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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight? Part 2: Insomnia Strikes Back

987 replies

5YearsLeft · 05/02/2022 11:24

Bit awkward to start this in the middle of the day, but I wanted to be able to link it on the old thread before it completely fills. Meanwhile, even though right now it’s not post-midnight, if you’re having a day-after hangover from insomnia, feel free to post. Whether it’s from poorly children or babies or pets or OHs, whether it’s grief or fear or anxiety or other losses, whether it’s work stress or home stress or just LIFE stress, we get it. You’re not yelling into the void; you’re sharing with people who have been stuck wide awake, too.

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5YearsLeft · 06/02/2022 10:14

@catwomando What kind of magical emoji is this!! Half the time I look, it’s the moon, and half the time, it’s the sun. I’ve gone away from the page and then come back just to make sure I’m not losing my mind, ha. I love it.

@JaceLancs Oh, I hope being quite teary isn’t too bad for you right now! But you do need to hear them. It sounds like you just have so much guilt, and for someone who spends their entire day trying to help others, that’s so awful. I get it, I do - that feeling like it’s never enough, AND of course you’re terrified that other people are relying on you - but… they’re not relying just on you. They’re relying on the whole of the organization. You can’t hold it up by yourself, no matter how much you want to. I know the words of one random internet person can’t help you get rid of intrusive suicidal thoughts, but maybe with time, counseling, medication if you feel it would help for a bit since you’ve been trying to deal with this for so long, and CBT focusing on some mantras like not feeling guilty, I really hope that, well, you find your way out the other side of this. I’m not pretending there’s a silver lining right now; just that I completely believe there’s a way to come out the other side. I know because I have (different circumstances but very same thoughts). Very best of luck and you’re always welcome here on the thread.

And @jowly our weather report now is for it to be blowing a hooley here tonight so it looks like it’s arriving all the way from your house - the wind AND the rain. I’ll let you know if it’s as impressive as they claim it’ll be or if, instead, we end up with some insulted male meteorologist claiming it’s not the size of the rainfall, after all, but how you use the windspeed Wink

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Tallisimo · 06/02/2022 11:16

Thank you, @5YearsLeft - I’d not seen the earlier thread. Will search it out tonight x

5YearsLeft · 06/02/2022 13:14

No problem @Tallisimo - it’s www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4451307-To-ask-what-you-re-doing-awake-post-midnight?pg=12
I’m hoping that will link you to the specific page where at 09:17 on 24 Jan Coroico97 (our sciatica sufferer) talks about the surgery they’re doing for her sciatica.

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Tallisimo · 06/02/2022 22:55

Thank you for the link, so kind. And @Coroico97 I really hope the surgery sorts you out. I shall be going back to the GP this week as the latest meds (Naproxen) aren’t helping. This is my fourth month of constant pain and I shall never ever again take being pain free for granted if I’m lucky enough to get my sciatica sorted.

I’ve read some of the earlier thread, along with this one and want to send you all virtual hugs. People have to endure so much x

Chichimcgee · 06/02/2022 22:59

Evening all Smile

Managed to drop off around 4am so not too bad really.

Hope everyone is as well as can be.

Coroico97 · 06/02/2022 23:19

Hi @Tallisimo - thanks. It’s pretty bad right now. I seem to get comfortable in bed then have to turn over or sit up and it gets ‘woken up’ and is then agony for ages. So annoying. Naproxen and Zapain did nothing for me. Have now been taking 20mg of Amitryptiline for almost a month. Not made any difference. Seems to ease a bit during the day but evenings, nights and mornings are bad. Counting the days until my op. Hope you are okay! And you @5YearsLeft. I will ask doctor about those patches tomorrow. Sleep well everyone. Hopefully.

jowly · 06/02/2022 23:21

Hello all

A quiet day in the jowly household today. Husband seems to have a mildish dose of covid and I'm still negative, so fingers crossed all will be over soon.

