To feel upset that DH has gone awol on new years eve?

[puddingandcream]

Well all over christmas I have been ill with a viral infection and sickness and have felt completly washed out and generally feeling sick all the time.

DH has been good,sharing the cooking and getting up with the children while I have had a few lie ins and tidying the kitchen most days.
Things that I do everyday normally anyway but he feels like I have been taking the piss.

Anyway today he decides he is walking into town to pay some bills and have a quick pint at the pub ,this was 12.45pm.

4.52pm and he is still not home.
So will imagine by now he is quite drunk and bang goes our new years evening.

We had no plans as such but now am sat here wondering what time and what state he will be in when he fianlly gets in and am feeling sick and anxious worrying how he will be.

Am I unreasonable to expect him to be here on new years eve with his family or as he has been doing most of the work over christmas should I let it go as he deserves it.
He is probably doing this to get back at me.

I asked him how long he would be,he said an hour or 2 .

hi mumzy are you around

I hope you are ok, let us know that you are safe. X

God I feel bad for you ladies all I can say i that I hope you use this year to seek help / make changes and next new year it is happy things we are readng about. I accept its easy for me sitting here to say this but I do understand I had an extremely turbulent upbringing and it can be done. X

Thinking of you all. Let it be a Happy New Year.

Oh dear. I can totally sympathise. Two years ago on boxing day mt recently ex-bf strangled me and I had to get the police involved. He had been violent before and I had caught him cheating so we had split but went to the same boxing day party and ended up ata friends house.

Unless these men agree to change and to stop drinking now then get rid of them. New Year, New Life.

Mumzyof2, get out, NOW you cannot risk losing your baby because of this maniac, even normally violent men often wouldn't touch their partner whilst pregnant.

If any of you want to talk I have been in your situations, I shan't be about today but I will tomorrow any of you can email me on fan-fkn-tastic @ hotmail. co. uk (no spaces)

Please do not allow these men to walk all over you lie this. Once they have got away with it once they will continue to do it. In their minds they are already 'allowed' as you haven't left

Pudding, Mehdi & Mumzy.. i hope you're all ok this morning. Was thinking of you all night.

pudding, mehdi and mumzy... for you, it shouldn't be like that. i do hope you can find happiness (and freedom) in 2008. mumzy, i do think your situation is very urgent indeed, you poor woman, you should get out of there asap. have any of you phoned Women's Aid?

Please phone Women's Aid the three of you- I will beg and plead for you to do so if I have to. You poor, poor souls- hope 2008 is the year you get to move on XXX

Pudding your Dh is out of order it's not your fault that you are ill. He should help you without resenting it.I have been ill for the past 3 weeks and my Dh has ben very helpful and tells me I should rest. Is there anyone you could talk to?

hi dh back to being a normal human being. Had to take tonight off work as i feel so weak. Just been to doctor who says i have viral gastro bug. What the hell that is i dont know. Had to take ds with me as dh still asleep. Ds driving me mad wont sit still for five mins wouldnt believe he is poorly as well! Thought about you all day mumsy and pudding. My email address is [email protected] if you just need a rant. Gonna speak to someone from camden womens aid as soon as possible. That the hardest step. Admitting there is a problem.

VS- sadly statistically women are more likely to be attacked whilst pregnant , shite isn't it?

Good for you mehdi, and you are right about admitting it being the hardest so you should feel proud of yourself for taking that step.

Really Peachy? I used to hang aroudn with a group of friends in which domestic violence was actually seen as the 'norm', mainly when the man was drunk he would 'lash out as such, but they all accepted it.
The guys friends and family all seemed to think it was to be expected too and almost acceptable, though had the women been pregnant and attacked it would have been less acceptable to everyone else iyswim.
Maybe it was just less talked about than the rest of it.
I still can't beleive now that it was seen as so normal

where dh is from it is shown on soap opera but not as a shocking thing but as part of everyday life

I know what you mean mehdi.
When my ex was violent towards me everyone knew and no-one really said anything about it, I was even thoguht of as overreacting whenever I tried to leave him

When he finally got caught with another woman people still seemed to think I was overreacting but I felt like I had a valid 'excuse' to leave him at long last.

If my current DP hit me now his parents would probably disown him and none of his friends would believe it, much less stick up for him, but then they wouldn't expect him to go the pub and get in a fight either whereas exdp and all his friends did regularly, so I can see now that it often isn't a regular part of life, unless you choose to hang with violent people.

its just very sad because generations of men are growing up thinking its ok. They just hang around in groups and when they come here they get a big shock

Anyone heard from pudding today? Is she ok?

hi no havent heard a thing hope she is ok. I thought my dh was bad. If you reading this pudding just let us all know you ok. And mumsy too. Love mehdismummy(used to be mehdi)

well done, mehdi, that's a huge step forward for you. no pressure, though, take things at a pace you're comfortable with.
(you may want to reconsider having your email address up there like that, it will get you a lot of junk mail. people normally do it as 'example dot surname at isp dot com', if you know what i mean?

Well,have had a quiet day today.

Talked to DH a bit and of course he was feeling really teary and said he did'nt mean to hurt me.

We just spent the day with the children watching films and packing away the christmas decorations and generally just staying calm.

I just felt a bit numb all day and not sure what to think or feel.

hey pudding glad you ok. Mine been ok too. Till the next time. Please keep posting. Even if you have nothing to report. Love to you

hi, sorry i didnt come on the other night and let everyone know i was ok. im ok, quite bruised, have decided im going to move ou and try and find my own home. dont want to make an enemy of my partner because it was completely out of character, and hes been crying for two days because he feels so bad, but it doesnt take away my shock or pain.
he says it was down to the drink, and has vowed never to drink again(but how many men have said that??), because hes shocked himself so much. but il never feel 100% safe with him again, so need to move out i think. hope everyone else is ok - bloody men, eh?

I really hope you follow through with moving out what he did was totally totally unforgivable. Good luck for your new life and new baby!

hi mumzy glad you are ok well at least outwardly. Just plan what you are gonna do carefully. Is there family you can go to. Can he move out to somewhere else.

is there a reason why he can't move out? you don't really need the upheaval, do you?