Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent

[TerribleTuna]

I'll go...

I've watched the same animated film every day for 2 weeks 🙃

i sleep with one eye open...i have been to childrens a and e multiple times for sports injuries

@Houseofvelour

I spend a good portion of the day looking down the back of trousers to see if there's a poo

I'm guessing they are someone else's trousers?

I got shouted at today for cutting a sandwich into triangles rather than squares.

Although the idea of me doing a PhD is now laughable (I mean, where would I find the time?), if I ever get round to it, it will be on the bowel habits and toileting practices of small humans.

I always keep a stash of Organix cereal bars under the stairs (bought when on offer).

I have fished several poos out of the bath this month

I have spent 4x my own clothes budget on tiny uniform.

I could go on mastermind about sodding Pokemon.

I can tell if someone's coming down with something by sniffing the crown of their head.

Would anyone else like to check and see if my poo looks like yours?

I smell of sick and I don’t have the energy to care. Or is that just the morning after a night out?!

I never leave the house without tissues.

I haven’t been to the toilet by myself for more than 5 years.

@Chasingaftermidnight I read the Julia Donaldson books so often I’m surprised when I open other books and they aren’t written in rhyming couplets. Best laugh if the weekend

@Mercedes519

I get irrationally annoyed at authors who haven’t made their rhyming couplets scan properly.

You had ONE job

I'm still annoyed at Julia Donaldson for "the fire burned bright and good". The fire burned GOOD? Wtf, Julia?

I hide chocolate.

Doing all the laundry folding in 1 night just to let the other pile sit there for another 3 or 4days...

You mutter 'for fucks sake' under your breath when someone calls your name for the bazillionth time in an hour.

For a middle aged woman I know a frightening amount about Tik Tok videos and Marvel.

Oh yeah and going on a holiday feels rather like a business trip

I can't pass a big truck without commenting out loud:
Ooh, a digger.
Ooh, a cement mixer.
Look, it's the binnies!

@Babydancing2020

Oh yeah and going on a holiday feels rather like a business trip

But going on a business trip feels like a holiday.

@anotherneutralname

I have spent 4x my own clothes budget on tiny uniform.

I could go on mastermind about sodding Pokemon.

I can tell if someone's coming down with something by sniffing the crown of their head.

After buying a full set of tiny 4-5 yrs uniform for starting school, have recently had to buy a whole new set of size 6-7 uniform just 6 months later ... What do they put in those school dinners?!

Who 'accidentally' kicked The Gingerbread Man underneath the wardrobe?

@BordelDemerde you got me cracking up my god that is so true hahaahhahaha

I've got an emergency dummy in my coat pocket.
My current "ear worm" is "Wind the bobbin up".

Stood on Lego

Why
Why
Why
Why
Why
X a hundred million times

Was asked to imagine Nanna farting in a bush