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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU...is he being innapropriate?

171 replies

Theresalwaysonebadapple · 06/02/2022 19:58

One of the dads in ds' class at school watches my stories on social media every day. We are reasonably friendly but for me anyway its only in a platonic way (we are both married). I'm just not sure if it's a bit odd or if I'm overthinking it? He must know I know he's watched them but he carries on anyway every single day

OP posts:
Notarealmum · 07/02/2022 03:04

Am I the only person on this thread who doesn’t know what a FB ‘story’ is? 🤔😕

Monty27 · 07/02/2022 03:06

Change all of your privacy settings.
He's probably a friend of one of your friends or something dull like that.
He's not necessarily that interested.
Report him to the school year headteacher if you're that bothered.
Or stop posting stuff on SOCIAL Media

ThinWomansBrain · 07/02/2022 03:11

don't put private crap that you don;t want people to see in a public arena?

Nancydrawn · 07/02/2022 03:46

As others have said, you really ought to be putting some basic privacy settings on your profile.

It's impossible for us to say whether he's being creepy to you in particular, whether it's an automatic thing, or whether he's an incredibly bored person who just looks through a bunch of stories every day because he has nothing in particular.

But what you can control is how open your posts are. I genuinely don't understand why anyone has a personal profile that's not completely locked down to all but friends.

Rosieposie101 · 07/02/2022 04:13

On many types of social media you literally just scroll through the stories, don't even know who is coming next. I often just leave it to play through all the stories if I'm bored. Or sometimes I flick through quickly and pay no attention to the people I'm bot really interested in, to get to the people I am interested in, but everyone will see that I've 'viewed' their story, even if I barely glanced at it.

Frannibananni · 07/02/2022 05:04

Stories just play on in order, I might start watching what the local cafes bakes are today coming out of the oven and end up watching a school mums business story because I liked her page to be polite. I hate that they can see it and it feels stalky but we are fb friends because of our children and it seems rude to unfriend

LovedayCL · 07/02/2022 05:21

@luxxlisbon

You don’t have to actively click on someone’s story, the next in line will just auto play as it goes through your follows. If you aren’t interested people usually just fast forward through them so don’t even watch necessarily but it comes up as ‘viewed’.
This
Iwab82 · 07/02/2022 05:37

The stories just seem to pop up when I'm on Facebook, I don't purposely look at them and don't know how to actually locate them . Will definitely try not to go on them now as would be mortified if someone thought I was stalking them!!!

TigerLilyTail · 07/02/2022 05:42

This is why I never click on anyone's story on Facebook. I find the whole thing a bit weird.

But, yes, if you post stuff on social media then you can really get upset that people are looking at your stuff on social media. That's pretty much the point of it.

TigerLilyTail · 07/02/2022 05:46

Obviously I meant you can't really get upset, but I'm curious what you are posting every day. Are they cat videos?

Doona · 07/02/2022 05:54

Yes, what kind of videos are you posting every day? I don't know anyone who does that except performance artists and I always assumed they wanted people to watch.

bindud · 07/02/2022 05:59

One of the dads in ds' class at school watches my stories on social media every day.

Perhaps he watches them thinking why do you post stories everyday?

Original poster
Theresalwaysonebadapple · 07/02/2022 05:59

To everyone saying I should make my Insta profile private, its not a personal family kind of profile (I have one of those which is private)....Its more of a fashion/make up blogging profile...that type of thing (not featuring my family life or kids or anything) and I didn't want to make it private as I have built up quite a lot of followers and wanted to continue to do so. I think the best thing is to just block him from now on.

OP posts:
bindud · 07/02/2022 06:02

Why block him though? Perhaps he enjoys the fashion!

Frigginintheriggin · 07/02/2022 06:03

Maybe he is looking for beauty and makeup tips for himself? You don't know anything about his personal life do you?

Doona · 07/02/2022 06:05

It could also be one of those couple, shared accounts. My mum friends are forever contacting me from their husbands accounts for some reason. Maybe they just grab his phone when he gets home, I'm not sure.

mrschocolatte · 07/02/2022 06:08

@Theresalwaysonebadapple

To everyone saying I should make my Insta profile private, its not a personal family kind of profile (I have one of those which is private)....Its more of a fashion/make up blogging profile...that type of thing (not featuring my family life or kids or anything) and I didn't want to make it private as I have built up quite a lot of followers and wanted to continue to do so. I think the best thing is to just block him from now on.
Could he genuinely interested in the fashion/make up stuff you are posting? If he’s a genuine follower for that purpose it would be harsh to block him.
Original poster
Theresalwaysonebadapple · 07/02/2022 06:09

@Frigginintheriggin

Maybe he is looking for beauty and makeup tips for himself? You don't know anything about his personal life do you?
🤣🤣 Maybe...
OP posts:
AlDanvers · 07/02/2022 06:27

@Theresalwaysonebadapple

To everyone saying I should make my Insta profile private, its not a personal family kind of profile (I have one of those which is private)....Its more of a fashion/make up blogging profile...that type of thing (not featuring my family life or kids or anything) and I didn't want to make it private as I have built up quite a lot of followers and wanted to continue to do so. I think the best thing is to just block him from now on.
So you are creating content for as many people to watch as possible and complaining he is watching it?

How many other men and women watch it, that you don't know? Are they being inappropriate?

How did you create a following without people you don't know watching it?

I know some quite famous bloggers, never known anyone complain someone is watching their content everyday.

You are being really weird about this for someone whose account is there for people to look at.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 07/02/2022 06:33

perhaps he shares his instagram with his family and someone else in the family is looking

Marmm · 07/02/2022 06:39

Maybe he enjoys your content.

I don't see how it's "inappropriate" to watch it.

Whatthefrigisthis · 07/02/2022 06:43

@Wolfiefan

Why post stories on social media if you don’t want people looking at them? Confused

Exactly this. The mind boggles 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

NumberTheory · 07/02/2022 06:44

Fashion/make up sounds like it’s really aimed at women and men watching would most likely be doing so basically in order to ogle?

In which case - yes, it’s most likely kind of low level voyeuristic. If you want a public blogging profile like that you’re going to have a lot of men doing that. But I can see it’s different when they’re just a sort of acquaintance. Blocking seems reasonable if you’d prefer him not to be watching.

MissPeregrine · 07/02/2022 06:47

This is why I don’t watch stories. I might want to watch one but it auto plays to the next and makes it look like I’ve watched so I don’t bother now.

HumousWhereTheHeartIs · 07/02/2022 06:56

I look at stories when I'm bored or in the mood for mindless scrolling. I click through them all quickly and don't specifically choose whose to look at. There will be people's I look at every day but I wouldn't notice if they hadn't posted anything.