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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddler pack lunch in cafes

548 replies

Casheeeew · 07/02/2022 14:51

I eat a about 3 cafes near me regularly, but only once per week, occasionally twice. I have always taken my son (18months) a full packed lunch, and I buy myself lunch and a coffee.

Its never occured to me to question this until today. Is he too old to be having home brought food?

They do have a kids menu but I prefer him to have a selection of things to pick at that I know he'll like.

Aibu - or if not, how long before he's too old?

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/02/2022 14:52

I think that’s weird unless a specific allergy / diet requirements and if I was a cafe owner I wouldn’t actually allow it

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 07/02/2022 14:52

At that age I got my dc either a cheese toastie or a toasted teacake! You can't take a packed lunch into a cafe!
Shock

Redlorryyellowduck · 07/02/2022 14:54

6eah he's too old, you need to buy lunch. Weaned toddlers shouldn't be bringing a pack up.

astoundedgoat · 07/02/2022 14:54

Honestly, so long as they have small enough portions I would be inclined to buy his lunch because it's no harm getting him used to eating different things when you're out and about with him.

Hockeyboysmum · 07/02/2022 14:54

Yabu. I take a few snacks for my almost 2 yr old incase nothing dairy free for him. There is almost always something he can have though.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 07/02/2022 14:55

Sorry OP, you're a bit of a CF.

You are taking up time and space but bringing your own food. Fair enough if they were a baby and you were feeding them Ella's kitchen pouches or something, but at 18 months you can find things off the menu that they will eat.

Original poster
Casheeeew · 07/02/2022 14:56

Oh no!! They must hate me, I thought I was a regular that they liked. I have been so oblivious Confused

OP posts:
Lockheart · 07/02/2022 14:56

Unless his packed lunch is baby food or he has extremely difficult allergies, YABVU.

RandomQuest · 07/02/2022 14:59

Yeah sorry way too old unless he has severe allergies. I think it stops being acceptable when they can eat real food and not just puréed mush. I wouldn’t do it beyond about 8/9 months personally.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 07/02/2022 15:00

You're taking up a table which could be filled by 2 paying customers and at 18 months you'll be taking longer than the average customer to eat the home-brought food and probably making a bigger mess too (regardless of if you clean this up after, you're still making the space 'unusable' for someone else in the meantime).

Russell19 · 07/02/2022 15:00

Yes YABU. It may be slightly better if you bought him something but kept the food as a back up just incase....

Opus17 · 07/02/2022 15:01

Haha I'm in the minority then. I also have a DS (18 months) and would bring his half sandwich with me. I'd of course buy myself a coffee and something to eat. I don't see anything wrong with it. A single person is allowed to take up a table, who cares if that person also has a kid with them?

He still doesn't eat much and it would be such a waste of money to buy him a 4 pound cheese toastie 🙄

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/02/2022 15:01

I’ve always fed DD stuff from my plate. That’s how they get a range of food.

Ohdoleavemealone · 07/02/2022 15:02

Yeah you need to buy something. Even if it is an extra side for you and then he has some of yours.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/02/2022 15:02

I think at that age you could pick him a cheese scone or something then just supplement it with some fruit from home.

HairsprayBabe · 07/02/2022 15:03

I take spare snacks for my 18mo usually a banana and some breadsticks plus emergency rasins just incase service is slow but he either has his own order or shares with me.

Wouldn't take a full lunch for him unless there was an allergy issue.

Aprilx · 07/02/2022 15:03

@Casheeeew

Oh no!! They must hate me, I thought I was a regular that they liked. I have been so oblivious Confused
I think hate is a strong word, but they must be irritated by you. Even if it didn’t mean paying customers were walking away because you were taking up space, they are having to clean up and sanitise after you. I am amazed anyone could be this oblivious. 🙄
SnailAndAWhale · 07/02/2022 15:03

My eldest is 3 and I regularly do this - didn’t realise the majority thought it was CF territory! I have a baby (5 months) too and we often meet friends in cafes in the week. I always buy myself a hot drink and often lunch, and in fairness the toddler will usually have a babyccino so I do buy something for her, but she’s rubbish with a toastie / sandwich so I usually take a box with several picky bits I know she’ll like, which means she’ll sit and eat rather than mess around with something she doesn’t want to eat.

JustBlethering · 07/02/2022 15:04

I think he's too old. I think after about 12 months when they're able to eat a wide variety of things and you don't need to worry about salt content as much, then you'd start buying their lunch at the cafe.

theruffles · 07/02/2022 15:05

I tend to take DC snacky things (yoghurt, melty crisps, etc) but will buy them something off the menu if we go to a cafe - toast, sandwich, toastie or just a biscuit. I'd feel a bit cheeky taking a whole packed lunch in even if I was buying a coffee/cake.

Soubriquet · 07/02/2022 15:05

Yeah yabu

I have photos of my dd making a mess but eating a cheese toastie when she was a toddler. I still took a pouch of food for her to eat if she didn’t manage to eat much of the toastie but I ordered for her.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 07/02/2022 15:08

Most places will accommodate you ordering 'off menu' for kids within reason. So you could ask for carrot and cucumber sticks or a plain cheese sandwich and they'll stick it through the till as a small side dish or something for £1. I used to do this with DS. Or I'd buy something for me that had an element of something I knew he would eat and get me another side dish or something so wasn't buying a full second meal.

RainbowGlass · 07/02/2022 15:09

I work in a cafe. Our rule is only food bought in the cafe can be eaten there. Sorry YABU.

Formula, breast milk (even if in a bottle) or similar is fine though.

One mum comes in and buys 2 slices of toast and just gives her similar aged son half a slice, that's fine as she's paid for it.

Crimesean · 07/02/2022 15:09

At that age I'd give DS something from my plate - we'd share a jacket potato, or a sandwich, or whatever. He wasn't a big eater so I'd not go hungry - if your DS eats lots you could always order an extra slice of toast, or some chips, or a scone or something to supplement it.

RavenT · 07/02/2022 15:12

At that age always got my DS a toasted teacake or crumpets from the menu which he loved.