Toddler pack lunch in cafes

[Casheeeew]

I eat a about 3 cafes near me regularly, but only once per week, occasionally twice. I have always taken my son (18months) a full packed lunch, and I buy myself lunch and a coffee.

Its never occured to me to question this until today. Is he too old to be having home brought food?

They do have a kids menu but I prefer him to have a selection of things to pick at that I know he'll like.

Aibu - or if not, how long before he's too old?

@CMOTDibbler

YABU. Until they needed a whole portion of their own, I just shared with ds - jacket potato, sandwich, whatever. Fair enough to take a breadstick to tide them over if getting hangry, but a full packed lunch esp if they sell anything in there is CF

Why is this better though? . You're still only buying one meal between 2 people?

I wouldn't really think anything of such a young child eating a packed lunch and tbh I'd probably just assume he had allergies/dietary needs which meant he had to have it.

I always have a tub of snacks when I'm out with my toddler. In a cafe I'd order us both a drink plus a cake to share, or lunch for both.

I would supplement with snacks from home because often food takes ages to come or he'd snaffle the cafe food very fast then winge about being bored. I make sure not to leave a mess and I think it's better than other customers having to listen to a toddler whining.

How is giving them some off your plate any better though? They're still not making any money from the toddler.

From experience, majority of the time, if a parent is sharing their dish with the child, they'll order a larger portion or extra sides for them self which means they are spending that bit more than they would have spent if they were there alone.

Op, he's absolutely old enough for sausage casserole. Jealous as my 12 year old wouldn't eat it so I miss sausage casserole too.

@SleepingStandingUp because you go very quickly from not missing a couple of mouthfuls to there not being enough to share and buy an extra side/ some more toast or whatever

Also if these are places you go regularly you just know the menu inside out. So it’s not like you’re worried there won’t be anything suitable on the menu.

I always buy my 17 month old something off the menu in a cafe or restaurant but she gets impatient waiting so I usually give her snacks
biscuits and dried apricots before the food is ready. But that's because I always have them on my bag. I would t make a pack lunch to go to a cafe.

I got booted out of a Tesco café once for giving my toddler a drink that I'd just bought in Tesco while we were queuing to buy lunches in the Tesco café.

Which was nice.

DS was fussy as a toddler so always took a packed lunch with us to cafes/restaurants, however we always ordered him something even if we knew he probably wouldn't eat it.

@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea

How is giving them some off your plate any better though? They're still not making any money from the toddler.

From experience, majority of the time, if a parent is sharing their dish with the child, they'll order a larger portion or extra sides for them self which means they are spending that bit more than they would have spent if they were there alone.

It's also just the principle that you don't eat outside food in a cafe. I mean, by the same logic you could say that it would be fine if OP also bought a packed lunch because she could have just bought a coffee and had no food and the cafe hasn't lost any money compared to her doing that. But that would clearly not be ok.

Most cafes are no outside food rule.
I’d just start ordering him food from now on.
I think the sharing is different as you probably will order more or get a pudding too if you are sharing. Eg toastie and salad you pay for chips too as dc sharing etc.

@RainbowGlass

I work in a cafe. Our rule is only food bought in the cafe can be eaten there. Sorry YABU.

Formula, breast milk (even if in a bottle) or similar is fine though.

One mum comes in and buys 2 slices of toast and just gives her similar aged son half a slice, that's fine as she's paid for it.

How is that logical? If the mum ate all the toast and brought a packed lunch, it would make absolutely no difference .

Op I doubt the cafe owner is bothered unless it’s really busy but why not take a packed lunch and then just buy a bit of something for your son? Then you wouldn’t feel awkward and he’d have something you know he’d like. He’s just a baby! Christ I need to get off Mumsnet before my brain implodes!

I think at that age it’s fine to bring something from home. If no one has said anything I assume they don’t have a problem with it. But you are being unreasonable to have written “pack” lunch in the title instead of packed.

I don't think it's that dramatic. You're buying food and a coffee, the only difference is you have a small child with you.

Whenever I've worked in hospitality I've never questioned anything like this - just assumed that maybe the child is a picky eater or has allergies.

My friend gave her son (2) a full packed lunch in a cafe when we'd only stopped for a coffee and a brownie. I thought it was a bit off!

@SpinningTheSeedsOfLove

I got booted out of a Tesco café once for giving my toddler a drink that I'd just bought in Tesco while we were queuing to buy lunches in the Tesco café.

Which was nice.

Bloody hell, that must have been a real thicko jobsworth.

yanbu , you are still buying something from there so i dont see a problem.
I took my little one nandos a few weeks ago, got her a mealbut i didn't eat as i wasn't hungry.

If you have a fussy child you feed them before you go to the cafe. We've done this in the past with our children, they all had a phase of wanting very plain bland specific things, even if they sold the same in the cafe, eg a plain cheese sandwich theyd turn their nose up as it wasn't EXACTLY the same as the one we made. You can't rock up to a cafe with lunch, (unless you are feeding a small baby who can't eat anything off the menu).

"A single person is allowed to take up a table, who cares if that person also has a kid with them?"

I'd like to see a comparison of clearing up after a single adult and clearing up after a toddler!

Why does it matter? If no one says anything are you hurting anyone?

Surely the main takeaway from this is to just check with cafes in future?

[quote NotMyselfWithoutCoffee]@casheeeew Yanbu I don't get some of these batshit comments.
It's not as if you are not buying any food, for all they know your toddler has specific dietary requirements or is fussy.
I wouldn't bat an eye if a parent brought food for their young child, so long as they actually purchased something.[/quote]
Well then why can't an adult bring their own food? They may also have dietary requirements or be fussy.

@Casheeeew

Oh no!! They must hate me, I thought I was a regular that they liked. I have been so oblivious

But you're still spending money there so I'm sure they do like you (that)

I always thought only food bought in cafe could be consumed there. Most cafes will let you buy a slice of toast.

I work in a large chain cafe and at that age we would ask you to either put it away or leave.

It's just plain rude to take your own food into a cafe, it's not a picnic place!