Feeling a bit low today really. My sleeplessness is very much grief related, and today has been one of the harder days. While it's true time does soften it all, it never really heals, we just learn to live with it. I have probably spent too much time at home reflecting and not enough time being busy, so this week I will get myself together.

Time is such a strange thing. Memories and events seem so long ago, yet only yesterday.

Anyway, best foot forward.. hope your day has been ok, and sleep will be on the cards tonight x

Tallisimo · 06/02/2022 23:27

I so feel for you, @Coroico97 - it’s such a debilitating experience, isn’t it. I’m in bed trying to find a position that is less painful than others. Lost cause. Amitryptiline (sorry I can’t spell it!) didn’t help me but I didn’t take it for as long as you.

Hope all you other lovely peeps are missing these comments due to being happily zzzzzzz !

Coroico97 · 06/02/2022 23:35

Hi @Tallisimo - I am in bed trying to do the same!! Good luck for tonight! X

5YearsLeft · 06/02/2022 23:51

Might as well start us all off now since we’re close enough… welcome to the after-midnight thread, Sunday Scaries edition! If you’re suffering from the Sunday Scaries (anxiety over the return to work tomorrow, general feeling of malaise) or if you’re going through any the other things on these threads - loss, grief, illness that ends soon or doesn’t, anxiety, poorly children or relatives or OHs, pregnancy pains, night shifts, or just plain insomnia - we’re here and the thread is open.

If you get some sleep, lovely. If not, you’re always welcome to come share anything here. We don’t judge.

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CatDogMonkeyPOW · 06/02/2022 23:57

DD6 is ill and I can hear her muttering in her sleep. I've just had her PCR result through and it's negative. I'm not sure how accurate that is given that she is ill and half her class tested positive last week, including her two best friends.

Chichimcgee · 07/02/2022 00:06

I’m waiting for housing approval so I can bid on a house and get out of the refuge so I’m happy the weekend is over and keeping everything crossed that our case worker has shifted us to the top to be approved!

5YearsLeft · 07/02/2022 00:10

@chichimcgee Welcome back! 4am is better than nothing but there’s no denying that it can be a bit rough for handling the days. Wink

@Tallisimo Oh gosh, you do sound just like each other @Coroico97 - I remember Coroico saying the exact same about never taking being pain-free for granted again as well. It’s a really terrible way to discover a new, previously invisible world. I’ve mentioned lidocaine patches on a previous thread, there are 5% ones available by prescription but I looked and it seems they may now have 4% ones over the counter, made by Salon Pas, so maybe check online to see if your local Boots or someone has them, to try? Also, if Naproxen isn’t working by mouth, they do make patches with anti-inflammatories in them. Over here, they’re called Flector and the active ingredient is the same as Voltarol but the patches sink in differently than just trying to rub a gel on or something. It still may not be enough to get “deeply” enough to reach the nerves, so you may need a medication combination, but it sounds like it’s worth trying absolutely everything at least once when you’re suffering so much. Maybe if one of you has great success with the surgery, the other of you can consider it. Stranger things have happened.

@jowly This is so completely 100% true - time doesn’t exactly heal. What it does is make the wound not so fresh, maybe the pain not quite so sharp. But no, it won’t erase the pain for you, because it can’t erase the connection you had or the love you felt, and those are part of the grief you feel. And there are definitely days that the memories cling to you more, and feel closer, like you could walk back inside of them. I do hope, like I think I maybe told another user, not that you deny your grief or rush yourself through it, but just that you reach the end of the “sleeplessness” phase of it soon. There are still quite a few phases after that, since sleeplessness is usually one of the first phases, I’ve found. But getting through them is just a very, very tiny bit easier with some rest. So, may you come out of your sleeplessness soon, and your grief whenever you’re ready. And of course, I’m so, SO sorry for your loss. (And glad you’re still COVID negative!)

