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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight? Part 2: Insomnia Strikes Back

987 replies

5YearsLeft · 05/02/2022 11:24

Bit awkward to start this in the middle of the day, but I wanted to be able to link it on the old thread before it completely fills. Meanwhile, even though right now it’s not post-midnight, if you’re having a day-after hangover from insomnia, feel free to post. Whether it’s from poorly children or babies or pets or OHs, whether it’s grief or fear or anxiety or other losses, whether it’s work stress or home stress or just LIFE stress, we get it. You’re not yelling into the void; you’re sharing with people who have been stuck wide awake, too.

OP posts:
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KTyoupigeon · 07/02/2022 01:26

Oh @Walkoflife I’m so sorry - losing a pet is so very difficult. I have cats and have lost one to the road at a young age. Nothing I can say is going to help right now but know that I understand the pain and emotions you are feeling

Chichimcgee · 07/02/2022 01:27

@5YearsLeft whenever I go for a smear I always tell them to put a where’s Wally on the ceiling. It hasn’t happened yet as I’m sure they think I’m joking but I genuinely think it’s a good idea!

AllOfUsAreDead · 07/02/2022 01:27

In agony tonight. Got pulled muscles on my side and can't sleep. Pills aren't working well enough unfortunately for me to lie down. Hope others get to sleep, I'll be here all night unless I can manage to fall asleep sitting up.

Chichimcgee · 07/02/2022 01:31

@Confusedmeanderings
I really hope you have a good recovery.
My nanna explained to me once that the women in our family do great when we are fighting, we’ve all had it tough and we are strong and fight a diagnosis, fight for our kids, fight poverty, whatever.
But as soon as the fight is over we fall to bits. It’s like holding everything together and then letting go. Maybe now the diagnosis and mastectomy is done you’ve got the headspace to fall to bits for a while?
I wish I had some advice but you’re doing amazing Flowers

Tallisimo · 07/02/2022 01:39

@Coroico97 I find sitting on the loo really uncomfortable. A painful necessity 😂
I have a TENs machine arriving tomorrow as several people on one of my FB groups have found them helpful. I’m willing to give it a go.

Tallisimo · 07/02/2022 01:41

I just typed a long reply commenting on various people’s messages, but my IPad has eaten it. Twice! Suffice to say, I am sending you all virtual hugs.

ImNotDancing · 07/02/2022 01:42

@5YearsLeft @KTyoupigeon thank you both - I had visions of lying there with a dr staring up between my legs 🙈 that’s so helpful to know what to expect it’s made me feel a lot better

megletthesecond · 07/02/2022 02:20

DD has woken up with a temp and I've been booking her a PCR for first thing. She a double jabbed teen so it's not the end of the world but I'm mentally re-scheduling some things now.

allofus that's miserable. I've had pulled muscles in my ribs before and the pain was shocking. I do hope it eases off soon.

Glorieta · 07/02/2022 02:22

Here I am again! Croupy DC had a small coughing fit and now sleeping soundly.

My stomach is rumbling as i didn't eat enough at dinner time.

I'm also dreading work because I had some tense words with my boss last week about his actions (or rather inaction) not just by failing to resolve problems/conflict but also being damaging to the team and wider organisation.

I thought I'd feel better making my views clear and drawing my line in the sand but instead feel disappointed by his defensiveness and lack of reflective practice (we are in an industry where reflective practice is a fundamental element of our standards)

Oxborn · 07/02/2022 02:28

3rd night of not sleeping lost my beautiful Nan Friday and I’ve not been able to get her out of my head especially at night, I’m feeling so sad and lonely atm I just lay awake crying 😢

Chichimcgee · 07/02/2022 02:31

@Oxborn I’m so sorry for your loss Flowers

Chichimcgee · 07/02/2022 02:59

I really hope you’re all sleeping peacefully Smile

AllOfUsAreDead · 07/02/2022 03:10

Still bloody awake, pills are doing nothing at all. Whats the bloody point in pain killers that can't even handle muscle sprains?

