To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight? Part 2: Insomnia Strikes Back

[5YearsLeft]

Bit awkward to start this in the middle of the day, but I wanted to be able to link it on the old thread before it completely fills. Meanwhile, even though right now it’s not post-midnight, if you’re having a day-after hangover from insomnia, feel free to post. Whether it’s from poorly children or babies or pets or OHs, whether it’s grief or fear or anxiety or other losses, whether it’s work stress or home stress or just LIFE stress, we get it. You’re not yelling into the void; you’re sharing with people who have been stuck wide awake, too.

I have no idea why loads of that text was in bold.

Or why it posted twice

@catwomando not bold for me and only posted once so maybe your phone (assuming that’s what you’re using) is playing tricks on you!
Sorry you’re feeling so rough

Been on a cleaning sprey at work, clean crap out of cupboards. Catching up with paper work and looking after residents, just sat down for 5 mins

Wow all, I guess the day wore me out a lot more than I thought. I was going to post last night and fell asleep while I was writing. I managed to get about six hours of sleep.

@Chichimcgee I hope you hear about the house!

@catwomando So I heard so you need the prescription-strength turmeric??? Lol. In all seriousness, no, it’s not your fault. You had COVID, you were ill, you did the best you could. These things, they happen. I can’t even keep up yoga when I don’t have COVID, ha. So don’t feel too guilty. As for my appointment, it really wasn’t too bad - I always forget that my consultant and I get along really well and always have some laughs because she and I both try to separate me from my illness. We both lamented the fact we were hoping not to have to have this wheelchair discussion for two more years, but what can you do - that’s life. I’ve gotten worse faster than I thought. She also tried to make me feel a lot better about the aquarium by telling me she just went to the museum on Sunday herself and after an hour or two, she was absolutely spent. I pointed out to her though, she’s also a doctor who works like 16 hours every day, ha. My main job is trying to sleep when I can, take care of the things in my household like booking the move and finding the new apartment, and definitely not anything that takes 16 hours a day. Anyway, she’s also going to run a ton of blood tests to see where my body is, though my inflammation can be a pain in the butt and just sort of generically cover everything so it might be tough to tell, but it’s worth at least checking. And she gave me the terrible news that the lady who is the best at drawing blood in the neurology lab retired. I think that was the worst part to hear! So I’m going back for my blood draw first thing Friday morning as hydrated and rested as possible.

@vodkaredbullgirl Glad you got 5 minutes to sit down, though that’s not much! Hope you get maybe a little more time than that.

The sun is halfway risen here so I think I might make a cup of tea.

@5YearsLeft six hours 🥳

Bad news re the phlebotomist, how selfish of her to retire  maybe she could make an exception for you and come back every now and then ?

I'm sorry about the wheelchair. It's a huge step (sorry, clumsy phrase) but will mean that you can have a bit of freedom to get about. My mum was sooooo resistant and finally I persuaded her and it's given a new lease of life and she can come places with me that were previously out of bounds. I hope that it does the same for you, and allows you to have more disaster-free trips out.

And you do definitely have superpowers. Who else can be as ill as you and still manage to move apartment, which is one of the most difficult and stressful things going. When do you move?

And talking of moving @Chichimcgee I'm keeping everything crossed for you. Awesome work,by the way getting this far.

I'm off to the office for the final time to say goodbye. It will be weird. But before that, some yoga !

Have a good day everyone

@catwomando Funny you say that about the exception because my neurologist and I did joke about perhaps I could get her to do private appointments, like a mobile hairdresser. But then again, I’d honestly rather have my neurologist take the blood herself. She took it once and I’ve never seen anything like it in my entire life and I doubt I ever will again. She basically just poured a half bottle of alcohol the middle of my arm and then poked the needle in about five times in maybe five seconds until she hit a vein. Honestly, it was incredibly less painful than one very slow poke and then them trying to dig around once the needle is in and they didn’t hit a vein which NEVER, ever works on me - if you don’t hit the vein, you won’t hit the vein. It knows you’re there. I finally asked her today what that technique was because it’s a legend in my house now and she just laughed and said the German technique of just pushing it (she’s from Germany originally; I’m terrified she’ll move back there at some point, lol). But I imagine this isn’t an official “technique” because you can’t use a half bottle of alcohol on someone’s whole arm every time, and they fear micro droplets of blood maybe splattering back in their face, which maybe my neurologist didn’t because she’s seen every blood test I’ve ever had for 5+ years, but still. So. We’ll see if they can manage to get it Friday morning. THE SUSPENSE!!!!

The move is officially on the 28th. I’ve booked the movers and the moving supplies because I can’t actually be here for the move. It’s too high stress and I have to be able to sit down and rest for most of a day, unfortunately, so I’ll probably spend the time of the actual move at maybe a friend’s house or a cafe for a bit. Even the packing now will be mostly me directing other people when it comes to my stuff, because if I starting bending over a lot, my back will be done in for a week.

