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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect people I know to read my book?

464 replies

bethc765 · 04/02/2022 15:32

In October I released my first book. It's something I've been working on for a long time and something I've dreamt of since I was little.

It's been really well received, got a brilliant critical reception and I've had excellent feedback from readers.

But not a single person apart from my DH has even bought it. I was out with a friend recently and we went into Waterstones and I pointed it out and she remarked "oh i didn't realise it was a proper book and in shops and stuff".

I have a signing event coming up in March and mentioned it in passing and my friends seemed perplexed as to why anyone would want a book signed by me.

I support my friends with their endeavours so I'm a little bit hurt that nobody I know has shown the slightest bit of interest in something that was really important to me. I'm not even asking them to read it- just pretend they have!

OP posts:

Juniper68 · 04/02/2022 15:41

Yanbu. You probably can't say the book as it's outing. Just pm us so those that want it can buy it.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 04/02/2022 15:41

I'd avoid reading it.

After all, if it's utter drivel (not saying yours is, but I am assuming that you aren't Nadine Dorries trying to change an outing fact here), if you know I've read it, you might expect me to say how brilliant it is.

PurpleDaisies · 04/02/2022 15:41

Reading is really personal taste. I wouldn’t necessarily read it but I’d be supportive in other ways.

Wreath21 · 04/02/2022 15:42

This sort of thing can be particularly upsetting if you have generally supported friends' endeavours in the past (going to see them perform or play sport, buying from their little cupcake business or whatever). But maybe OP doesn't know enough interesting creative people and all her mates are drones who can't understand that art/culture/books etc are produced by people like them who need support...

Mins001 · 04/02/2022 15:42

But people are so lazy/tired these days, a lot can't even be arsed to return texts, you really expect them to read an entire book?

That said, if you were a good friend of mine I would buy it. I might not have time to read it all, but I would definitely buy it.

Congratulations on your success!

TeenPlusCat · 04/02/2022 15:43

I think it depends.

If it was a genre I enjoy then I'd buy and read it on the quiet, and only tell you if I enjoyed it.

If it was a genre I don't enjoy e.g. horror then I wouldn't.

My DB has written 3 books. I have them all but haven't read them as I couldn't get beyond the first page. Perhaps because they were complicated science based textbooks rather than novels

StrychnineIntheSandwiches · 04/02/2022 15:43

@NeverDropYourMooncup

I'd avoid reading it.

Ah a friend of mine could write the driveliest drivel and I'd skim read a few chapters and then lie through my teeth and tell her she'd done a great job.

Honesty is often overrated.

stuntbubbles · 04/02/2022 15:43

YABU, sorry. I and everyone I know was like this with our first books. Then we calmed down Writing is work. Do you ask to see your friends’ lesson plans, accounts, digital marketing project, new veterinary equipment, or whatever else it is they do for work?

No one outside publishing really knows or cares what goes on; so the “real book in Waterstones” isn’t a dig, it’s just… that’s not their industry. I’ve got friends who think I’m a NY Times bestseller because the book was reviewed by the NY Times, or think I designed the cover, because they just don’t know. But equally I haven’t got a clue what they do at work all day, so we’re even.

psychomath · 04/02/2022 15:43

Bit unreasonable to expect everyone to have read it just because they know you - it's quite a time investment, and some people really don't enjoy reading. Very very not unreasonable to expect your friends to have realised it's "a proper book in shops and stuff" or to (at least pretend to) be interested in the signing! Are they like this with other big things in your life as well?

Lux523 · 04/02/2022 15:45

I have 2 very close friends that are very successful published authors.

I purposely don't buy their books as I don't mix 'business with pleasure' and I think it creates an expectation of feedback.

It's the same as having a personal rule that I won't give legal advice to anyone that I know. I'll always tell them to instruct a Solicitor in the area of law that they require.

Also, not everyone has the finances or desire to buy books.

I do support my friends in other ways though.

YABU.

grapewine · 04/02/2022 15:45

Is it the kind of book they'd be interested in? I think you're a little bit unreasonable. If I had to buy books or crafts written or made by friends or people I know, I'd end up spending a lot of money just because.

I hope your signing goes well. Congratulations.

