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Original poster

Not all men..

479 replies

Jenna19871 · 05/02/2022 23:18

Spoke to DH about this tonight and he said ‘it’s not all men though is it?’

He’s right. It’s not all men. But I have experienced so much shit that wouldn’t be accepted nowadays (not tragic shit but just not acceptable)

At 19 my drink was drugged with rohypnol in the local night club, thankfully I didn’t drink it as it tasted ‘sour’. It was caught on CCTV. The man was banned for 2 weeks. 2 weeks!!!

I’ve taken the tube and had men put their hands on my butt/legs etc with me trying to move away. I didn’t shout, I should have!

None of these are awful stories but it just goes to show that when people say it’s not all men...but it is most women.

OP posts:
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5
myrtleWilson · 12/02/2022 14:14

Well there are some revealing posts on this thread aren't there...

Maireas · 12/02/2022 14:15

@cuno

I find it interesting how men always use their negative experiences of women being abusers as a tool to silence and trip up women whenever women talk about their experiences of being abused by men.

But then I don't see them starting threads or making much noise at all really about their plight outside of this.

Yes, it's a strategy to diminish women's experiences. Women are just as bad as men. Plus the joy of the gotcha of course.
OhWhyNot · 12/02/2022 14:22

Some men are such fucking twats

They will inform us how they would never do sexually assault a women but are happy to try and shut us up you know so it can keep on happening

Really you not that much better you really aren’t now matter how much you may try to convince yourself

cuno · 12/02/2022 14:28

Out of all the threads on Mumsnet, of course the men have to flock to this one. Seems like some of them even made accounts just to comment on here. I don't see men offering this amount of input on any other thread. They must be trolling, surely.

5128gap · 12/02/2022 14:34

@cuno

I find it interesting how men always use their negative experiences of women being abusers as a tool to silence and trip up women whenever women talk about their experiences of being abused by men.

But then I don't see them starting threads or making much noise at all really about their plight outside of this.

Yes, I agree. I also find it strange that when a man has themselves suffered an assault like the poster on the first aid course, their takeaway from that is perceived ammunition against women who are recounting simular. I'd have expected the experience to have heightened their empathy for women for whom it regularly occurs.
Maireas · 12/02/2022 14:40

You'd think so, wouldn't you, @5128gap?
Unless it's just to make the point that men are victims of women as much as the other way round. "One way street" he claims.

phoenixrosehere · 12/02/2022 14:41

*I find it interesting how men always use their negative experiences of women being abusers as a tool to silence and trip up women whenever women talk about their experiences of being abused by men.

But then I don't see them starting threads or making much noise at all really about their plight outside of this.*

Yes. It reminds me when International Women’s Day is celebrated and many men jump all over it saying what about International Men’s Day and when someone (usually a woman) points out that there not only is one but when, it’s met with silence. They wouldn’t even think about the day if it wasn’t for seeing women talk/celebrate theirs.

Ohmy2022 · 12/02/2022 14:46

I'm not trying to silence any one .

But theres always the posters on threads like that claim it's "always men "

When it's not. And when its mentioned the male usually gets laughed at. In real life not on here.

Sorry it's not a "gotcha" and I do apologise if it came across that way

Pumperthepumper · 12/02/2022 14:47

@Ohmy2022

I'm not trying to silence any one .

But theres always the posters on threads like that claim it's "always men "

When it's not. And when its mentioned the male usually gets laughed at. In real life not on here.

Sorry it's not a "gotcha" and I do apologise if it came across that way

It is mostly men though. It’s overwhelmingly men.

And harassment from women doesn’t translate into any real-life consequence, because 98% of violent crimes are committed by men.

cuno · 12/02/2022 14:49

@phoenixrosehere

*I find it interesting how men always use their negative experiences of women being abusers as a tool to silence and trip up women whenever women talk about their experiences of being abused by men.

But then I don't see them starting threads or making much noise at all really about their plight outside of this.*

Yes. It reminds me when International Women’s Day is celebrated and many men jump all over it saying what about International Men’s Day and when someone (usually a woman) points out that there not only is one but when, it’s met with silence. They wouldn’t even think about the day if it wasn’t for seeing women talk/celebrate theirs.

