To be hugely offended

[Queenie6655]

Hello

Prepared to be told off guys but really bloody peeved

So as talked about on other threads fleeing dv and ended up back with my parents for a while

Lovely house
Old
Warm
Needs some paint
Stairs are rickety
But otherwise absolutely fine

Anyway
Health visitor here earlier and she was so so rude about the stairs
Said they were unsightly and it was a concern to her !!!!

She knows my situation
Knows we are stuck for cash

I just burst into tears and she left shortly after

So annoyed now
Don't have the money to get a painter in but rest of house is 100 per cent fine
Warm and safe !!!!!

I would report this HV to her boss. My HV always had a heavy cold on the 3 occasions she visited (in 2 years). I thought you had to let them in if you had young children, apparently this is not the case.

@Huntswomanonthemove

Oh goody, another Health Visitor thread.

You don't have to read it.

I'm not sure the HV is helping you at all here. Can you say you don't need one thanks? I have never seen one. My DS is 22 months. Covid stopped all that and they haven't bothered since.

What a strange word to use. Unsightly. Implying that she just doesn't like the aesthetic rather than it being anything to do with health and safety, and thus completely irrelevant.

My health visitor said to me on her birth visit just after she walked through the door 'I take it that the baby was unplanned then'. I have no idea what led her to think, and then ask, this question. I have no idea why I didn't assert myself! Two minutes later she said 'now, you know that you must not shake the baby'. Just said it out of nowhere. I'm a social worker

Health visitors are mostly weird. Thenones round here are barking mad. Ignore her, really.

Social workers you may have to listen to. Health visitors are supposed to provide support and instead sneak about like the baby insoection police. Best ignored.

Hi @Queenie6655

I'm a HV. I love my job and get on with my families. I would never dream of saying that to one of my mum's.

Re yours and baby's 6 week check - GP will do a 6-8 week postnatal check on you & baby and maybe do their immunisations. The HV check is checking in with you to see how you are, how baby is, how their feeding etc. we also do measurements, so weight, length & head circumference. It might differ where you are, though.

You are doing a great job.

And can I say to all the HV bashers - we aren't all shite, there are some of us who enjoy our jobs and feel we make a real difference. Please don't tar us all with the same brush.

@whistleryukon

What a strange word to use. Unsightly. Implying that she just doesn't like the aesthetic rather than it being anything to do with health and safety, and thus completely irrelevant.

My health visitor said to me on her birth visit just after she walked through the door 'I take it that the baby was unplanned then'. I have no idea what led her to think, and then ask, this question. I have no idea why I didn't assert myself! Two minutes later she said 'now, you know that you must not shake the baby'. Just said it out of nowhere. I'm a social worker

Just because you are a SW doesn't mean anything. Sadly, I've had some safeguarding concerns with parents who are SWs.

Just like because I am a nurse & HV doesn't mean anything.

@eatyourcrustspls

Hi *@Queenie6655*

I'm a HV. I love my job and get on with my families. I would never dream of saying that to one of my mum's.

Re yours and baby's 6 week check - GP will do a 6-8 week postnatal check on you & baby and maybe do their immunisations. The HV check is checking in with you to see how you are, how baby is, how their feeding etc. we also do measurements, so weight, length & head circumference. It might differ where you are, though.

You are doing a great job.

And can I say to all the HV bashers - we aren't all shite, there are some of us who enjoy our jobs and feel we make a real difference. Please don't tar us all with the same brush.

Yes yes yes

Oh my goodness the difference and the help from my first Hv

I can't fully explain it

She had this magical touch
And it helped me so so much on so many levels

Plus when I was minimising the abuse she called me out on it and didn't take any covering up for my ex
She was an angel and has since retired sadly

Please to the HV who do amazing work

Do. Not think I'm trying g to offend you all

I just wanted to rant and to also see if I need to have her back (like in the same way as other professionals may work)

There are good and bad examples jn all professions

And again jus to add I'm so happy I have had a great one previously xxxxxx

Wtf? I don't think 'unsightly stairs' would be anyone's priority under those circumstances or even under normal, busy schedule circumstances. What an idiot of a woman!

She may have been thinking of the child if the staircase is rickety also maybe you coming down it with a child? I’m sure she meant it in a child protection way but that does sound rude

LOL she's concerned about an ugly staircase? Tell her to report you to ss if she has concerns about your child's safety, they will do just about fuck all about a staircase.