JonSnowedUnder · 04/02/2022 15:46

I thinks it's odd they haven't. If you were one of my friends I would definitely buy it and tell you it was amazing (even if it wasn't).

It's a huge achievement, congratulations!

MayBMaybenot · 04/02/2022 15:46

What is the book about? A steamy novel or a lengthy study of ....

Regardless of authorship, my reading habits are what they are and there are some types of book I wouldn’t read. I certainly would not force myself to sit down with something which is of no interest to me even if my best friend/child/favourite aunt wrote it.

Oneearringlost · 04/02/2022 15:47

A close family member by marriage asked me to read and review his 2 books.
The first was a novella, easy enough to get through and was happy enough post a genuinely good review.
The second was quite a large volume, historical fiction. My heart sank, but the more I read, the more enjoyed it even though it would not have been my choice to pick up.
I genuinely ended up enjoying it and fed back a real and heartfelt appreciation.
Had he not asked, I would not have picked either up.
Have you openly asked your (good) friends?
If they are truly good friends, I would imagine they would do that for you ( and perchance, enjoy your writing).
Sometimes one has to openly ask, difficult, I know.
Congratulations on your book and all the best for a lucrative and satisfying literary career.

Triphazards · 04/02/2022 15:47

What has your writing a book got to do with your friends?

amylou8 · 04/02/2022 15:47

My friend wrote a book. I bought it and read it. Not my usual genre and I thought it was going to be a chore, but it was well written and I enjoyed it. I guess some people aren't readers, but id expect close friends to give it a go, or at least express an interest.

Floralnomad · 04/02/2022 15:47

If a good friend of mine had written a book I’d probably have expected to be given a copy , I find it odd that your husband bought one .

RiverSkater · 04/02/2022 15:48

It depends.

If it's my genre of fiction yes I'll read it.

If it's not then as much as I love you I won't.

But I would be proud of you and interested!!

Ducksareruiningmypatio · 04/02/2022 15:48

@Iamanicepersonreally

I think you're being a bit precious.

This I'm afraid. My friend wrote a book, I started trying to read it. It was terrible and I had to lie to her. I'd never buy a friend's book again in case I was put in that situation again

SlowBoiledFrog · 04/02/2022 15:49

Ah a friend of mine could write the driveliest drivel and I'd skim read a few chapters and then lie through my teeth and tell her she'd done a great job.

Honesty is often overrated

Agree, but I've also gone to admire other friends new machine, still have no idea what it is or does really, but I know being able to buy it was important to them, equally gone to the opening day of my friends treatment room. I don't see support like that as mixing business and pleasure and whilst I didn't enjoy my friends book, I was still very proud of her.

psychomath · 04/02/2022 15:49

Also agree that it can be awkward reading books by people you know (a relative of mine has written several novels and they're dreadful - luckily they're not the type of person to care whether I've read them!) but in this case it sounds like they're just not interested rather than intentionally avoiding it?

MrsRussell · 04/02/2022 15:49

I feel your pain, but it's kind of awkward if they hate it...

My old manager read all mine when he was in hospital having surgery on his leg and he was a little bit shocked at how sweary and violent they were (historical fiction but I think he was expecting it to be a bit more genteel than what he got. Mate, I write about battles. I know I make you a brew when you're in my office, but in my books, you're more likely to get shot in the head.) Our relationship was always a bit wary after that - it was like he was talking to the polite administrator but he knew underneath that was the cavalry officer with a bad temper and a sword.

CleanUpTime · 04/02/2022 15:50

A friend of mine wrote a book we were all excited about it lots of us purchased it and supported them so YANBU in regards to that

However the book was shocking. I couldnt even finish it. He then had a second book and we never promoted or even pretended to read that one

purplecorkheart · 04/02/2022 15:50

Congratulations on your book. Can I ask if it is fiction or non fiction. As some one else said I would be uncomfortable read a sex scene written by a friend of mine or start trying to identify characters from real life. Non fiction depending on can be boring if you are not interested in the topic, no matter how well written.

mumda · 04/02/2022 15:50

@ClumpingBambooIsALie

I would avoid reading a book specifically because it was written by a close friend/family member. What if it's got a sex scene in it?!!

That's exactly the right thing to do.

I have a friend who has now self-published a dozen plus books. They are pure filth!

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