Toddler pack lunch in cafes

[Casheeeew]

I eat a about 3 cafes near me regularly, but only once per week, occasionally twice. I have always taken my son (18months) a full packed lunch, and I buy myself lunch and a coffee.

Its never occured to me to question this until today. Is he too old to be having home brought food?

They do have a kids menu but I prefer him to have a selection of things to pick at that I know he'll like.

Aibu - or if not, how long before he's too old?

If the café owners are okay with it, I wouldn't stress. Doesn't matter what other people think.

I think you’re on the cusp where you should be buying something and using snacks as a top-up I needed. I’d still bring some raisins or something with me in case of long waits for my nearly 3yo but would feel bad whipping out a lunchbox etc.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Not at 18 months

I also think it depends how much you’re spending. If you’re spending a couple of quid on a coffee and taking up a table for half an hour or more while your toddler’s making a godawful mess eating his picnic then it’s a bloody cheek. If however you’re spending £20 or so then I wouldn’t feel so bad about it.

I don’t see anything wrong with it. I’d rather know my toddler is getting a nutritious meal than the rubbish they have on “kids menus” You are buying a meal, it’s not like you are just ordering a coffee.

@Casheeeew I used to ask for an entree-size portion of an adult's main meal and I don't remember ever being refused.

Usually, a pasta-type dish, steamed chicken, rice etc as we had those at home. Cut it up into small manageable sizes. It was a good introduction to eating out.

ps. I have a personal dislike of children's menus and felt exonerated when DD started pre-school. The co-owner was a former Chef and he was keen on child nutrition and getting the good stuff into them without fuss.

I think it's something you can do gradually, next time you go ask your DS what he would like from the café, even if it is a biscuit or bread and butter 'soldiers'.

@Holskey

And seriously do people think buying their kid a slice of toast is going to keep a cafe afloat and the owner is going to personally thank them?!!!! This thread is mad, can’t believe it’s still going!

We’ve been avoiding restaurants as my six year old is so fussy and won’t eat anything in them. We now book ahead and ask if it’s okay for us to bring a tescos meal deal (three people still eating their food), none have said no yet.

Personally, I would not be surprised if they chose to avoid such confrontation, even when they would rather people didn’t bring their own food in with them.

But it’s not people bringing their own food; it’s one woman buying a cafe meal for herself and giving a few snacky bits to her baby.

It might also be worth asking if a cafe can do something off menu, if there’s nothing on the menu that’s suitable.

A lot of cafes only have pre-prepared stuff. They don’t have the staff numbers to rustle up something extra.

Including one I go to that has pre-prepared toasties to be heated up but would be hard pressed to actually provide a single slice of buttered toast.

@Casheeeew I used to ask for an entree-size portion of an adult's main meal and I don't remember ever being refused.

Usually, a pasta-type dish, steamed chicken, rice etc as we had those at home. Cut it up into small manageable sizes. It was a good introduction to eating out.

I’d have done that with my 3 year old, as he just didn’t like the typical kids menu. But at 18 months it would have been a waste. That also sounds like a proper restaurant, rather the usual lunchtime cafe.

I think it's something you can do gradually, next time you go ask your DS what he would like from the café, even if it is a biscuit or bread and butter 'soldiers'.

I know this is Mumsnet, but that presupposes that an 18 month old can articulate exactly what they want!

@appleturnovers

So why do they take their toddlers to cafes then? Take them somewhere they'll eat the food on offer or have a picnic or something.

Christ alive, sometimes you're just shopping in town and you're tired and hungry and it's raining and you just want to sit down somewhere as quickly as possible and don't have time to research cafes with dedicated healthy toddler menus. Or sometimes you're with a group of adults and you have to just go with the group. I know perfect people plan every single second of every day and never have anything unforeseen arise, but not all of us are able to live up to such prodigious expectations, so shoot us. Some of us venture further than our home towns and end up places we're not familiar with too! Oh no, call the police! As far as I'm concerned, if it provides high chairs then they're happy to accept small children (and Starbucks etc. do have highchairs).

What is "food for toddlers"? Most coffee shops sell sandwiches, toasties, biscuits, cake etc. It's not like it's all oysters and champagne.