@CatDogMonkeyPOW Oh, that’s difficult, and I’m sure you’re worried, as 6 is still quite small. You know, it’s tough to say - even if her PCR is negative, if she has all the same symptoms as if she had COVID, then she’s still plenty ill (and may be more ill than a lot of Omicron cases) and might as well have it, so all you can really do is treat it like any other illness and just keep her home and safe anyway. Good luck, and I hope she feels better soon and you can get some rest!

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5YearsLeft · 07/02/2022 00:11

@Chichimcgee What wonderful news! At this rate, you could be in the new house in time for the new baby! That would be truly lovely. I’ll keep all my fingers crossed!

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jowly · 07/02/2022 00:15

I've been thinking about @bloodywhitecat over the weekend. She is living a nightmare, and hope she's managing to rest a little.

KTyoupigeon · 07/02/2022 00:16

I’ve always been a ‘night owl’ but due to immense prolonged stress insomnia hit a few years ago.

Sadly lost my dad very unexpectedly last October - I had to do cpr, which I can say one of the most traumatic things I’ve ever had to do in my life. My mum has been very poorly to and has since moved to a care home. I’m totally overwhelmed with everything I need to do following my dads passing (paperwork) and now selling my parents house - after I’ve sorted and emptied it that is!

I also have a chronically ill daughter (albeit she is an adult) and another adult child with lots of MH issues

Reading that back it’s no wonder I don’t sleep - I don’t feel like my brain can switch off.

I’m so fed up chasing people who said they will do things and don’t - including medical professionals, social workers to name a couple.

I’ve tried calm apps, listening to music, meditation almost everything other than pills. Yet here I am still awake although I appreciate it’s still early for most

Sorry for the ramble!

Coroico97 · 07/02/2022 00:17

Ugh. Just got up and walked about - bent double almost - and now sitting on the loo as it’s not so painful when sitting in this position. But can’t sit in the loo all night on Mumsnet 😂😂!

Dobedodo · 07/02/2022 00:20

I can’t sleep because I’ve fallen out with my dp again. I’m so fedup and sad

Chichimcgee · 07/02/2022 00:20

Thank you @5YearsLeft
Because my son is classed as severely disabled and I’m so heavily pregnant they’re doing everything they can to shorten the normal waiting times and things. There are women here who have been here a really long time but I’m not picky about the area so will bid on anything, hoping that means as a top priority it really won’t be long, fingers crossed!

CatDogMonkeyPOW · 07/02/2022 00:22

@5YearsLeft

Thanks. I finished typing that and she started crying so I had to go in to settle her. Her cough sounds quite croupy. I think it's going to be a long night.

Coroico97 · 07/02/2022 00:22

Oh @KTyoupigeon I am so sorry. Losing your dad must have been tough. I remember all the stuff you have to do. You sound like you have so much on your plate. I can’t offer any advice but I really hope you have some support. Sometimes a coffee/tea/glass of wine and a good moan really helps. I am sending you sleepy vibes from my position here on the loo.

Chichimcgee · 07/02/2022 00:22

@KTyoupigeon I’m so sorry for your loss, how stressful for you. I wish I had some advice but to be honest I’d be an overwhelmed puddle of goo in your situation Flowers

Chichimcgee · 07/02/2022 00:23

@CatDogMonkeyPOW hope she feels better soon bless her

KTyoupigeon · 07/02/2022 00:26

@Coroico97 thank you for your kind words. Thank you for the sleepy vibes and I’m sorry they’ve come from your loo - the pain sounds bad :/ I hope you don’t have to stay there long - have you tried a TENS machine (please don’t be upset with the suggestion if you have) it may just interrupt the pain enough for you to get comfortable somewhere other than than the loo

alwaysscared · 07/02/2022 00:30

Can I join? I'm up past midnight every night with my DS (8) who is having a mental health crisis. He is in bed with me every night and doesn't sleep until about 1:30/2am. I'm exhausted. His anxiety is so bad, he hasn't been to school since May, he won't leave the house and can't get to sleep due to high levels at night. His eating has also taken a nosedive, always been a picky eater but now only has about 5 'safe' foods. Was diagnosed with ASD the week before Christmas.

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