AIBU to feel overwhelmed by non-binary, cancel culture, and woke society?

[FordSiesta]

I've got to the stage where I feel quite apprehensive about the future. It just feels like there will be no 'men' or 'women' or 'boys' and 'girls' and everyone will need to conform to various gender identities and have to remember all the different ways people identify so as not to accidently offend anyone. I'm supportive of transgender people and understand people changing from male to female or vice versa but now there's all this non-binary stuff it's getting confusing.

All these things going on in this 'woke society' and if you aren't seen as wanting to conform with all this new stuff then the 'cancel culture' comes at you.

I just feel like I would be happy if there wasn't so much pressure placed on people to get pronouns correct if for millions of years we've used he/him and she/her and now we need to say they/them when we were taught in school they/them was plural.

I don't have kids yet but I do wonder if I did what the world would be like for them growing up.

AIBU for wanting to just continue with two genders?

Just because they wouldn't have access to their medication, doesn't mean they would stop existing.

Quite. So perhaps they should think twice about the wisdom of undergoing medical transition when all they are doing is making cosmetic changes to their bodies (at risk to their health) which do not actually change their sex, given that access to the drugs and follow up surgery they need cannot be guaranteed for their entire life span.

And the trans community are our allies, not our enemies!

Fluff and nonsense, I'm afraid.

We no longer have a word for female people or the right to any single sex spaces or sporting categories from which male people can be excluded.

I would much rather people had the option to be queer, assexual,nonbinary or whatever than be persecuted for who they are
Same

But what would “persecution” look like?

Verbal or physical abuse would be dealt with just as in any other scenario

But what persecution are you referring to beyond that?

We no longer have a word for female people or the right to any single sex spaces or sporting categories from which male people can be excluded.

The word is woman. No one has taken the word away from you or any other woman.

There is an overwhelming body of research to suggest that affirming the deluded fantasies of these teenagers causes more harm and an increase in suicidal ideation than simply not affirming.

Any other disordered thinking is considered to be a symptom of mental illness. In no other circumstances would anyone affirm the delusions or false beliefs for fear of compounding and reinforcing the delusions into accepted reality, often with dire consequences.

I work with LAC and the number of children coming into care with gender dysphoria now equals the number of children without gender identity issues. Every second referral. All of these children present with mental health problems and its difficult to disentangle whether disordered thinking about their subjectivity is causing poor mental health, or whether poor mental health and trauma is causing gender dysphoria. What can not be disputed is that in all cases these young people have suffered early trauma from parenting that was less than good enough for the child to have secure attachments and a clear sense of their own identity and high self esteem. Most of the children have emotional dysregulation on a scale to the a degree that they fit the criteria for mental illness and not EBD. None of the people I work with are prepared to challenge the liberal gender ideology, and most positively affirm the child's distorted view of themselves. No one is prepared to stick their neck out because they fear being called a bigot or sacked. Social workers are reporting the same.

All of the young people who we work with who have identified as trans have suicidal ideation and they are all prolific self-harmers. Some are on the strongest anti-psychotics and most are on a sort of merry go round between various psych units and community placements. Several have severe psychotic symptoms and hallucinations, others are very clearly BPD with psychotic symptoms. In fact there is research that indicates that BPD is co-morbid in many cases of gender dysphoria. I can not imagine a day at work where I would say to little Sally "yes of course you are Jesus christ" A great deal of harm is being done in the name of being "nice" Woke ideas are more than just an irritating minefield.

I really do think (And this won't be popular) that there have been huge shifts in society in how we parent our children, and this is now beginning to have a profound effect. I believe that gender dysphoria has its roots in early childhood, and culture of social influences of post-modernist philosophy which underpins liberal thinking in advanced capitalism privileges desire over duty, fantasy over reality, ideology over facts, and individuation over collectivism. We have made such a virtue of the liberal concept of the individual that it has led to narcissism. Its only now that we have the scientific and technological advancements that we can also start to play god, in the belief that we are born in the wrong bodies. This phenomena isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

The other contentious thing I will say, is that I really think that feminists haven't helped matters when cultural feminism shifted its focus from sex to gender in the universities, again due to post-modernist claptrap.

