Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent

[TerribleTuna]

I'll go...

I've watched the same animated film every day for 2 weeks 🙃

I spend most nights doing unpaid taxi duties.

7.30 is a lie-in. 8am is a magical luxury that happens once in a blue moon.

Eating out is not a relaxing treat. I keep having to remind one of our group that we sit at the table, not under it. Because they're not a dog however much they communicate in woofs.

@TerribleTuna

I'll go...

I've watched the same animated film every day for 2 weeks 🙃

Let me guess if it's the same as my house - we don't talk about Bruno!!

I can't remember the last time I had a hot cup of tea.

I carry everyone's crap on days out.

Let me guess if it's the same as my house - we don't talk about Bruno!!

Guessed it in one! Oh and obviously we must also listen to the soundtrack in the car as well.. 😳

Everything I own is (a) covered in yoghurt and (b) stuffed inside a small cardboard suitcase.

Someone needed a pen yesterday I pulled out 4 different coloured crayola pens.

@NommyChompers

I hear ghost-crying when I shower, or when I am asleep, or watching TV, or eating - it always sounds like there is crying

Yes to this! And the PP who said they rock / sway even when standing alone.

My bum isn’t the only one I wipe.

I’m a climbing frame made of flesh.

*tide her over

I own footballs, basketballs, baseball mitts and bats, cricket bats and balls, a trampoline, rollerblades and a skateboard.
I play none of those sports.

I got cried at for 10 minutes for peeling a banana after I was asked for a banana.

@Simonjt

My bum isn’t the only one I wipe.

I’m a climbing frame made of flesh.

🤣🤣🤣 at least it's not just me.

I'm also a human shaped handkerchief.

Awoken by someone flinging my bedroom door open dramatically, at 6:30am asking me where the MacBook is?

Dragged my tired arse out of bed to go to the loo, sat in boy wee.
Got back into bed.

@GoldenGorilla

I haven’t had a full nights sleep in seven years.

12 years here.

@LividLaVidaLoca

My current crush is Bandit Heeler.

#IfYouKnowYouKnow

DD wants to watch this every day. I must admit he is a very fun dad, I mentioned this to DH and I think he now feels he needs to up his game 😂

I saw a news article about a boat lost at sea for a long but survivable length of time and thought it sounded like a nice break from everything.

I've been cried/shouted at because I can't just magic food from thin air. Sometimes it needs to be.... dun dun dunnnn... MADE first!

Don't even get me started on when it needs to cool down first, that is a very tense situation.

I spend a good portion of the day looking down the back of trousers to see if there's a poo

@Filthyslattern

I lay awake at night worrying whether a 22 year old ma i don't live with is safe and happy and getting enough sleep.

Aw 💖

Someone placing a glass/mug/cup anywhere close to the edge of a table or worktop has me taking immediate action to place it more centrally

I run a bath every day but I’m unclean.

Also, I’m Captain Barnacles.

My h got a new tattoo on Friday. Is it or something very cool and artistic? No. It is of a family of cartoon dogs. Two of which are blue. And two are orange. Dd loves it.

I'm spending my Sunday evening doing a pile of ironing and cleaning up the living room den.
I also had 3 hours sleep last night but went to bed at 1030pm stone cold sober

There's a pile of important sticks outside the front door.