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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU...is he being innapropriate?

171 replies

Theresalwaysonebadapple · 06/02/2022 19:58

One of the dads in ds' class at school watches my stories on social media every day. We are reasonably friendly but for me anyway its only in a platonic way (we are both married). I'm just not sure if it's a bit odd or if I'm overthinking it? He must know I know he's watched them but he carries on anyway every single day

OP posts:
Wasitworthita · 07/02/2022 08:14

I occasionally click on people’s stories while travelling (they work without internet). I don’t fancy any of them just bored. Don’t overthink it.

EeeICouldRipATissue · 07/02/2022 08:16

So - you have an open, public profile to in your own words, build up a following - then complain when people do just that, follow and watch your stories?! Confused
He could be watching for any number of reasons, he seems to have done nothing wrong.

OnwardsAndSideways1 · 07/02/2022 08:19

Surely one of the problems of having a public account with a persona is that you can't control who watches stuff- there's always a risk that people you don't like are viewing you, and you can't control what they are thinking or doing (!)

This doesn't sound sinister to me beyond it being public.

EeeICouldRipATissue · 07/02/2022 08:19

@silvershroud
AFAIK it is not possible to know who has viewed you, it is a basic rule of FB to stop just this kind of thing. I'd like OP to explain how she knows
I'm not the OP but yes if you post a story to either FB or Instagram it tells you how many people and who has watched it.

Inspectorslack · 07/02/2022 08:24

So you post public content that you want people to watch but you’re complaining that someone is watching it?

Electriq · 07/02/2022 08:29

I probably look like I watch everyone's stories, but in reality I just click past them and only watch a select few.

I think its really strange that you've taken him looking at your posts as inappropriate, maybe he is trying to help with growing your business.

LSLLM · 07/02/2022 08:32

OP I actually understand why you feel this way.
To think the guy has specifically chosen you to type in your name and check out what you’re up to…It’s not like he’s actually following you and seeing your stories because they run automatically on his feed.

AlDanvers · 07/02/2022 08:37

@LSLLM

OP I actually understand why you feel this way. To think the guy has specifically chosen you to type in your name and check out what you’re up to…It’s not like he’s actually following you and seeing your stories because they run automatically on his feed.
That's nor how it works.

My neighbour came up on mine. I don't even know her name. If you have close proximity to people or people in common the stories will come up on your list.

Just like my best friends neighbours dogs account comes up as suggested accounts I may want to follow. I don't want to follow Dave the staffy, I haven't looked for him or have his owners on my account.

My list of stories is full of people I don't know, follow or ever looked up.

Op is assuming he has sought her out, but that's probably not the case. He probably hasn't even watched them either, just flicked through whilst going through loads.

But again, that's what bloggers want. People who dont follow them to watch their content and help its reach.

incognitodorrito · 07/02/2022 08:50

@Wolfiefan

Why post stories on social media if you don’t want people looking at them? Confused
One of the mums in my DDs class does this everyday and probably also monitors who is watching them .. it must fill some huge empty void
Tulipomania · 07/02/2022 08:52

How can you tell if someone has watched your story?

MrsTimRiggins · 07/02/2022 08:52

‘Help, someone’s watching the content I specifically create for people to watch’
Give me strength. He may be watching for innocent reasons, he may be creeping, who knows but by having a public profile, this is exactly what you signed up for.
As an aside, if you’re not linked by following each other, you have to scroll right through to even find him on your ‘watchers’ list, surely? Why are you even bothering?
Anyway, you’re blocking him, so problem solved I guess.

greenlynx · 07/02/2022 09:05

@Notarealmum
You are not the only one.
I discovered recently that you can see who’ve seen you post on FB by moving a mouse towards the button seen by But I’m not sure if it’s the same as seeing stories.

greenlynx · 07/02/2022 09:13

It could be creepy of course, I can’t imagine my DH having so much free time that he’s watching make up videos on social media. However it might be innocent it might be his DD who is watching them or his wife from his FB account. My FB account is always active on the laptop in the kitchen and if my DH would look for something he would be on my FB technically. He never does but DD has done it a few times.

pinkyredrose · 07/02/2022 09:18

What exactly is the problem?

EeeICouldRipATissue · 07/02/2022 09:25

@Tulipomania

How can you tell if someone has watched your story?
It tells you how many people have viewed your story and who underneath them.
HunterHearstHelmsley · 07/02/2022 09:27

@Singlebutmarried

People can see if you’ve watched their stories????

Must review my stalking methods.

Facebook changed it recently, people only know you've watched their story if you comment/react.
Vallmo47 · 07/02/2022 09:31

So you keep it public because you want people to view your content, except for him. Maybe he wants to support your business as you are friends and wants to treat his wife who he loves dearly?
You are massively overthinking this OP. Massively.

NerrSnerr · 07/02/2022 09:34

What are your stories about?

I had to recently block someone on Instagram as their stories were full of drama and about their whole life it was like a soap opera. I had to block them as I couldn't stop clicking.

Are there multiple stories or just the odd picture?

RockinHorseShit · 07/02/2022 09:52

If that's the extent of it, you're bonkersConfused.

Stories just continue on after clicking the first one, so, no, he isn't actively watching your story every day, just opening up stories. It may simply be that's how his friends more regularly update, some of mine never make posts, but do add stories, some don't bother with stories at all & with posts like this I now see why 🥴

runsmidgeOMG · 07/02/2022 10:30

There are social media Users who will watch all stories rather than go through a newsfeed for example. They're so quick to click through. I occasionally post stories and find that people I haven't spoken to for years have seen them... my only assumption is that they're story watchers and that they've probably clicked through all of them and probably not paid it too much attention (it'll still log as watched even if you're just passing through)

Haven't read the full thread so apologies if this has been covered but as someone who used to keep tabs on whether a certain some one was looking at my posts because I had a huge crush boarder-lining on obsession that's now thankfully buggered off are you keeping an eye out for him ? Just seems strange that you notice his name enough to be concerned that he sees your posts every day?

runsmidgeOMG · 07/02/2022 10:31

Urgh strike through fail on my witty post ! 🙄

ChargingBuck · 07/02/2022 10:44

Can PP stop posting on this thread please?
It's really inappropriate. You're not even platonic friends with OP. She'll think you're a bit odd.

thetombliboo · 07/02/2022 10:51

If you have a blogging / influencing Instagram then you are inviting people to watch those stories and posting them purely for your audience.
You say you want to gain followers on the account but not people you know and see in real life? That's not how it works OP.

Maybe he does fancy you like you think, maybe he's just interested in your socials, maybe him and his wife watch them together?

MrsTimRiggins · 07/02/2022 10:55

@ChargingBuck

Can PP stop posting on this thread please? It's really inappropriate. You're not even platonic friends with OP. She'll think you're a bit odd.
😂
hellobabyyy · 07/02/2022 10:56

Facebook changed it recently, people only know you've watched their story if you comment/react.

OP is talking about Instagram. To see who’s viewed it you just click on your story and swipe up. The profiles of everyone who has watched your story come up.

Swipe left for the next trending thread