Desiredeffect · 07/02/2022 03:27

Hi well I'm awake for the 2nd time tonight. No reason accept I don't have insomnia more sleep apnea and wake up many times in the night. Really getting to me now. I have a sleep clinic referral in so waiting for that and gp said I will need a cpap machine

namechanged221 · 07/02/2022 04:01

Hot flushes and night sweats woke me. Now I can't get back to sleep.
It's really scary waking up boiling hot and sweating and my heart is racing.
Need to go to the doctor but they are never much use for meno/pms issues at my GP

Confusedmeanderings · 07/02/2022 04:25

Still awake. Not worrying particularly, just awake! My cat decided at bed time that he wanted to go out. He usually sleeps at the end of my bed. So now I'm debating whether to get up and see if he wants to come back in. The problem is, my bed is nice and warm and I'm not sure that I want to get out of it even for him!
@Oxborn I'm sorry about your cat. She sounds lovely.

PartyAtSueGrays · 07/02/2022 04:33

Had spinal surgery last Monday and struggling to get comfy. Not pain as such just discomfort

MellowMelly · 07/02/2022 04:40

My cat has Dementia so he wakes me every 45 minutes for food at night because he forgot he ate. But what's actually made me wake up an hour ago and not be able to go back to sleep is my neighbour scuffling around on his front drive. He has drilled something into the wall and is now dragging rubble bags around. He isn't even being quiet about it.

Whattochoosenow · 07/02/2022 05:00

Woke up to the dog checking us to see if we’re both still alive. She came up to the bedside and sniffed my breath, then went round and did the same to DH, then hopped up on the bed. She’s not supposed to get up but I haven’t the heart to move her!

Confusedmeanderings · 07/02/2022 05:09

Ha! I braved the cold and went down. Awkward sod ignored me when I called him, but came running when I rang the little bell on one of his toys. He is now sitting at the end of the bed studiously ignoring me.

alwaysscared · 07/02/2022 09:25

@Chichimcgee I think we are at the playing PlayStation for a year point! His body is just running on adrenaline at the moment and it's really horrible to watch
@5YearsLeft thanks for the reply. He finally went to sleep around 1:30 and me not long after. We are desperate for help but it seems like it's a long way coming! I'm just exhausted.

5YearsLeft · 07/02/2022 11:11

Hey all - Er, I fell asleep. Turns out my migraine isn’t exactly a migraine so much as my eyes swelling again. I swear, I can hear them squeaking. It’s really disheartening, but I know it’s just the blood vessels playing merry hell, and just painful, not all that serious. But I’m still carrying it this morning.

Sorry I wasn’t up last night for so many new faces who are suffering through a lot in the night!!!

@Confusedmeanderings I think maybe @Chichimcgee has hit it, but you’ll know best: that only know the initial part of the cancer “fight” is over, do you feel safe to cry over things that seem smaller? Of course, nothing is really small; it’s all connected in our minds. And it could be that chemo is looming larger in your brain than surgery did and you’re more concerned about the changes from that (maybe your subconscious brain is afraid a bad haircut is the first!). My mom went through breast cancer in two parts, surgery and chemo, and it was difficult emotionally, because on the one hand she wanted to feel like all the cancer was gone the draining bit like the surgery but then the chemo can be difficult and you still have to go through that (sure, everyone LOGICALLY understands why, but emotionally it feels like you’re dealing with your cancer constantly, and maybe being chemo, it’s affecting you more). I hope maybe your cancer service offers counseling? And maybe they could help you with this, because it’s easy to say it could be one thing or the other, but none of us know your life, and you deserve to be as happy as you can be while going through this, so maybe a counseling session or two could help unknot it. If that’s completely not an option, then I recommend talking to whoever knows you best (unless you have perhaps toxic family relationships) and see what they think; they might know better than us. I wish you the very very best of luck, and you can always post on here.

@Walkoflife I’m so incredibly sorry and I know so often our pets are part of our family; they fill a spot no one else can. I’m just… so sorry. There’s not much else I can say. You’re going to go through grief just like everyone else who is grieving on this thread, and it sounds like things are already tough for you, so please, just be as gentle with yourself as possible.

@AllOfUsAreDead So sorry about the pulled muscles! I know they can be absolute agony, like you’ve said; like having a muscle cramp you can do nothing about. I’m sorry I wasn’t here last night or I would have said that sometimes when it’s very fresh, you’re best off with ice or heat, and you’ll get more direct relief from them straight on the muscles than trying to get a painkiller from your mouth to the muscles. Sometimes it’s so frustrating as we take them by mouth and I feel like the whole things ends up in your liver, without stopping to help the pain on the way. If you see this, so maybe give the ice a try if the injury is still fresh (less than 24 hours, still bruised feeling) or heat if it’s longer; a heated blanket is good for this.