Anyone would think they are jealous of us being raped! They make everything a bloody competition as well and the constant one-upmanship as seen on this thread. Man's response to me saying (in relation to how useless HR are) I had to go to tribunal for discrimination, well he went to tribunal twice! Even though it contradicted his earlier post about how we should report stuff to HR to get it sorted. Can't make it up really (or can you...)
OhWhyNot · 12/02/2022 14:49

Oh please I have had enough experience of silencing

Maireas · 12/02/2022 14:51

@Ohmy2022

I'm not trying to silence any one .

But theres always the posters on threads like that claim it's "always men "

When it's not. And when its mentioned the male usually gets laughed at. In real life not on here.

Sorry it's not a "gotcha" and I do apologise if it came across that way

You do understand that women get laughed at too? Not listened to or taken seriously? Under reporting of rape should give you that clue. You're being a bit disengenuous about the gotcha, though. You did conceal the gender.
MarieIVanArkleStinks · 12/02/2022 14:53

Women must not be allowed to talk openly (even to each other) about men's abuse.

It makes the men look bad.

Maireas · 12/02/2022 14:54

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

Women must not be allowed to talk openly (even to each other) about men's abuse.

It makes the men look bad.

You're right, or it has to be somehow nullified because women do it to men. Not one man could seriously believe it's a one way street, surely?.
Ohmy2022 · 12/02/2022 14:58

@Maireas

I didnt think the gender sex was important

Maireas · 12/02/2022 14:58

[quote Ohmy2022]@Maireas

I didnt think the gender sex was important[/quote]
Really. Ok.

cuno · 12/02/2022 15:00

@Ohmy2022

I'm not trying to silence any one .

But theres always the posters on threads like that claim it's "always men "

When it's not. And when its mentioned the male usually gets laughed at. In real life not on here.

Sorry it's not a "gotcha" and I do apologise if it came across that way

No-one denied the existence of female on male abuse on this thread. No-one. Why do men torture themselves over imaginary things women said. And fwiw, it is usually the men that are doing the laughing and making comments like "well I bet you enjoyed it", not us.

But women committing sexual offences is exceptional. That's why when it happens it's splashed all over the papers meanwhile women are murdered every week by their partners and don't get a mention. It's more newsworthy when a female teacher has sex with her 18 year old pupil, than a woman being raped and murdered which is forgotten about. Neither is acceptable, but the threat men pose to women is clearly on a whole other level.

Ohmy2022 · 12/02/2022 15:05

@cuno

What have said that's imaginary?

cuno · 12/02/2022 15:10

[quote Ohmy2022]@cuno

What have said that's imaginary?[/quote]
I'm saying you're imagining that on this thread women are saying or doing anything to undermine the existence of the rare occurrences of female on male abuse. And you came on here to defend your honour because of it. I see this time and time again with men, twisting themselves in knots over things that we are not even saying! But we all know you're being disingenuous anyway.

VanGoghsDog · 12/02/2022 15:12

[quote Ohmy2022]@cuno

What have said that's imaginary?[/quote]
A reminder: But theres always the posters on threads like that claim it's "always men "

Can you point to the post(/s) that said that please?

Ohmy2022 · 12/02/2022 15:19

1st page 5th post I believe + a few posts agreeing with the statement

cuno · 12/02/2022 15:33

@Ohmy2022

1st page 5th post I believe + a few posts agreeing with the statement
She said in her experience it's always men. That is my experience too. Statistically female sex offenders are so rare that most people wouldn't come across this themselves personally.
OhWhyNot · 12/02/2022 15:35

I have never been sexually assaulted by a woman

It’s always been men

VanGoghsDog · 12/02/2022 15:50

I've also never been assaulted in any way by a woman, always men.

And we're talking here about sexual assaults on women. It's pretty rare that women do that. No-one is denying it happens, nor that men get sexually assaulted by women.

You really need to quote the post you're referring to and explain why you have an issue with it.

Pumperthepumper · 12/02/2022 15:53

@LifeInAHamsterWheel

In my experience, it's not all men. But it's always men.
I’ve never been assaulted by a woman either.