to rent out. Prices here are ridiculous now.

I'm team DH. Living mortgage free is something so many aspire to, it gives you more financial freedom, and with the rise in living costs that could be an amazing thing right now.
There are options, dh could rent the property, sell up and use the money to buy elsewhere for you and your family.

I forgot about the rain. It rains all the frickin' time in Manchester.

Assuming the house is in wythenshawe I def would NOT want to move there. But 240k will be a decent deposit towards a really decent (300-400k) house in Manchester if you pick carefully.

So he should sell the house and then you two have to decide if you’re Using the proceeds towards a house in london or the nw. But def do not love to Wythenshawe!

@moreshitandnofuckingredemption

I forgot about the rain. It rains all the frickin' time in Manchester.

Right now the sun is shining. It has barely rained all week.

I am with DH too. The peace of mind from affordable housing will make your lives so much easier and you can deal with financial shocks without stress. Your children are still of an age to help you become part of a community in Manchester, or somewhere else affordable. There are museums in Manchester too and they have the metro, maybe it would not be as different as you fear. I would move into the house, but be open to selling it, you can check out other areas of Manchester which are good for families. I think you may also be stung by stamp duty if you keep that house and then buy in London.

If your jobs aren't an issue, the country is your oyster (to a degree)

Have a frank discussion about what sort of environment you want to bring up your children in (city, town, village) and near to what amenities and then look around. You're in a very fortunate position

YANBU - but it's a shame you cocked up the thread title and didn't enable voting.

Have you visited the estate in Manchester? Is it really nice? I quite like Manchester, as in enough to visit and pay for a hotel, but London wins hands down.

I suppose another big consideration is whether your combined earnings plus a 250k deposit would buy anything tolerable in London. Your incomes are a huge factor.

I would have preferred to grow up in London than Manchester. My ex boyfriend grew up in a small council flat in Barons Court without outside space but near parks and he never felt deprived. London's parks and museums are amazing and they are mostly free.

I had a great childhood, went to school on the tube by 13. Went to museums most weekends. As a teenager, I was NEVER BORED

Lots of museums and similar in Manchester - www.visitmanchester.com/things-to-see-and-do/attractions/museums-and-galleries

@zahra07

Manchester nor ‘and Chester.’ Sorry!

Chester is quite nice actually, but again, just feels too damp.

Us Northerners have waterproof skin, do you melt in rain ?

OP, you are mad to pass over a mortgage free house for a shared property flat. Why would you do that ? Wythenshawe isn't too bad, yes there are rough parts but that goes for everywhere.

As a Londoner born and bred, I get why you’re hesitant to leave. It is a different world outside London, but, it’s a really good one!
You wouldn’t just be mortgage free, you’d be cash rich with so much more to spend on amazing holidays, trips out for your kids, driving lessons and a car for them when they turn 18, all the extra bits that make life that bit sweeter.

I am from Manchester now live in Hackney with small DC.

I would never leave Hackney for Manchester in a million years and I think you should be very very careful before you commit to anything.

Why not sell council house and use it as a deposit for a house in the south? For me the culture, arts, opportunities (work and others), proximity to everywhere, schools, parks, restaurants, buzz, community in Hackney is unbeatable.