To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight? Part 2: Insomnia Strikes Back

[5YearsLeft]

Bit awkward to start this in the middle of the day, but I wanted to be able to link it on the old thread before it completely fills. Meanwhile, even though right now it’s not post-midnight, if you’re having a day-after hangover from insomnia, feel free to post. Whether it’s from poorly children or babies or pets or OHs, whether it’s grief or fear or anxiety or other losses, whether it’s work stress or home stress or just LIFE stress, we get it. You’re not yelling into the void; you’re sharing with people who have been stuck wide awake, too.

In other news her miniature dog coat from Lidl is looking a bit short. So she must be growing in length not just circumference, I guess.

Sun is officially far up so thread is “shut” (we’re never really shut - feel free to leave a message any time). We’ll be back at midnight tonight.

@GluttonousGorgoyle I forgot to mention that I’m sorry your alarm clock is such a bastard and that if you hold it still, I’ll bring the cricket bat. Sorry you had to get up for the day, and I do hope it’s not too terrible.

@Wallywobbles Well, glad she’s growing a bit! How in the world is our mascot going to defend the thread in the MN All-Threads Sheep Championships if she doesn’t grow up to be a regular-size Crevette instead of a mini 🍤?

Amazingly I did manage to get a half-decent night’s sleep - although I was awake on and off for more than an hour and a half. I’m very grateful nonetheless.

I’ve got our dog staying with me for a couple of weeks (he lives with the ex usually) and I think maybe the exercise and general looking after a dog activity is making me more tired of an evening, so maybe that’s helping with the sleep.

@Coroico97 fantastic to hear your update! Brilliant news! To cut a long story short, I had a telephone consultation with the physio last week (no help whatsoever) and a face-to-face session next week. I’ve also been referred to the advanced physio team and have an appointment the following week. Apparently it’s this team that can assess if I am worthy of steroid injections, MRI scans etc. So fingers crossed.

Oh @5YearsLeft I’m sorry you have been made to feel this way. I have no first hand experience, thankfully, but I think sometimes it all gets too much for partners, and they can ‘blow’ in a really inappropriate way, especially if they have no outlet for their own emotions and feelings other than you. That’s not to excuse how he behaved and what he said. He needs to apologise, big time. There’s no way you should be made to feel like this. Moving house is stressful enough as it is without everything else you have going on in your life!

@MrsGlum sending you some hugs. You can always pop on here and vent, any time. Even if it’s not after midnight!

Sending hugs to everyone else who is suffering from a lack of sleep, whatever the reason x

Hello all, I’m still about. DD (eek I have a daughter!!) is cluster feeding at the moment and I’m exhausted, she’s feeding every 30-60 minutes and I’m trying to rest inbetween but I’m feeling slightly unhinged with exhaustion. Was DS birthday recently and he wanted something off Facebook marketplace, we walked but it was so much further than I thought and I’m in no way as recovered as I thought. Ended up taking nearly 3 hours and I felt like my stomach muscles and torn apart. Im resting today and trying to remember I’ve had major surgery lol

@Chichimcgee yay! Lovely to hear from you. I'm not surprised little Iris is feeding so much as she has a lot of catching up to do. In line with our little Crevette lamb, she will soon be outgrowing her clothes too

@Chichimcgee I was just thinking about you! But didn’t want to mention you in case you were struggling with your little one and just didn’t have time for MN. Oh gosh, what an accidental and slightly painful adventure it sounds like you had trying to get something for DS. I know these things happen, but what crap timing. But you’re absolutely right - you had a MAJOR surgery, even though for some reason they turf women out after 24 hours so often (which is why so many women end up back with infections and other problems, and men who have equal surgeries - cut open as much, sewn back together through as many layers of self - are given more painkillers, allowed to sign off work longer non-maternity so full pay, given longer stays in hospital, on and on. It’s not fair, but it’s the the way of it). I hope Iris finds an eating rhythm and you both get some very much needed rest, especially you, and that soon, you, she, and DS will all be able to find your rhythm in your lovely new house (believe me - I completely understand how it feels to get the house and then immediately feel so crap you can’t exactly enjoy it, but you will).

@Tallisimo He’s not quite apologized because he never does because there’s always a logical reason, sigh, but we started talking and we’re going to continue talking and I feel like he’s being a little nicer to me, so I don’t know if he just woke up and realized that no matter how stressed he was, he pushed it too far, or what. Also, I saw your comment to @Coroico97 and it just slays me that an advanced physio real gets to decide if you get MRIs and steroid injections and… your fucking diagnosis should decide those things! The doozy bastards. Ah, it just makes me so frustrated for you. I really do hope that at least they’re much more helpful than the phone appointment, which was roughly a chocolate teakettle, it sounds like.