@eatyourcrustspls

Hi *@Queenie6655*

I'm a HV. I love my job and get on with my families. I would never dream of saying that to one of my mum's.

Re yours and baby's 6 week check - GP will do a 6-8 week postnatal check on you & baby and maybe do their immunisations. The HV check is checking in with you to see how you are, how baby is, how their feeding etc. we also do measurements, so weight, length & head circumference. It might differ where you are, though.

You are doing a great job.

And can I say to all the HV bashers - we aren't all shite, there are some of us who enjoy our jobs and feel we make a real difference. Please don't tar us all with the same brush.

How their feeding is

@Queenie6655

Please to the HV who do amazing work

Do. Not think I'm trying g to offend you all

I just wanted to rant and to also see if I need to have her back (like in the same way as other professionals may work)

There are good and bad examples jn all professions

And again jus to add I'm so happy I have had a great one previously xxxxxx

I didn't think you were offending at all, it was clear it was about that one HV

It's the other posts about how to sit on a toilet etc

Ignore her, she may come back having reflected on her visit and say she was out of order saying that.

Enjoy the baby days - I loved the baby phase. It goes far too quickly!

Rickety doesn't mean in need of paint! Rickety means unsafe, I guarantee she's not having a pop at your paint job!! Clearly ther is a concern around the safety of the stairs. Stairs are death traps for babies amd toddlers, it's her job to make sure all is well in the house. Get somone out to make the stairs sound, there's obviously an issue

I doubt very much the op is living in a house where the stairs are actually unsafe. My stairs are safe and I managed to fall down them, top to bottom, but that's another story.

Obviously not all HVs are rubbish, the ones that are give all the others a bad name. However there is no doubt that many people have poor experiences with them. Anyway, nobody has to be seen by a health visitor.

@MissMaple82

Rickety doesn't mean in need of paint! Rickety means unsafe, I guarantee she's not having a pop at your paint job!! Clearly ther is a concern around the safety of the stairs. Stairs are death traps for babies amd toddlers, it's her job to make sure all is well in the house. Get somone out to make the stairs sound, there's obviously an issue

There is not

I used the word rickety to start with

They are safe

In need of a good dusting down and a big paint job
She had no need to open her mouth
We are down stairs
Baby is 3 weeks old
Ffs

I feel like I don't want to engage with her for both of us

I wish I was able to brush this off

It's like I made it this far

And tried so hard

For some fckwit to knock me down

@Babdoc I'm pretty lead paint went out in the early eighties, so I seriously doubt there would be a risk from it in OP's parents' house

[quote Coyoacan]@Babdoc I'm pretty lead paint went out in the early eighties, so I seriously doubt there would be a risk from it in OP's parents' house[/quote]
Never even thought of that ??!!

my friend was basically dying after ther first childbirth and had to just sleep 24/7 whilst her mum cared for baby. .. 5 days after being resuscitated and all sorts and the HV told her she shouldnt just be cooped up in bed and should try get some exercise and cleanup as the kitchen was messy and mess isn't good for mental health. like wtf.. she literally nearly died and lost a shit on of blood, sleep is the only thing needing to happen - _-

Yes, I know lead paint has been illegal for years, but many old properties have several layers of paint on woodwork - and the bottom layer can be lead based if it’s old enough. Once it all starts flaking, the lead layer can be exposed.
Similarly, houses had asbestos in ceilings up til 2000. It was usually painted over, but sanding or drilling the ceilings releases it.

@eatyourcrustspls

There were no safeguarding concerns. As outlined in my post. She just said 'you do know that you mustn't shake the baby' with no precursor. Do you think that's an acceptable thing for a health visitor to randomly say on a birth visit?

[quote whistleryukon]@eatyourcrustspls

There were no safeguarding concerns. As outlined in my post. She just said 'you do know that you mustn't shake the baby' with no precursor. Do you think that's an acceptable thing for a health visitor to randomly say on a birth visit?[/quote]
No, of course I don't think it's an acceptable thing to say.

But your comment about being a social worker comes across as that you should be exempt from all things to do with child safety as you may know it all 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sheesh

Mine was invited to leave

Among her gems were

Ooh you need to get rid of you dogs, they’re dangerous (two drooling eejits)

Your husband beats your doesn’t he?

Wake the baby every four hours to feed or they might die.

She never did come back.