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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

BF beaten and robbed of £800 after visiting prostitute but I kicked him out

159 replies

DayLondon · 09/02/2022 13:02

Was I wrong to react like this? I had a massive row with my best friend of many years who said it was self-centred and narcissistic of me to behave in the way I did to my now safe to say ex-BF.

Okay the background is me and BF met on Tinder around 3 years ago but during the second lockdown he effectively moved in with me. He was on furlough and then jobless and living rent free but it wasn’t an issue for me at the time. Sometimes he used to go off in the afternoon and return a few hours later and always used to say he was going to meet a friend ‘here and there’ and being a trusting person I didn’t think much of it.

A few afternoons ago he went off again to meet ‘with a friend’ in Canning Town but returned with face slashed and clothes bloodied looking utterly dazed. I was so upset and my immediate thought was he got into a fight but after saying he needed to call the Police he confessed that he had gone to visit a prostitute and ended up being attacked by 2 men and possibly a third who bolted and ran off as soon as the prostitute opened the door.

I told him he had no sympathy from me and to pack his bags and find a friend to stay with and sort it out there. He seemed very upset at this and wasn’t expecting my reaction and said he wanted to ‘come clean with me.’

As a result of all this mess none of my own making I’ve now potentially lost my friend as well though she refused to take my side over this so not sure how good a friend she really was.

Was I wrong to react in the way I did and should I have been more sympathetic to someone who had just been badly robbed and disfigured, regardless of what the circumstances were?

OP posts:
Sprucewillis · 09/02/2022 17:41

@RedBonnet

I don't understand why he confessed. Why not just say he was robbed and leave it that. 🤔
He was hoping the OP would take pity on him and give him more cash. Kiss his booboos etc. He probably also thinks someone else is going to tell OP what has been going on and thought it best to come clean rather than get found out. Doesn't make him a hero though. I suspect the £800 is the tip of a very large iceberg.
WhereYouLeftIt · 09/02/2022 18:38

[quote ChargingBuck]**@WhereYouLeftIt* thank you for resurrecting dick-pandering*, my fave MN phrase ever. I've pinched it often since seeing it a few years back, & wish I could remember the PP who originally posted it.

Unless .... {drum roll} ... it was YOU?[/quote]
Nah, I stole it from here tooGrin!

Thirkettle · 09/02/2022 20:21

@Hoppinggreen

Have a serious think about the kind of people you mix with in general
This! This is all utterly grim. Loser friends and creatures off Tinder. You really can do better.
CassandrasCastle · 09/02/2022 20:46

His face was slashed?? 😬 I mean, he doesn't sound like a stand up guy, but I'd have probably helped him get some medical assistance in the circumstances...😶

CassandrasCastle · 09/02/2022 20:47

CREATURES OFF TINDER 😱

Regularsizedrudy · 09/02/2022 21:00

@DoubleTweenQueen

Who carries £800 quid around on them?
Pervs who use prostitutes I guess
nitsandwormsdodger · 09/02/2022 21:20

I ask this kindly... as it is a possibility ...
Is it possible you are also involved in sex work ? as that would be an explanation for why your expectations for men are sooooooo very low and you have a “ friend “ who has also a very warped view of what’s acceptable
No judgement from me at all
Just pondering
Please look after yourself better going forward

lisaandalan · 09/02/2022 22:53

Run from both of them and find nicer people to mix with. X

Ameanstreakamilewide · 10/02/2022 16:03

Hmm, this has an odd smell. 🤨 🐎 💩

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