Hey all - Er, I fell asleep. Turns out my migraine isn’t exactly a migraine so much as my eyes swelling again. I swear, I can hear them squeaking. It’s really disheartening, but I know it’s just the blood vessels playing merry hell, and just painful, not all that serious. But I’m still carrying it this morning.
Sorry I wasn’t up last night for so many new faces who are suffering through a lot in the night!!!
@Confusedmeanderings I think maybe @Chichimcgee has hit it, but you’ll know best: that only know the initial part of the cancer “fight” is over, do you feel safe to cry over things that seem smaller? Of course, nothing is really small; it’s all connected in our minds. And it could be that chemo is looming larger in your brain than surgery did and you’re more concerned about the changes from that (maybe your subconscious brain is afraid a bad haircut is the first!). My mom went through breast cancer in two parts, surgery and chemo, and it was difficult emotionally, because on the one hand she wanted to feel like all the cancer was gone the draining bit like the surgery but then the chemo can be difficult and you still have to go through that (sure, everyone LOGICALLY understands why, but emotionally it feels like you’re dealing with your cancer constantly, and maybe being chemo, it’s affecting you more). I hope maybe your cancer service offers counseling? And maybe they could help you with this, because it’s easy to say it could be one thing or the other, but none of us know your life, and you deserve to be as happy as you can be while going through this, so maybe a counseling session or two could help unknot it. If that’s completely not an option, then I recommend talking to whoever knows you best (unless you have perhaps toxic family relationships) and see what they think; they might know better than us. I wish you the very very best of luck, and you can always post on here.
@Walkoflife I’m so incredibly sorry and I know so often our pets are part of our family; they fill a spot no one else can. I’m just… so sorry. There’s not much else I can say. You’re going to go through grief just like everyone else who is grieving on this thread, and it sounds like things are already tough for you, so please, just be as gentle with yourself as possible.
@AllOfUsAreDead So sorry about the pulled muscles! I know they can be absolute agony, like you’ve said; like having a muscle cramp you can do nothing about. I’m sorry I wasn’t here last night or I would have said that sometimes when it’s very fresh, you’re best off with ice or heat, and you’ll get more direct relief from them straight on the muscles than trying to get a painkiller from your mouth to the muscles. Sometimes it’s so frustrating as we take them by mouth and I feel like the whole things ends up in your liver, without stopping to help the pain on the way. If you see this, so maybe give the ice a try if the injury is still fresh (less than 24 hours, still bruised feeling) or heat if it’s longer; a heated blanket is good for this.
@megletthesecond So sorry to hear about your daughter! The temperature can get high enough to be scary, and it’s hard to tell when asleep, but you’ll know if she’s not right in herself. I do hope it’s negative, though being that sick will I’m sure require moving some things regardless. Good luck!
@Glorieta Just what you need: added work stress! I do hope it all works out, but mostly I’m sorry to hear that you did what you thought was best, and, well, you got shite for it. It gets old, AND it’s not really acceptable, especially in industries that want reflective practices - part of the benefit of them is to do away with this culture of defensiveness that allows mistakes to perpetuate. So, it’s a shame you’re stuck in the middle of that. Sometimes you just have to know that you did the best you can, you did what you knew was right… and you have company best practices to back you up. Good luck today!
@Oxborn Im so incredibly sorry about the loss of your nan. I know it’s losing such a hugely important female figure in your life, and no one ever does the things a nan does. Your grief is still so, so new; we talk about grief often on these threads since it leads to a lot of insomnia, and I’ve said it roughly before but time doesn’t exactly heal - it just makes these feelings not quite so stabbingly fresh. You’ll find that in a while you won’t cry every night. And slowly, you’ll start getting a bit more sleep. But you’ll still have moments of sadness for a while after that, and that’s okay. You loved her, and she’s gone, and that leaves a void, and no one can pretend it doesn’t. I hope you got at least a wee bit of sleep last night.
@Desiredeffect I do hope the sleep clinic referral comes through soon! The combo of insomnia and sleep apnea is a lot to take, and sleep apnea is already going to keep you from feeling rested. Good luck!!!
@namechanged221 That’s so tough; I’ve been through waking up with the sheets so wet that I had to lay down a towel to go back to sleep. It’s hard to imagine what it’s like until you’ve lived it, and I can definitely understand it’s scary to wake up like that! Im so sorry your doctors aren’t taking this seriously. It’s just like any other medical problem, and you deserve to be heard. Is there any chance of another GP’s practice or even a gynae referral? Sometimes they can be much more help with HRT, if that’s what you need, and can do blood tests to make sure you’re getting the right combos and levels. But no, you shouldn’t just have to accept scary nights like that. I really hope you find better doctors.
@PartyAtSueGrays Ouch! Spinal surgery must be quite a thing. I’m glad it’s discomfort more than pain but hope it eases off a bit so you can sleep.
@Whattochoosenow Perhaps your dog could keep your cat @MellowMelly company, and then you could both get some sleep! While a dog checking you both so he could break the rules is a bit funny, a cat with dementia is a little sad, though I know he or she doesn’t exactly know it. And your neighbor, Melly, sounds like a loud jerk.
I do hope everyone finally found a bit of rest last night. And I’ll probably be sleeping most of the day away today as well with my eyes. I wish you all the best of luck with your various Mondays!
And obviously, the thread is closed since the sun is up, but if you need to reply, it’s always quasi-open. Like a pub.