To ask him to borrow some money?

[dogaibu]

Feel like I might BU but I want to check.

My dad died in Feb 21 and I received an inheritance of around 20k. Since then, it appears I've been footing yhr bill for everything. I have Ds11 and he has dss9 and dss12 and it seems that every time they need anything- clothes, bedding, computer games, anything at all- I've been paying for it. We have a dog and a cat and the cat had cancer recently- I footed the entire £1,000 bill.

The house desperately needs painting, the carpet needs shampooing, the deck outside needs power washing, the boys need some new bedroom furniture. It's looking like I'm to foot the entire bill again.

Dh has very little spare money as he pays nearly £450 a month for his Dc, child maintenance, our rent is also pretty high. I obviously have more money than him due to my inheritance but AIBU to ask him to either get a bank loan or use his credit card to pay half of all these household expenses?

If you’re married why does he have to get into debt when there’s money in the bank?

Can’t be get a second job or a better paid job? Assume as he pays £450 a month he’s on a decent wage.

I resent paying for EVERYTHING. I want to keep some of the money aside for my ds.

What’s he spending all his own money on?

He's on 29k but our rent is a thousand pounds a month

Ask yourself whether you’d be happy if he asked you to do the same if the situation was reversed.

Is this an reverse? You want your husband to go into debt rather than use money that you already have to do work on the house? I think yabu assuming your married. If your that worried invest some of your money so it can be touched.

So who paid for things before you had your inheritance?

What is his net income every month?

Getting credit to fund day to day expenses isn’t smart because he obviously won’t be able to afford to pay it back. And if your married ultimately itl end up a joint debt anyway. I’d start by getting pet insurance personally. Are you planning to use the money towards a deposit or anything? Could make more sense than repainting your rental and mortgage is likely to be cheaper than rent.

Putting household expenses on a credit card is a terrible idea. If you need more money every month, one of you needs to earn more. Which is easier said than done, but putting child support payments or rent on credit is not the answer.

£20,000 won’t last long if you pay for everything.

If he hasn’t physically got the money, how do you expect him to pay?

What happened with household bills, etc before you got your inheritance?

If the household expenses mean you are having to get into debt or use inheritance money then you need to take a long hard look at your finances and work out ways to get your income to cover your expenditure.
If you can't afford your current lifestyle then you'll need to cut back somewhere as it's unsustainable even with a 20K inheritance.

It would be fair to stop paying for his children. They have 2 parents to provide for them already.

Tell him he needs to pay for them himself. If he's paying their mother so much he's in debt then he needs to apply to reduce the payments. No way should you be paying for them.

Apart from emergencies but that should be seen as a loan.

@RedskyThisNight

So who paid for things before you had your inheritance?

Indeed.

Isn't the landlord normally responsible for decorating the house? That would be one less thing to pay for. Don't use your money to pay for his kids, he needs to sort that out. Getting a loan isn't a long term solution, it's only a one off so you need to think carefully - what if he finds he can't afford to pay it back, is that going to fall to you too? What happens once he's (potentially) frittered the loan away?

Put some money in an account in your daughter's name.

You need to look at your outgoings - you need to try and get them within the money you have coming in, excluding the inheritance

Put your money in a account you can't access for a few years (or say you have) then save up together the old fashioned way for the improvements and expenses.

how did finances work before the inheritance?
It's unreasonable to expect him to run up debts on credit card or a loan - if he can't finance day to day living from his current income, it'll be a downward spiral servicing interest, repaying the loan..

How did he pay for everything he needed to pre inheritance?

And what's your wage @dogaibu ?

If you spend all the money pretty soon you'll be back to square 1 with nothing much to show for it. Put done in your DC's name and tell him it's all gone.

Put money into your child’s savings account and don’t touch it. A substantial amount, maybe £10k.

What were your plans for the money? I’m sure your dad wouldn’t want you to fritter it away.

It is unreasonable to expect your dh to get into debt but how would you and your dh be surviving if you hadn’t inherited the money?