@catwomando As always, an excellent point. The tiniest ones on the thread may drive their mums crazy, but it’s all part of their need to grow.

If it’s Tuesday, this must be Belgium,* BUT since it’s Wednesday after-midnight, it’s actually the after-midnight thread. If life is getting you down, if you have grief, stress, anxiety, pain, illness, vomiting children, poorly babies and pets and OHs, visiting parents, overthinking, worry, work concerns, good old-fashioned insomnia, then this is the thread for you.

You’re welcome to share whatever you want or need, however much or little makes you feel heard, so you can rest a little easier hopefully.

• “If it’s Tuesday, This Must he Belgium” is a GREAT classic film that I watched and laughed like a loon at with the grandparents when I was quite small.

Oh wow @5YearsLeft, I'd forgotten that film! I must see if I can find it and watch it again. I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Hang on in there. I'm sure it was a blip and I hope your DP is being more supportive now.

@Chichimcgee how lovely to hear from you! Be kind to yourself and try not to overdo things!

@Tallisimo I hope you get the treatments you want and clearly need.

As for me, I'm looking forward to a bit of fun tomorrow. There's a charity called Looking Good, Feeling Good and they do classes on skincare and makeup for people with cancer. I've got my session tomorrow. Its online but it will still be fun and I get sent a goody bag afterwards! My next chemo cycle begins on Monday, so I'm not looking forward to that. I intend to enjoy the next few says of feeling well as much as I can!

@Confusedmeanderings How lovely about tomorrow! I hope you enjoy it and it’s a nice time. I’m sorry about another round of chemo on Monday, but I do hope it’s doing what it’s meant to do, and that you can enjoy the days before then.

@5YearsLeft wise advice as ever- thank you.
How are you doing now?

@Tallisimo - thanks for the hugs.
I’m pleased you got a good sleep last night.
Hopefully the same tonight too.

@MrsGlum Absolutely no sleep for me. Stomach and back in shreds. Husband and I are trying to figure out where we went so far off the rails, so for today at least, he wheeled me over to coffee with my friends, which was deeply appreciated since if I’d still felt bad I might not have made it, and then he picked me up in my wheelchair. He’s got a huge meeting early tomorrow (this??? It’s less than an hour until he leaves here now) morning. Two hours in the bloody train just to make a two minute presentation. I really am trying to remember that he’s under the most stress he’s ever been under. He’s now admitted if it was between this or Afghanistan, he thinks he felt less stressed IN Afghanistan, and for his second tour there, he was on the ground with his interpreter and people were actively trying to kill him so… not a GREAT sign about how much stress he’s under. If he’s was 20 years older, I’d be worried about a heart attack. Also, when I asked him if he still loved me, in regards to the happens of the past two days, he said yes, but he says he also has a thin armor so he doesn’t feel constantly destroyed by watching me suffer, or… (“DOT DOT DOT.” Felt like one of those times I should say it out loud.)

In other news, I’m completely escaping my life by reading the Incryptid series by Seanan McGuire and it’s trashy good fun.

Hi everyone I hope you don't mind me posting just struggling to sleep. My life has become a complete mess. My ex and I divorced last year and I found out he's getting married this year. I know it's nothing to do with me but I am so upset by it. I haven't said anything. We have a 4year old together and it's very obvious my ex doesn't love me anymore and I'm okay with that most of the time. So I don't know why I feel this way. I was made redundant on Monday so now I'm job hunting. I just feel like my ex has landed on his feet with a woman who is quite well off and set up home together, while I've to struggled. It was me who initiated the split because I was unhappy even before our LO came along and I can't help thinking life is punishing me because I should have just stuck with him and been happy with having a roof over my head. But I was so isolated and miserable. Now it's even worse. I have no friends or family and now without any job I will have to take our LO out of nursery....life is just a mess. So I'm laying here awake feeling incredible sad. Broken and defeated.

@Heisrotten2thecore Oh gosh no, we never mind anyone posting. Everyone is welcome. First, I’m incredibly sorry you’ve been made redundant. I imagine that may have been just the extra thing you don’t need that broke you a little too much. The job hunt can be hard. I really do hope you find something without it being too bad. Now, about your ex. If he was the one isolating you and making you miserable… I think you might want to count your blessings. Yes, he may have landed on his feet (well off woman, life of Riley), but what about this other woman? To get her to marry him in under a year, I bet you anything I know the script: you’re the crazy ex who didn’t understand him, he lovebombed the hell out her so she thinks he’s just wonderful, and once they’re married… she’ll slowly find herself isolated and miserable, too. Also, I don’t know if “isolated” is very, VERY shorthand for abuse, because sometimes it can be, but chances are sky high that if he moved straight from you to her without any work on himself, that she may become a victim, too. The grass may look greener, but try to remember why you left. I’m sure it’s lonely and a terrible slog sometimes, but you’re free, your DD is free, and you’ll find another job, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the dark of the night.

