Page 6 | To wonder if some women possess super powers that I have not been given?

MrsBaublesDylan · 07/02/2022 17:03

Well I was raised to do house work all the fucking time, by two abusive parents.

So no, it's not always how you are raised.

I did more housework at 10 than most women will ever do on a daily basis.

Energy levels my arse. It is just an attempt to make normal women who work hard and try their best feel like shit.

Cuck00soup · 07/02/2022 17:20

People who exercise regularly are prioritising themselves for that period of time.

I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest that people who put themselves first, at least some of the time, are also likely to be more organised in other areas of their life.

It's also important to remember that some people do not have the same choices.

Volhhg · 07/02/2022 17:21

Money, naturally compliant children, in a partnership which is truly equal or not to cover marathon training, has the ability to sleep at night, has no health issues, has a house that's easier to maintain, is out of the house majority of time, has healthy children, has someone giving them downtime away from kids or is just happy without it. So many things

Nomoreusernames1244 · 07/02/2022 17:23

Most likely explanation IMO is she’s come home early from work in order to run round like a blue arsed fly shoving everything in cupboards before you came over.

RussianSpy101 · 07/02/2022 17:25

I wake up earlier than my children go workout and I have a cleaner. Both these things help. Exercising early sets me up for the day and helps my mental health. I eat healthier and I feel more energised.

UndertheCedartree · 07/02/2022 17:26

@Phrenologistsfinger

She has more spoons - more energy, more executive function. I lack both these things and now I know it is because I have ADHD, I am lacking dopamine, not moral fibre.

I can so relate to that idea of moral fibre! I also have executive function problems due to ASD. It is so good to know that and realise it is not your fault that you struggle!

RantyAunty · 07/02/2022 17:30

I find it hard due to ADHD, OCD, and depression.

What helps a lot is not having much stuff. Less to clean and less to put away.

Frustrated1502 · 07/02/2022 17:40

I think it comes down to diet and lifestyle. A good diet, gives energy. And exercise actually increased your natural drive. So once you’re on that wheel, it’s pretty easy to stay on it!
Also as a pp has said….if you keep on top of cleaning, it only takes a quick going over daily and suddenly your life’s more organised.
I often would clean before I went to work, so that when I got home, knowing I’d feel tired along with 3 tired children, the house was at least in order.

WingingItSince1973 · 07/02/2022 17:44

I used to be that woman. Work, kids, horses, immaculate house. Then 7 years ago my body crashed, diagnosed with fibromyalgia and some other conditions. I miss my old life. I have to sleep. I have energy some days and others it's awful. But I still keep a clean house and have started swimming again. I have accepted what I can do but still envious of friends that are still whizzing around.

EdithRea · 07/02/2022 17:49

@Notagoodtime

I have to 2 school age children and work p/t. My house is not the tidiest, I always seem to struggling to keep everything up together and never seem to have the energy to do much exercise. My daughter had become friends with a new girl in her class. Her mum has 3 children, works full time and runs ultra marathons. My dd went for a play date at the weekend and the house was beautiful and the children and lovely and well behaved.Anyone know how to get these super powers? How the hell do some women seem to achieve so much?

I work full-time, train 3x a week and take part in competitions in my sport, occasionally teach students the skill from my area of work and, yeah the house is clean. I like cleaning.

For the cleaning, keep on top of it. A little a day means no big clean at the weekend. Get the kids to help. Even little ones can tidy up toys.
Twice a week, in the evening, DH takes over childcare and cooking and homework encouragement and stuff while I hit the gym. One or two nights a week he might do the same, it's up to him. He's less into exercise and sports than I am.
Weekends. Either we go out as a family, or one of us has the kids while the other goes to hike, bike, lift, climb or do whatever it is we want to do.

I think the two key points are

a) believing you are worth spending some time on and not listening to any nagging doubts that you're being selfish by focusing on you, and

b) a supportive partner. If you're lacking confidence and are married to a man who's barely spoken to your kids since birth and lives on the sofa playing XBox in his pants, it's a lot harder to achieve.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 07/02/2022 17:55

@JurgensCakeBabyJesus

How awful that the assumption is her husband must earn enough to buy in help or she employs someone else! So quick to knock other women. Why can't it just be that she's organised, motivated and energetic? Ask her OP that's the only way you'll know.

On the other hand, I find the automatic assumption that a tidy, organised house must be the 'achievement' of the woman quite quaint. Men are capable of doing housework too. Not that there's anything wrong with paying someone else to do it, or surmising that SHE might earn enough to buy in help (we do). Housework isn't an achievement, not is it an activity confined to those with a uterus.

