Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent

[TerribleTuna]

I'll go...

I've watched the same animated film every day for 2 weeks 🙃

When I (eventually) get out of the door in the morning all the neighbours are by the car with their shoes and coats on

I've been shouted at incessantly to look at a special love heart for Valentines day - turns out it was 2 overlapping poos in the toilet

I'm trying to prepare a presentation for tomorrow but have had to stop multiple times to explain that Bing doesn't need to wear his shoes in bed.

I pulled a crabs leg out of my handbag.
Was wondering what the smell was 🤢

@girafferafferaffe

I'm having to rescue a mermaid from her cage. And being told I'm doing it wrong.

Well, if you can't be arsed to master basic life skills.....😉

@LividLaVidaLoca
Omg me too

I'm covered in someone elses food

My biggest fear in life is the conversations that will take place in a public toilet

I use the phrase "I'm not angry, I'm disappointed"

@CatNamedEaster

When I approach a pedestrian crossing alone I usually forget to press the button now because I've got so used to war breaking out if i DO press it.

I can't see any skirting board in my lounge because various puzzles, games, models and books are stacked so that there's room to actually walk across to the sofas.

I could probably sing the Gangnam Style William the Conqueror song from Horrible Histories all the way through, complete with actions.

Almost all recipes will have two extra vegetables added in, in a way that is unnoticeable and will forever remain unmentioned.

That's so true, its usually my husband that presses it without thinking and the 4 yo goes mad! The latest version of this is pressing the button on the car boot.

My inner monologue is starting to sound like Mr Tumble

I've taken to announcing what I'm doing pre-emptively all the time... "I'm just going to the toilet, I'll be back in a min"... I'm "just making a drink, and then I'll open that" .. even at work. I am my own life commentary

My food waste bin is 90% crusts:

Am also often called upon to admire a shapely poo, @Glorieta – just this week we’ve had “ABC” poo, “wiggly worm” poo and “birfday cake” poo

"Don't rub that Yorkshire pudding on your neck", said my partner at dinner tonight.

@iamsmaller1

I've taken to announcing what I'm doing pre-emptively all the time... "I'm just going to the toilet, I'll be back in a min"... I'm "just making a drink, and then I'll open that" .. even at work. I am my own life commentary

Oh I do this all the time, not that she listens! I'll say "I'm just going upstairs to get something" 30 seconds later... "Mommmmmy, where are you???"

@TerribleTuna if it’s the same one as me then I have watched it a minimum of twice a day during our 10 day Covid isolation 🙃

Left my bag in morrisons the other day so called to ask if it had been handed in. Explained the bag is blue and has a xylophone, a half chewed packet of crayons and a watering can in it...

I learn about a new topic every term 🤯

There is spit-up on my t-shirt, but it's not really a lot, so I don't care to change it just yet.

This week, I will be using 100% acetone in trying to get nail varnish out of a canvas teepee and a carpet. 😬

Fucking. Stickers.

@Magpiecomplex

Every week I do a washing load composed almost entirely of school shirts. And another for muddy PE kit.

I wash myddy rugby kit 5 times a week! 5 TIMES.

And ditto with the wash just for school shirts/ white sports socks- I've just put it in the tumble dryer.

I've just stepped on a lol shoe and it bloody hurt.

Muddy

I hide in the kitchen if I want to eat a bag of crisps in peace.