@CorrBlimeyGG

We no longer have a word for female people or the right to any single sex spaces or sporting categories from which male people can be excluded.

The word is woman. No one has taken the word away from you or any other woman.

I disagree.

When I say I am a woman, I mean I am a female person. If the word "woman" is now a gender identity which includes male people, it is meaningless to me. If I want to identify myself purely by reference to my biological sex (which I do), I can no longer do that.

@Noisyneighneigh

Sex not gender. Gender is made up toxic bollocks

This

The word is woman. No one has taken the word away from you or any other woman
Corblimey
Refreshing to read, and yes! Completely agree, I'm still called a woman.

@EeeICouldRipATissue

The word is woman. No one has taken the word away from you or any other woman Corblimey Refreshing to read, and yes! Completely agree, I'm still called a woman.

Except that it no longer means female person, but someone with a "gender identity" of "woman".

What does that mean? Because I'm sure I don't know.

And what word can I use when I want to make it clear that I am talking about female people, not including male people who believe they are women?

Dread to think what you wrote @VelvetChairGirl

Been on the vodka?!

@NannyOggsWhiskyStash

As a parent of a gay son, a heterosexual daughter, and a non binary pansexual person, personally I find it enlightened that young people have a safe space, and language to explain how they feel, and what they are. Do I think it's trendy at times, yes,but I would much rather people had the option to be queer, assexual,nonbinary or whatever than be persecuted for who they are. And the trans community are our allies, not our enemies!

Hope you hide your saucepans when they come to visit.

There is no logical coherence to the arguements for non binary identities; it's extremely oppressive to insist that another person's subjective self perception should become my reality and that I am guilty of bigotry and hatred if I refuse to comply.

Hope you hide your saucepans when they come to visit.

The word is woman. No one has taken the word away from you or any other woman.
Except they have. Men can now be called women.
You're either disingenuous or you've been living under a rock.

The word is woman. No one has taken the word away from you or any other woman

And yet there news articles and Twitter threads today discussing whether Adele is a TERF for referring to herself as a woman and a female. It's incredibly disingenuous to tell women they are mistaken about the erasure of women and our right to use sex specific language when they are describing what is happening right in front of them.

Absolutely superb post, @MiniTheMinx. Some very chilling points made. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences, they’re really enlightening and I think they need to be more widely acknowledged, accepted and investigated.

Hope you hide your saucepans when they come to visit

Wow, that's an original one, bet no pansexual person has ever heard that before!
sarcasm mode

@CorrBlimeyGG

We no longer have a word for female people or the right to any single sex spaces or sporting categories from which male people can be excluded.

The word is woman. No one has taken the word away from you or any other woman.

So we can all agree then that trans women are not women. So the word will not be taken away from women. Great news.

When I say I am a woman, I mean I am a female person. If the word "woman" is now a gender identity which includes male people, it is meaningless to me. If I want to identify myself purely by reference to my biological sex (which I do), I can no longer do that.

So the only person denying that you are a woman is yourself. That's ridiculous.

The rest of us will continue to use the word woman.

So we can all agree then that trans women are not women. So the word will not be taken away from women. Great news.

I am a woman. A trans woman can be a woman as well. Another person using the term does not change who I am.

@EeeICouldRipATissue

Hope you hide your saucepans when they come to visit

Wow, that's an original one, bet no pansexual person has ever heard that before!
sarcasm mode

About as original as "pansexuality" aka bisexuality.

Another person using the term does not change who I am
Exactly

@CorrBlimeyGG

So we can all agree then that trans women are not women. So the word will not be taken away from women. Great news.

I am a woman. A trans woman can be a woman as well. Another person using the term does not change who I am.

But it does because a trans woman is a man. So you're allowing men to be called women. Women are women, trans women are men.