Thank you 💐So nice to talk to someone xx

Hey all. A big hello from me and fat purry 🐈‍⬛. A little something to make you smile. We took both cats to the vet and as a treat bought them some catnip on the way home. The smaller cat loved it, rolled around on it, ate some and then was completely stoned . She sat, staring at a table leg for ages, then under the table with one ear up, and one down (weird) Then my DD picked her up (which she normally hates) and she just hung there tiny bean toes dangling like a long bean with tiny pupils, despite being right next to a sunny window. Then she got the munchies. 😂. Never knew how much fun it could be watching a little cat off her face. 

I had my induction at a new gym today (I really don't like the gym but need to kick start a road to fitness). Counter intuitively it seems to have made my tennis elbow feel less painful. Hope it lasts. Also went on a jaunt to pick up 3 big bags of horse poo for the garden from the local stables. Literal shit-shovelling -which is so much better than the metaphorical shit-shovelling I used to have to do at work  (and so much better for the roses in the garden).

@Heisrotten2thecore you don't need to feel alone now as we are all here . I've noticed over the years that men seem to move on incredibly quickly -whether they are abusive or not they just seem to breeze from one relationship to another. I don't know their secret but maybe they have lower standards for themselves and never really engage to the same depth as we do, and that's sad for them as they don't get to experience the incredible highs that go with that intensity. That said it's really hard to sit on the sidelines feeling stagnant as they move on. It takes ages to recover from a broken relationship and every person I've seen go through it went through the very stage you are in now (and felt miserable as sin) BUT everyone I've seen through it has at some point had a breakthrough point where they have healed themselves, start to feel bloody wonderful, strong and enjoy their freedom and independence. And one or two have found a new healthy, happy relationship. The key is to focus positive energy on you. - and part of that is finding the right new job. Being redundant is scary but gives you some (hopefully paid?) time to job hunt. Are there any benefits or increased maintenance from ex (even temporarily ) you can get to allow DD to stay in nursery ? Work stuff aside make sure you are eating well, getting outside every day for a walk (in nature if possible -it's a good de-stressor). A confident, healthy you will soon find her new place in the world. And if you are open to,it the world has a way of helping you find a new path that's right for you. Have confidence in yourself, you can see from this thread that women are universally bloody awesome and you belong to,that sisterhood of awesomeness (whether you feel,like that right now or not! ). Oh, and to help you along with the finding your inner awesomeness please may I recommend doing a superhero pose every day with DD ? It will be good and fun for you both. Giggling with awesomeness, who doesn't need that in their life ?

The picture below is for everyone on this thread.

More on the superhero pose.

fusionpta.com/superhero-pose-increases-confidence/

@catwomando, Thank you so much, so much strength and wisdom in your words. To the sisterhood ( raising my cup of tea) xx ☕

@Heisrotten2thecore chin chin !

Oh and just a little suggestion (said kindly and feel free to ignore) you might want to start your awesomeness discovery by changing your user name to 'wearimgmypantsontheoutside'' or similar? your rotten ex is so last year, daaahhlimg!

Hello! First time venturing to this thread but I've been awake since 3 with horrific ear infection pain

Hey @LeedleLee earache. Gah! It's the worst. Poor you. Tea helps. Tea helps everything! Do you know what's causing it?

@catwomando lol yes I think your right there😂😂

@catwomando I would honestly rather give birth again, it's that bad.

Yeah, severe inner ear infection. I'm on antibiotics but they can take a couple of days to kick in. Due to being preggers I can only take paracetamol which takes the edge off but that's it And we're supposed to be going away for the weekend tomorrow! Gah, I hope it improves by then.

@LeedleLee have you tried a warm hot water bottle on your face to ease the pain?

Also any chance of getting some acupuncture tomorrow to help non -chemically ?

Sun is (way) up so thread is “shut” (as always, we’re never really closed - you can leave a message any time you want; I just put the official opening at midnight).

I know so many with rough nights will be trying to make it through the day today and you can do it @MrsGlum @Tallisimo usually @purpleme12 @Heisrotten2thecore @Chichimcgee and now @LeedleLee
(Sidenote: I think @catwomando has it for ear aches, though you might try laying to the side with the infected ear with a cool compress, then a warm compress, and I’ve even heard someone recommend a compress containing salt, to try to let the swelling in your ear come down and a bit, and let it drain if there’s anything to drain, if you can let the swelling down).

Ok, I’ll be here to open the thread tonight and then I might be asleep, ha, since I was up all last night with stomach madness.

New babies. Mum is called Sophie and was bottle fed. Her mum wouldn't let her drink so not sure if sophie is going to be pro breast feeding!