4 year old assembly “girls can be boys”

[AnotherNameChanged1234]

Is this the norm? My childrens school had an assembly (via zoom of course) on boys can be girls and girls can be boys. The whole school attended - rising 3 year olds through to 11 year olds (nursery is part of schools here -devolved U.K. nation)

I’m so angry, this doesn’t feel age appropriate at all. I’m so angry, my 6 year old was sobbing over it and it completely took me off guard.

I’m not an anti-trans person, I have some good friends who are trans, I’ve seen the pain they’ve gone through, and I’ll always encourage sympathy and no judgement, but this seems like madness. 3 and 4 year olds barely even know what boy and girl are. These poor kids have had two year’s socialisation stolen away from them, can’t we just let them be kids for a few years?

AIBU to be cross, or is this the norm in every school?

YABU- it’s the norm
YANBU- it’s not the norm for this age group

@Holothane

Everything has to be labelled you can’t be straight anymore. There’s no place for us anymore we don’t seem to fit in the pronoun this the label that, I’m so glad I’m 55 not 14. If I’d been around today as I was at 14 I’d be pressured into thinking I want to a man 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ And no I don’t hate trans people before you all start saying I do. I’ve read many books on the subject for medical details and surgery. My best friends ex husband is now a woman they get on very well.

Who said you can't be straight? 😂😂😂 Surely that's a label in itself?

Nobody's talking about sexuality here.

@Prinnny

Oh god I hate all this. I just want my child to go to a school like I did, that teaches them about things about the tudors, the solar system etc not all this woke shit at such a young age. I can’t bear the way the world is going.

Agreed. My kids are in Scotland and its AWFUL.

My only Caveat to this, is that I think there should be an emphasis on children being taught that their bodies belong to them, the NSPCC Pants rule and safety around adults. That wasn't around when I was young and it was (and is) much needed sadly. They can learn all about 'girls & boys bodies' a little later when they are doing 'sex ed'

This is a really dangerous lesson to teach if they're doing it so poorly that your daughter will wake up a boy one day.

I don't understand why they feel the need to teach girls can be boys and boys can be girls, because they can't. That's not how it works.

I'd definitely be asking the school what was said and what materials were used. Sounds really worrying to me.

I don't understand why children as young as this need to attend an assembly on gender. Isn't it more age appropriate to talk about being kind, sharing, not bullying, accepting difference etc in a more general sense?

@Holothane

Everything has to be labelled you can’t be straight anymore. There’s no place for us anymore we don’t seem to fit in the pronoun this the label that, I’m so glad I’m 55 not 14. If I’d been around today as I was at 14 I’d be pressured into thinking I want to a man 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ And no I don’t hate trans people before you all start saying I do. I’ve read many books on the subject for medical details and surgery. My best friends ex husband is now a woman they get on very well.

Except your best friend's ex husband isn't actually a woman is he? It is this kind of language that perpetuates the belief that sex isn't immutable. No wonder our kids are confused.

My 14 year old says 50% of her year identify as something else - it is cool to be another identity including the sexualities. If this sounds muddled and wrong it is because it is. 'Straight' is not a cool identity.

The fact is, there are children born ambiguous, so I don't think it's a bad idea to share the information from early age, so those who suffers doesn't feel different and discriminated. From data, it looks like 1 in 1500, so it's rare, but not totally rare either.
It maybe confusing for normal children, but what about the children born different?
That's my thinking.

@rainrainraincamedowndowndown

The fact is, there are children born ambiguous, so I don't think it's a bad idea to share the information from early age, so those who suffers doesn't feel different and discriminated. From data, it looks like 1 in 1500, so it's rare, but not totally rare either. It maybe confusing for normal children, but what about the children born different? That's my thinking.

Which is fine if they're teaching it in the right way. Which they clearly haven't here or the OP's child wouldn't be sobbing. A whole school assembly is the absolute wrong way to teach such a sensitive subject.

OP - I found out after the event that there were discussions in my DS class (age 6-7 year olds) based around a story about a boy who was bullied because he wanted to wear a dress, leading to discussions about boys becoming girls etc.

I only found out about it because DS suddenly asked if he could become a girl - turned out he thought that he would suddenly wake up as a girl or some such nonsense - and he didn't want to be a girl. It took some unpicking I can tell you. I wish school had warned us they were having these discussions. I downplay it all to be honest.

Are you muddling Disorders/Variations of Sexual Development with trans because they are not remotely related.

being kind, sharing, not bullying, accepting difference etc in a more general sense?

The primary curriculum is still very much using this as a focus. It ensures that everyone is protected, including children with learning difficulties or visible and invisible disabilities. On the whole children are much more considerate of their peers than adults.

Similarly re is taught as others believe and topics chosen are balanced with British values of tolerance.

But trans ideology doesn't allow difference of belief which is why it has no place in schools.

If they're teaching kids that being a boy or a girl is about what stuff you like, this is really harmful.