OP: no one has superpowers (unless you include marathon-running amongst these, which I well might). Household tasks and well-behaved children though, no. Depresses me how frequently these are still considered the exclusive domain of women and how few apparently have partners who pitch in.

Mojoj · 07/02/2022 17:57

Everyone has time to exercise, assuming they have a partner who will look after any kids while you go to a class or whatever. People who say " I've no time to exercise" can usually fit in a few hours of telly every night..🤣🤣🤣🤣

NumberTheory · 07/02/2022 18:01

@SleepingStandingUp

I would be better at achieving this if... We were in the house less. Sahp with one in school and two at home. Few groups a week but still largely at home.

We had more storage / less stuff. We have too many toys and don't know how to reduce that without upsetting the kids

We had a bigger house. Not eating in the living room would change my life.

Great trick I got off MN for reducing toys is to put half (excluding a few exceptional favourites) in a box in the attic/garage etc and them swap over very few months. When swapping over, hold back a few of the stored ones you think they’ve grown out of. If the don’t ask for them for a few months, get rid.

Volhhg · 07/02/2022 18:03

They can drive and have a car

RussianSpy101 · 07/02/2022 18:03

@Mojoj agree!

MmmmIsee · 07/02/2022 18:06

I have 3dcs, a very hands on dh , part-time work, absolutley zero childcare or family help and have never had. I exercise a lot and my house is always clean and tidy as I cant live in mess, it has an bad effect on me if the place is messy. I think its the fact that my dh and I have had no help made is us quite a strong unit and we swap over a lot to give each other breaks. Its not perfect and we are v tired etc but exercise helps us hugely with our energy levels. My dcs have enormous amounts of energy so we have to keep up.

MmmmIsee · 07/02/2022 18:12

However I do know so many ppl who have loads of help from family ( fair enough, lucky them) who make out they are doing it all themselves or who are clearly able to do more than others with less support. Its like on instagram the nannies being hidden from view ! I am an artist and really struggle to produce stuff at the mo and too busy with job, kids , house etc. and I know a mum of 4 who is an artist and produces lots of work and is a sahm home educating, lots of comments about how she does it all etc : her mother , mil and nanny: none of whom are mentioned. Lots of " the kids join in and help", I know a v different story!!

oviraptor21 · 07/02/2022 18:15

I disagree that energy levels are inherited. My parents I would say are low to medium level energy. I'm high. My brother is low.
What I would say is that whatever is giving OP's acquaintance the time to run ultra marathons is also giving them the time for all the other things.

MmmmIsee · 07/02/2022 18:17

I have to say though I don't get ( unless working) why a couple with dhs dont swap over at weekends more. Of course we love spending time all together but can do that too or alternate weekends. Even with activities one of us can take over with all 3. As we have no family support or babysitters this has really helped us. Lie ins, hikes, chilling at home alone while the other parent is out etc

MmmmIsee · 07/02/2022 18:18

*a couple with dcs

Senseofsomething · 07/02/2022 18:20

I’m a working single parent on a low income with no family help and I’m pretty much on top of things. We aren’t all supported by nannies and cleaners. My house is clean because I clean it. It’s a modern house which I think is easy to keep clean. I exercise several times a week.

I’m an organised type. I simplify life wherever possible. I get rid of stuff constantly which helps keep the house tidy. I often use the spare hour when my kid is at a play date or an activity to run.

CurtainTroubles · 07/02/2022 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

Champagneforeveryone · 07/02/2022 18:51

@Wasitworthita

I am friends with a few and I know the secret- have energetic, motivated parents who make you exercise, study and eat in moderation as a child. The habit becomes ingrained and continues through adulthood. I realise this might not be much help but it’s the one common denominator. Other than that, set your alarm, write a big list every day, reward yourself for getting things done and multitask.

I really think there's something in this in the vast majority of cases.

Being financially well off also helps as you have the ability to throw money at any issue that occurs.

Sueiwn · 07/02/2022 19:30

@Wasitworthita

I am friends with a few and I know the secret- have energetic, motivated parents who make you exercise, study and eat in moderation as a child. The habit becomes ingrained and continues through adulthood. I realise this might not be much help but it’s the one common denominator. Other than that, set your alarm, write a big list every day, reward yourself for getting things done and multitask.

This is true as I grew up like this and I have continued it with my children.

lljkk · 07/02/2022 19:48

I know someone who swims in the North Sea daily, Feb-November.
I think she's high functioning ADHD.
No idea how clean her house is -- and I don't care, either.
i admire her but don't feel inferior at all.

Stop watching TV, impose a phone ban 6pm-9pm, & see what happens to your time.