@megletthesecond So sorry to hear about your daughter! The temperature can get high enough to be scary, and it’s hard to tell when asleep, but you’ll know if she’s not right in herself. I do hope it’s negative, though being that sick will I’m sure require moving some things regardless. Good luck!

@Glorieta Just what you need: added work stress! I do hope it all works out, but mostly I’m sorry to hear that you did what you thought was best, and, well, you got shite for it. It gets old, AND it’s not really acceptable, especially in industries that want reflective practices - part of the benefit of them is to do away with this culture of defensiveness that allows mistakes to perpetuate. So, it’s a shame you’re stuck in the middle of that. Sometimes you just have to know that you did the best you can, you did what you knew was right… and you have company best practices to back you up. Good luck today!

@Oxborn Im so incredibly sorry about the loss of your nan. I know it’s losing such a hugely important female figure in your life, and no one ever does the things a nan does. Your grief is still so, so new; we talk about grief often on these threads since it leads to a lot of insomnia, and I’ve said it roughly before but time doesn’t exactly heal - it just makes these feelings not quite so stabbingly fresh. You’ll find that in a while you won’t cry every night. And slowly, you’ll start getting a bit more sleep. But you’ll still have moments of sadness for a while after that, and that’s okay. You loved her, and she’s gone, and that leaves a void, and no one can pretend it doesn’t. I hope you got at least a wee bit of sleep last night.

@Desiredeffect I do hope the sleep clinic referral comes through soon! The combo of insomnia and sleep apnea is a lot to take, and sleep apnea is already going to keep you from feeling rested. Good luck!!!

@namechanged221 That’s so tough; I’ve been through waking up with the sheets so wet that I had to lay down a towel to go back to sleep. It’s hard to imagine what it’s like until you’ve lived it, and I can definitely understand it’s scary to wake up like that! Im so sorry your doctors aren’t taking this seriously. It’s just like any other medical problem, and you deserve to be heard. Is there any chance of another GP’s practice or even a gynae referral? Sometimes they can be much more help with HRT, if that’s what you need, and can do blood tests to make sure you’re getting the right combos and levels. But no, you shouldn’t just have to accept scary nights like that. I really hope you find better doctors.

@PartyAtSueGrays Ouch! Spinal surgery must be quite a thing. I’m glad it’s discomfort more than pain but hope it eases off a bit so you can sleep.

@Whattochoosenow Perhaps your dog could keep your cat @MellowMelly company, and then you could both get some sleep! While a dog checking you both so he could break the rules is a bit funny, a cat with dementia is a little sad, though I know he or she doesn’t exactly know it. And your neighbor, Melly, sounds like a loud jerk.

I do hope everyone finally found a bit of rest last night. And I’ll probably be sleeping most of the day away today as well with my eyes. I wish you all the best of luck with your various Mondays!

And obviously, the thread is closed since the sun is up, but if you need to reply, it’s always quasi-open. Like a pub.

OP posts:
Chichimcgee · 07/02/2022 12:21

neighbour scuffling around on his front drive. He has drilled something into the wall and is now dragging rubble bags around. He isn't even being quiet about it.

@MellowMelly maybe I watch too many crime shows but this would really freak me out!

MellowMelly · 07/02/2022 14:18

@5YearsLeft Yes it is a little sad bless him so I utterly forgive him when he shouts at me so frequently for food. If the meowing doesn't work...well he just stands on my face. Maybe I can borrow @Whattochoosenow dog haha!

@Chichimcgee I've just realised it does sound like a horror movie Grin Who does stuff like that at that time of morning (and it's not dodgy)?! I of course videoed him to show everyone as that seems to be compulsory these days Smile

AllOfUsAreDead · 07/02/2022 16:13

@5YearsLeft

I hope your migraine is gone. They suck so much.

I'm finally pain-free right now, but I didn't sleep all night so I'm feeling shit right now. Using hot/cold treatment too to help. Let's hope this continues.

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