It means that a young girl who likes football and science is at risk of either believing she is a boy and needs to medically transition, or not pursuing her interests in football and science because she doesn't want to be told she is actually a boy.

It's unbelievably regressive.

@Holothane

Everything has to be labelled you can’t be straight anymore. There’s no place for us anymore we don’t seem to fit in the pronoun this the label that, I’m so glad I’m 55 not 14. If I’d been around today as I was at 14 I’d be pressured into thinking I want to a man 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ And no I don’t hate trans people before you all start saying I do. I’ve read many books on the subject for medical details and surgery. My best friends ex husband is now a woman they get on very well.

He identifies as a woman you mean. Sex and gender are not the same thing.

@Sillydoggy. Adolescence is a confusing time anyway, so many teens have self-esteem and confidence issues anyway, think they don't fit in, plus burgeoning hormones etc I can see the appeal of thinking that if you had another identity things might be better.

The school governors need to approve the PSHE curriculum, when you speak to school ask if this has happened.

I would be so cross if DS were taught this at school.
For a start it is scientifically and factually incorrect!

He identifies as a woman you mean. Sex and gender are not the same thing.

What does identifying as a woman mean? What are they identifying with?

I’m very surprised they wouldn’t have explained the content to parents beforehand in an email.
We are sent that year’s sex education contents annually and we have to consent to our child being taught it (never seen anything controversial in it so far).

I would tell the Head teacher how upset your child has been, and ask them to provide you with the lesson plan and what evidence do they have that boys can be girls and girls can be boys. This is just the time to use your inner Lioness, your daughter is asking for your support

it looks like 1 in 1500
I think you mean people with dsds. They are not trans.
And in my decades of experience in education I have come across zero children with a difference of sexual development.
But at least two deaf children, muscular dystrophy etc. Only once has a targeted assembly been done and that was an actual child wanting to share their experiences af
Where's the big push to get their voices heard?

It’s too confusing for small children. Are there still Tomboys? The main one from our school is married with two children, and still tomboyish. Justin, who preferred playing with girls, rather than football is still a man, with a husband. Nowadays would they have been pressurised into changing sex?

Complain to the school. What is there to mull over?

@Yaya26

Was this about gender or was it about equality? Girls can do whatever boys can do etc? It's still a pretty crap assembly though. Of course boys and girls can do whatever takes their fancy.

The problem is that this is pretty much the opposite of what is being taught. That's what we were taught at school.

Our children are now being taught that if you are a girl and you want to play football...you might be a boy.

For decades there has been a few boys in every reception class that dresses up in the princess dress every day and nobody took any notice. Now, he's being told he is absolutely grand for dressing up in that dress...he might be a girl.

@rainrainraincamedowndowndown

The fact is, there are children born ambiguous, so I don't think it's a bad idea to share the information from early age, so those who suffers doesn't feel different and discriminated. From data, it looks like 1 in 1500, so it's rare, but not totally rare either. It maybe confusing for normal children, but what about the children born different? That's my thinking.

These children born with sexual development disorders are STILL either male or female.

Their condition has been hijacked to somehow 'prove' that cross dressing males are women.

It sound like someone tried to explain trans and confused everyone which is very easy because of you can’t explain gender without stereotypes you end up saying that the stereotypes define the gender and then you must be the gender that fits the stereotype.

Back in history:
Only boys play football
Only girls play with dolls
Anything else is abnormal

Some magical period in the 1970s-1990s:
Boys and girls can play with dolls and play football. You are normal.

Now
If you play with dolls you are a girl
If you play football you are a boy
It is normal to change gender and take medications

What I am trying to teach my kid:

Girls normally have vaginas. Boys normally have willies. Girls grow up to be women. Boys grow up to be men. When this happens it is all puberty. Women have a eggs and a womb and inside where they can grow a baby after having sex and breasts that make milk to feed the baby. Men have a penis and use this to give the women sperm in her vagina that meets an egg and makes it grow into a baby. When women are not having a baby they get rid of the egg and womb lining by bleeding from their vagina once a month. This is called a period.

Until we are grown ups we should not have sex. What is under our pants in private to us and we should not show it to people. If someone tries to look or touch under your pants tell a grown up you like.

Girls can play football
Boys can wear dresses
Other than the making and breastfeeding of babies there is nothing that is only a “man’s job” or a “womens job”

Women can love men, women, both or neither. Men can love women, men, both or neither. Some people are mean to other people because of who they love. We should not do this.

Some men feel like they should be women and some women feel like they should be men. Sometimes doctors help people change what they look like because of this. Some people are mean to them because of this. We should not be mean to them. If you feel like this you should tell a grown up. We should always call people the name they want to be called and not pick on people because they look different to what we are used to.

People come in lots of different colours and from different places. People from different places may talk differently to us, dress differently, eat different food and have different rules. Wherever someone comes from or what they look like does not make them any less people just like us. Some people are mean to them because of this, we must not do this. It is exciting and fun to learn about all these places and people but we must still keep to our important rules about being nice to others and our private parts and tell a grown up if you are worried.

It seems simple to me!