Ah, I’m sure it’s terribly bittersweet saying the final goodbye to your office; I hope the yoga helps with some calm. And I do hope that whatever’s next, it does end up being more healthy than your office management were (even though I know your coworkers were lovely and you loved the job).

And now… the sun is up and the thread is mostly shut. But you can always post on the thread whatever time you want or need to share. The thread will be back tonight (though who knows?? Maybe I’m a sleeping person now?! Ha) and good luck to everyone making it through this Thursday on less sleep than we’d like.

And good luck for house news @Chichimcgee!

Good evening!
Hope it’s quiet because everyone is sleeping!

Thank you both, I contacted everyone yesterday and managed to get an offer that’s meant to be 10-14 days down to a couple of hours! Got a viewing on Tuesday as it can’t be done any earlier but fingers crossed I’ll sign and get keys then!

@catwomando do you follow any particular yoga videos or do it on your own? I do like yoga but never feel like I’m getting any better, which I suppose isn’t the point of it but would be nice to follow a video without feeling like an unbalanced elephant!

@5YearsLeft my veins are shy, they go in sideways, scrape the elbow bone, forage about, it’s horrible. There’s been one time when I was pregnant before where the midwife took my bloods and I didn’t even notice! I asked her how she did it and she said ‘properly’

@Wallywobbles

And some lamb portraits too. Obviously.

Love this!

Btw I found a cure!

Go and give blood. Knocked me out like a light from 4pm until 8am the next day.

But its a short lived cure, so here I am back again :)

So weird your talking about blood taking OP!

I literally didnt read before posting because who would of thought that would be a topic on here.

Super odd coincidence

@Chichimcgee I started in a class in the local council gym (Cheap!), which helped me to learn the basics.

After that I added in Adrienne on YouTube (she's lovely and has loads of courses).

Then Upped my game by joining a local yoga place. it can get a bit competitive though, which can be intimidating, but I did find it drove me to challenge myself more. I got really fit and strong (which was my aim)

Then lockdown and I lost that drive to push myself. Then found Asana rebel paid-for app (but much less than classes). It's a bit American-y but had lots of variety and pushes me harder so I get the best out of it .

In the sleep front DH has just come in late from the pub. Swayed upstairs and then just lay down and went to sleep. He can just do that. Says 'I'm tired and going to sleep' and then does. Bastard.

I've just woken up with a hot flush again and now can't nod off. Bleurgh. And now both my arms are painful so I can't get comfortable. FFS.

Who else is awake tonight? Any regulars or newbies😆?

@LemonSwan maybe there is something to the idea of using leeches?

@catwomando
Ooh thanks for that I will have a look!

I’m still awake, only a couple of weeks until my due date and just feel uncomfortable. DS is struggling with the situation and is watching ghostbusters. Seems pointless trying to keep in a routine when everything is like it is.

I’m awake (yet again) because I’m currently going through a hellisih withdrawal from an antidepressant medication.
I haven’t been able to sleep without some sort of aid for nearly a month now.
I’m totally miserable and worried that I’ll never sleep again.

Hello again..

Another one woken by a hot flush and now can't go back off. Covers on, covers off; too hot, too cold.. it's blummin exhausting.

Have read the news, looked at the weather forecast, checked my bank balance, mooched round Facebook. Bored bored bored.

Welcome to a very late “opening” of the after midnight thread! Looks like everyone’s already here. Obviously the thread had been open for several hours now. Sorry about that! My household has been a bit of disaster. DH had an absolutely horrific day at work yesterday, the kind you hopefully only have once every decade, but that also means that he then tried to forget it by drinking the way you hopefully only drink once a decade (this is just incredibly unlike him; but he’s also having some issues that when we move he’ll be “losing” his pub). I just woke up to him really sick, I’m supposed to be having my neurology blood tests at 8am, I really need the toilet (UPDATE: just was able to get the toilet), but it’s a nightmare, and trying to get him off it could be really difficult.

ANYWAY. 4am here, 3am for everyone else.

@Chichimcgee Wondeful news about the house!

@catwomando I can’t believe your husband just wandered in from the pub! What is it with husbands wandering in from the pub tonight! At least yours just wandered in and went to sleep. Seriously, my DH has NEVER vomited from drink in 13 years and yet he’s done it twice now in the past six months. There’s no doubt in my mind it’s the stress from this job, and maybe this would still seem like not much to a lot of people, but it’s a horrible pattern to me (13 years - 0, six months - 2).

@LemonSwan Ah, I can’t donate blood because of my illnesses! I actually USE a product (immunoglobulin) made from donated blood and plasma though to keep me alive though, so I’m more grateful than you’ll ever know to people like you. But hey! If it puts you to sleep, that’s one quality sleep every six months! Better than a poke in the eye.

@jowly I hate that! I’ve had nightly fevers that feel a lot like hot flashes since 2020 and it’s so like that; too hot, too cold, blankets on, blankets off, DH trying to snuggle me because I’m “nice and warm” but I want to kill him because if I feel nice and warm to him that means a fever, ha. But it does get tiring mooching around.

