To move because dh inherited property?

[bowmejen3]

So I'm born and bred in Hackney. Met my husband here who is originally from south Manchester in one of the largest council estates In Europe apparently.

We've been married 10 years and have two children. (4 and 2 months)

We rent privately and was looking forward to getting on the shared ownership scheme this year! 4 year old settled in nursery waiting for reception etc! However DH has been very stressed and with rising living costs. We have not got much to spare each month after saving for our deposit.

Now here is my aibu.
Dh father recently died and left his house (ex council but bought) to dh. It has no mortgage left.

Dh thinks this is the best thing ever as we could move there (3 bed semi detached, big garden, driveway, extra room for washing etc)
Be mortgage free, near his family and have essentially more disposable income to enjoy life, holidays, other ventures etc.

I know I know it sounds perfect on paper... but I always envisioned raising my children in London but dh claims we are actually being selfish because potentially they will never be able to afford to live near us in the future and we may only ever own 25 percent of a flat!
And the area he is from has not got a great reputation...

I believe he could sell the house for around £240,000 (from Rightmove) and put it down for a deposit on a house in London!

Dh thinks I'm being ridiculous to want to not be mortgage free just for the sake of "London" and being snobby towards his childhood area? (Which I'm not)

Aibu?

Op, London is fantastic, but, it is can be a difficult place to bring up children, particularly teens.

I would move up to Manchester, be mortgage-free and save whilst getting a feel for the different areas. Put a time limit on it, and then sell the house and re locate to a nicer part of the North than Wythnshawe. They really do exist.

I would move to the Wythensaw house and live there for two years. You won’t be paying rent or a mortgage.

You will be nicely cushioned against all of the huge price increases AND still be able to save.

Two years gives you a chance to see if you like living out of London.

And if you put your heads down and save as much as you can in two years time you will hopefully be in a really good position to buy either in a nicer area in the NW and be mortgage free or be in a better position to buy in London if you feel that’s still what you want. Win win.

It’s a great opportunity to really get a good nest egg behind you.

I think you'd be insane to stay in London if you can't afford to ever buy.

I'd sell and find somewhere nice between the two locations.

I wouldn’t move to a council estate in Manchester. Look at the inheritance as a £240k deposit on where you want to buy. Even in London, a £240k deposit is going to make a massive difference to any mortgage you need.

Mortgage free, and nowhere nearLondon seems to be the dream for a lot of MN posters. But London is where you live, and want to raise your children. And lots of us live with mortgages. I wouldn’t uproot my whole life to move somewhere completely different, just on the pull of a mortgage free life.

We could sell our house and buy somewhere cheap, in a rough part of a different city, and live with no mortgage. But I think that would be madness, so we keep paying our mortgage on our nice house.

Stay put.

@bowmejen3

Yes it's in wythenshawe, close to Northenden/Gatley..

The prices there are going up.. so that's an actual excellent suggestions to perhaps live there, sell the property and buy in a different area.

But to those who say they wouldn't raise their children in London, why?

I had a great childhood, went to school on the tube by 13. Went to museums most weekends. As a teenager, I was NEVER BORED. Always something new to explore.
Dh actually said he wish he was brought up here a few years ago as he was really bored in wythenshawe!

I agree with you, I don't think anything is wrong with raising children in London, it's got 10 million people, it's vastly varied.

On the flip side, house prices are ridiculous and Manchester is also a great city, but of course it depends where you live.

I live in London and love it. But Manchester is a great city. Loads to do and has a great vibe.
And being mortgage free would be incredible. You'd be able to save well, have decent holidays, the kids could do any activities.

Obviously you have a right of veto OP - no-one can force you to move.

But I know both Manchester and London well, and I would choose to live in south Manchester over East London any day of the week. No competition.

I’m from South Manchester and now live in London. In your situation I would choose Manchester in a heartbeat. While Wythenshawe isn’t the nicest part of Manchester I don’t think it’s terrible, certainly no worse than Hackney! If you move there can you work out how much you could save per month and aim to move to a nicer area in a couple of years?

Where is your family? How involves are they and your friends etc with DC. I think moving with an under 1 would be tough and you'd have to be really careful about moving times for a heading to school in Sept 4yr old as there is a fair chance you wouldn't get a 'preferred school' as you've missed the deadline...

Would I do London... no but then I'm a rural midlander... would I do Manchester no probably not. Would I consider my options given the overall finances... yeah definitely!

@GatoradeMeBitch

Has the house really been valued at 240k or is that your DH's guess? Because if the area is bad why is the house a decent price?

I think you should consider the compromise others have mentioned. Agree to move up to Manchester, but start fresh in a place of your own choosing, and with a nice small mortgage. London has changed quite a bit since you were a kid, there's no way I'd send any kid off to school on the tube unaccompanied. Manchester has culture equal to London, and arguably much more for children.