Well there's a massive difference between 14 months and 3 and a half years, isn't there? Many younger toddlers are still grappling with different tastes and textures, they don't even have all their teeth yet, lots of things are too tough for them to chew, they're often fussy, they throw things on the floor. Lots of children's meals and cafe food generally has way too much salt for little ones and no fruit or vegetable content whatsoever. Unhealthy food might be no big deal if it's a one-off, but if it's going to be a long day and you've got to have lunch and tea out and about, or if it's the 4th day in a row that you're eating out because you're a terribly neglectful mother and a harlot you're on holiday, or you've just had a very busy week, then it's not really a viable option.

At the end of the day, if the cafes were actually bothered by it, they'd say something. The fact they don't clearly means they're not bothered.

Well said :)

@TrippinEdBalls

So why do they take their toddlers to cafes then? Take them somewhere they'll eat the food on offer or have a picnic or something.

People seem to think that all cafe food will give their child instant fatal salt poisoning (but that the cheese sandwich they make at home is salt-free )

Cheese has calcium and fat. Bread is a carb. My DS also has things like oat cakes or breadsticks, so these are all salt intakes. And they all add up. I don't want him to have salted butter when I have unsalted butter at home.

Even if some people think I'm OTT I am going to feed my son how I feel comfortable. One day I won't be able to stop him eating chips (for example) so why would I introduce him to stuff like that now when he doesn't even know what he's "missing".

@CocoPrivileges

Maybe it's the parents who turn up at restaurants armed with their own "picky bits" or packed lunches who reinforce the problem of their child being so fussy in the first place? (Obviously allergies etc are a different matter.) It's not something that would have occurred to me to do...surely there would always be something suitable on the menu?

I think it's an age thing. My DD is 4 and has hot dinners at school, which she will eat even tho if I cooked it at home she wouldnt. My 18 month old I can't reason with so when out and about tired and hungry I just want a safe option that i know will prevent him from having a meltdown. It's not always the time or place for a exploring new foods

@CocoPrivileges

I do it because I want my youngest to eat well and not kids meals crap!

I remember at that age being dismayed to discover kids’ menus are usually very unhealthy and salty. If you’re lucky they might do a jacket potato.

Perhaps you could buy a banana, smoothie, glass of milk or baby snack, and continue to bring the lunchbox. I think it is acceptable until they’re about 2.

Depends whether all their tables are full while you’re in there. If they’re not full then I’m sure they’d rather you only bought one meal rather than the table being empty.

@OnceuponaRainbow18 no need to feed your children "kids' meal crap" as you put it. Just take your kids to decent places. My kids have always eaten well when we've gone out without recourse to nuggets and chips, because that's not the kind of place I would choose to go to. You're the parent - take responsibility!

I’ve literally never taken a packed lunch to a cafe for any of my kids. I just give DS3 (18 months) some of whatever I’m having.

Personally, I prefer my children to just eat a variety of normal foods the same as I do. I wouldn’t want to give him special toddler grazing snack selections to pick at.

@CocoPrivileges

Where do you eat then? As even our local gym just serves crap to the add and the adult meals are far too big and expensive!

I don't see anything wrong with something like fish fingers, chips and peas, it's not like the child will be having it every day. Mine liked that well enough at eighteen months. We always cooked a good, healthy variety of food at home.

@blyn72

I don't see anything wrong with something like fish fingers, chips and peas, it's not like the child will be having it every day. Mine liked that well enough at eighteen months. We always cooked a good, healthy variety of food at home.

Exactly. I don’t know what people think will happen to their child from eating the odd fish finger or chicken nugget! If that’s all they ever eat of course it’s not great but as part of a varied diet it is absolutely fine. The faux horror at these kinds of foods is just ridiculous.

@OnceuponaRainbow18 our local leisure centre has amazing homemade soup and bread which my daughter loved after her swimming lessons before going to nursery.

In our local town there are a couple of independent cafés which do great kids' food. There's a ice-cream farm place which has plenty options too - things like mini ploughman's platters.

On a day out in Edinburgh, our nearest city, we would go to the National Museum of Scotland café, the Storytelling Centre café on the Royal Mile or even Pizza Express.

There are loads of places which serve nice, normal food I'd be happy for my kids to eat and which they would regard as a bit of a treat. I would literally never think of taking a packed lunch.