@MrsGlum Oh gosh, antidepressant withdrawal can be absolutely brutal for a lot of people, I know (a lucky few have it easy; we don’t really know why). I hope they’ve slowly decreased your medicine and not just tried to go cold turkey? They’ve shown that can help a lot with withdrawals but it doesn’t get rid of all the symptoms, unfortunately. But you WILL be able to sleep again. This is definitely something chemical that’s happening right now, but it will end. Everyone I know who’s gone through it, if any of the symptoms they had, they may have struggled with a few others for a while, but the sleep definitely came back. It really depends on your medication, but it’s not uncommon for it to take minimum six weeks from whenever you finish it completely, and that’s even with slowly decreasing it to hopefully push off the worst of withdrawals, for normal rhythms like sleep to return (I know some medications take slightly less, and some take even longer, so don’t give up hope!!!!).

@jowly I've just watched 'your garden made perfect'. A new series in iPlayer. Quite soothing. Off to watch old episodes of Gardeners’ world now. Am officially middle aged. Have you tried HRT? I'm asking for it next week as I'm 8 years into menopause and 15 since peri, and still flushing /tired/aches/insomnia . Grrrrr

@Chichimcgee 2 weeks left! How exciting. And yes to going with the flow with your DS. Sometimes you just have to do what's needed to get through. Play the long game. With my second I remember feeling so huge and uncomfortable. He was so long (he's now over 6feet tall!) and used to hook his feet under my ribs and stretch out. Ooof. He kicked a lot too. There was a time at work when I was in a big meeting, only woman at the big boardroom table trying hard to fit in. He kicked my bowels really hard and I farted. I mean a loud, uncontrollable trump. . Yikes. Luckily the men in the room had manners enough to totally ignore it and pretend it hadn't happened. I just brazened it out whilst quietly dying inside. 😂

He was 9 pounds in the end but came out pretty easily. I found an exercise ball helped as I could sit on it , lean on it and used it in labour to help open my cervix. And it was packed away after as we had no space in our flat.

It must be so hard for you needing to nest and not quite having the nest to prepare? I'm keeping everything crossed that something comes up soon. Do you have help to move and get set up? Do you have what you need (not that tiny babies need much) ?

Hello. I have trouble sleeping anyway (Apnea, HRT, teenagers with SN). But yesterday I learned that the man I love has terminal cancer. We are in a LDR and I may not see him again. I cried myself to sleep at 8pm, woke on the dot of 1am & am still awake. I think I don't want to go back to sleep and wake up to remember all over again.

@catwomando I love gardeners world.. although a bit more of the old 'how to do things' would be good, and a bit less of other peoples gardens. Fussy I know, and they've had the pandemic to navigate. There's an interesting thread on here about colour schemes. I've just started buying seeds for this year and it's made me think I might not have my usual mish mash and try something a bit more organised.

I haven't tried HRT.. Im probably through the worst of it tbh, although night sweats/flushes have lingered. I was never too keen on taking it, but then I didn't have too many day time flushes to contend with, unlike some friends and colleagues who really suffered. I think overall I probably have been quite lucky..

Hello there @5YearsLeft So sorry for your DH. Having difficulty at work is just so horrible (says the woman who has just walked away from a very good job for,that very reason). It just kind of envelopes you, you lose all good judgement, get hyper-emotional and angry at the shit storm you are in (often bad experiences come from people being bullies/unfair/arseholes/nepotism/political) and it just makes you want to explode with rage. But you can't so you have to internalise it. Unfortunately drink is one way to temporarily obliterate and allows you to rant incoherently as when you are drunk no one expects you to make sense

Has your DH got a work coach - someone outside his firm but in his industry that he trusts and can talk to? My saving grace is a bestie who understands the work climate but can help me to be objective and make a plan to act in my own best interests. For example in my recent situation she encouraged me to use my project management skills to plan and work towards my exit, channelling all energies to that goal. It worked, but without her kicking me up the backside I'd probably still be in there miserable and floundering. Good friends are worth their weight in gold in these situations (mostly a spouses job is to be there to sympathise, hug and feed them, and offer paracetamol for the hangovers).

6 months ago I was sitting at my computer crying as I was just so miserable, feeling angry at the unfair what is been treated, undervalued, shit at my job and just so, so low. Today I went in to say goodbye to the nice people. Glowing, energetic, exited about the possibilities of my yet-uncharted future and it felt great. Your DH will get there too, but it will probably take time. You both have a lot going on so it's bound to spill out somewhere, somehow. Hugs to you both x

@52andblue

I'm so sorry. Such news is always heartbreaking, to be at a distance even harder. Is there no chance of seeing him? Could someone offer some practical help to facilitate it?

Life is so cruel sometimes.

@52andblue I'm so sorry, that's really horrible.

Hello
I’m awake as my 8yo woke me up at 2.30 and I can’t get back to sleep. I’m peri-menopausal so any middle of the night wake up is an issue.

I’m so sorry @52andblue. That’s an awful thing to deal with.

(but not too vigorously as my arms both hurt ). Welcome to the 'bloody menopause' corner.