Manchester, especially south of the city can be quite expensive. South Manchester is not cheap, Wythenshawe isn't great (some bits are better than others, the area might be fine but you'd have to live there to know that) and a 3 bed house could be over £300k in a different area (in the popular areas). There is quite a lot of crime in Manchester, just like London. OP, if you have a support network in London, I'd think hard before moving. Could you use the money as a deposit on a cheaper area of London, further out? If you did move to Manchester, you could use the money towards a deposit for a different house? If you decided you didn't like it, would your DH to be happy to move from the Wythenshawe house or would you be stuck there as he would refuse to move again?

If you cant afford london which it sounds like then go to manchester thats a great position to be in mortgage free

I think you're both wrong and both right.

I don't think you should live in the house but I also don't think that you should necessarily stay in London either. Assuming that your jobs are portable and not one of those jobs that can't be done outside London, I'd use the Manchester house as a big fat deposit on another house. Outside of London I would have thought that you can buy in an area with good schools, less crime etc

@GabriellaMontez

I wouldn't live in Wythenshawe or choose a school there.

Important things to consider are schools, work, family support, your personal interests/networks.

At the bottom of the list is how your children will afford to buy in London. How does he know what they'll afford? What will happen to housing? He's trying to distract you from what matters now.

Sell the house. Use it for a deposit. Or look at a totally different location.

I'm a governor of a school in Wythenshawe. I live in a supposedly nicer bit of Manchester. The Wythenshawe school knocks spots off my kids' "nicer" school. We're seeing a change in demographics too as o well off families move in. If you're close to Gatley then it's probably a nicer bit of Wythenshawe than most people upthread are suggesting. And as for the gun and knife crime, well, I'd say it's no worse than London and probably quite a bit better.

I lived in Hackney for years, and loved it so much (I was by Victoria Park). We moved out of London, and there's not a day I don't regret it. To me, London is life, and I relax as soon as I smell the exhaust fumes. I'll be moving back as soon as the kids have flown the nest. I'm team you, OP!

I hear you, OP. I live not far from Hackney and I understand why you want to stay.

Maybe sell the inherited house and then have a very serious think about options with your DP. What can the money give you in terms of deposit in Hackney? How big will the mortgage be with this larger deposit? Are there other places that might be a compromise option for you both? Sit down and really list your priorities as a couple and find a solution that works for you both. Good luck.🌷

Not sure why you'd be bored living in Manchester. If his childhood areais rough sell up and move to another bit of Manchester. There are lovely affordable areas. Cmpromise option.

Honestly, your DH's dad has just died. His desire to move up there, into his old home, close to his family is probably understandable under the circumstances, and probably driven more by sentimentality and grief than practical long term thinking.

I'd suggest he rents the property out for a year or so, and then you discuss future plans together once some time has gone by.

I left London to raise my family and have regretted it every day since. Wish I could go back.

I would sell the house, and as a separate process, decide where you want to live, whether London, Manchester or elsewhere. It's a bit random to move to a specific house just because you happen to have inherited it - you could use its value to live where you choose. Even if you decide to move to Manchester, you should choose the part of Manchester which works best for you, which may not be that location.

You don't need to be mortgage free, you could have a small and manageable mortgage.

I wouldn't worry about your kids buying houses in the future - it's so far away and who's to say they will want to stay in that location, whether London or Manchester.

I understand what DH means, but I also understand that your gutted (if that's the word) as I guess you're really happy in the area you live. Is there anywhere else you might be interested in living, possibly up north as DH is closer to family? If not, is there any chance of just you or the family having a few days up there. I guess you know the area, but if you go up there either on your own or with the family to see if while you're up there, there are any positives.

Well now is the time, with the age your kids are.
How about spending a week up there - stay in the house - and do a bit of exploring.
Having a disposable income will make a massive difference to your children's childhood.

Tricky one, I have never understood the big London pull but then I have never understood the big pull to live near family.

I would far rather be mortgage free.

I live in London and never want to move but I would find it hard to accept 25% of a shared ownership over a fully owned/mortgaged house elsewhere (if I've understood that properly).

But I also would not move into your husband's childhood home if you don't want to. Time to reach a compromise.

So sorry for your loss
My advice would be to sit on your hands.there's no rush. Schools change depending on the OFSTED inspectors. Have a look around.I'm 40 minutes from London, by the coast. We have museums, galleries and electricity too
He has left you this marvellous gift - make your own mark in the world

I would rather bring my kids up on a council estate in Manchester than in London

And actually Wythenshawe is on the rise - Some say its the New Didsbury.

There has been alot of new builds put up to break up the council estate

Wythenshawe Park covers over 270 acres of green space and is home to Manchester’s only community farm. At the centre of the park is the historic Wythenshawe Hall with its Civil War and Tatton family heritage. The park also has riding stables, a horticulture centre, children’s play area, athletics track, football pitches, tennis courts, bowls and golfing facilities.

Metrolink so easy to get into Town