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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect people I know to read my book?

464 replies

bethc765 · 04/02/2022 15:32

In October I released my first book. It's something I've been working on for a long time and something I've dreamt of since I was little.

It's been really well received, got a brilliant critical reception and I've had excellent feedback from readers.

But not a single person apart from my DH has even bought it. I was out with a friend recently and we went into Waterstones and I pointed it out and she remarked "oh i didn't realise it was a proper book and in shops and stuff".

I have a signing event coming up in March and mentioned it in passing and my friends seemed perplexed as to why anyone would want a book signed by me.

I support my friends with their endeavours so I'm a little bit hurt that nobody I know has shown the slightest bit of interest in something that was really important to me. I'm not even asking them to read it- just pretend they have!

OP posts:
hiredandsqueak · 04/02/2022 16:20

Well done OP. I would read your book as I'm an avid reader and read loads. Of my friends and family only one would maybe read if the genre appealed to them the rest wouldn't buy a book. Maybe your friends and family don't read.

Singlebutmarried · 04/02/2022 16:21

I bought a book written by a relative. Eeesh. It was awkward to say the least as it was a load of bunkem. They knew I’d read it, and asked for feedback. Blush

DysmalRadius · 04/02/2022 16:23

You need a friend like me - I read a book written by the daughter of the lady that cleans the changing rooms of the swimming pool because she (the mum) told me she was a writer and I thought it woukd be awkward to see her if I didn't make an effort to read it! So I would definitely have read yours rather than ever admit I hadn't to you, even if it was a quick skim so I could make some appropriate comments!! Sorry your friend aren't more interested but at least you know they're not just friends with you because you're bookshop famous...! Wink

muddyford · 04/02/2022 16:24

A friend published a book. It was the most pretentious load of twaddle. Life is too short to read a book I am not interested in, just because a friend wrote it.

Lovemusic33 · 04/02/2022 16:25

I think you are being a little but unreasonable but can understand why you are annoyed. I wouldn’t buy something unless I was interested in it. It’s a bit like friends selling beauty products or Anne summers, I wouldn’t buy those things just to be supportive 😬.

Cherryblossoms85 · 04/02/2022 16:25

Is it a particularly inaccessible topic? If it's just a novel designed for a general audience then YANBU...

NewPapaGuinea · 04/02/2022 16:26

Absolutely. People seem to fall over themselves buying the latest celebrity endorsed product, but when it comes to supporting a friend’s venture you hear crickets.

NewPapaGuinea · 04/02/2022 16:26

PS. What’s the book?

Midlander88 · 04/02/2022 16:27

Congratulations!! I'm a writer too and experience the same thing. I don't think it's them slighting you - people are just a combination of really lazy and exhausted by work and life stresses. And also, how many of them regularly read books in your genre?

Whenever I win a prize, friends always text me well done, but I don't think any of them have read any of my work. If you're a performer or playwright, at least people will have a good night out coming to your show, but books are much more of a commitment. I think just don't worry, they're not your audience. You want a Bloomsbury group really - a little friendship group of people who like each other's work!

Workconundrummergirl · 04/02/2022 16:28

But wouldn't you want to read a friend's book? I would. this! OK, I don't expect Stephen Kings friends to still be excited by a new book, make vaguely excited noises when you see it in a book shop with him etc but for a first book you at least show some enthusiasm!

Oh wow, it's so exciting seeing your name on a book I na book shop!! I haven't had chance to read it yet but I will and I'm so proud of you.

I mean is that so hard??

Etinoxaurus · 04/02/2022 16:28

V close relative wrote a roman à clef called (very slightly amended for anonymity) Dreadful Sex
We all know about it and it is never mentioned.

OP, it’s bloody rude of them. Another close relative published a book with a launch party and everything and he occasionally teases me about not having read it, he made a reference to a joke in it I didn’t get. I did however buy at least a dozen copies

AlternativePerspective · 04/02/2022 16:29

Thing is, if they buy the book, then you would presumably want them to tell you what they thought of it, and would you really be prepared for if they said they didn’t enjoy it?

Obviously it’s great for you that you’ve had positive reviews, but literature is very subjective, and it’s a fact that not everyone will like it, and what if your friends are some of those who don’t.

A friend of my parents wrote a book a few years ago. Both me and my dad bought and read it on kindle. Thing is, it was shit. And as I only have limited contact with her it was easy for me to just say “yeah, I bought it, thought it was ok,” and leave it at that, but if she’d been a close friend it’s likely that she would have picked up on what I thought of it, and that would presumably have made things more difficult.

Seriouslymole · 04/02/2022 16:29

I get why you are annoyed but it's quite unusual to expect your friends to buy your book. BIL wrote a book, almost by way of therapy I think, and it was apparently brilliant (I still haven't read it) but he sent DH a signed copy, which is really nice. DH (who never reads anything) actually read it and loved the fact that it had been written by his DB.

So YANBU to want people to read it but YAB a tiny bit U to expect them to buy it. I'm surprised that people are not embracing the whole book signing thing though. I would be over the moon for a friend of mine who'd reached that sort of literary standard.

Congrats

NewPapaGuinea · 04/02/2022 16:29

It was nice of your husband to buy a copy - didn't you get any free author's copies, though?

Back when CD’s were still a thing, musicians used to go into shops and buy their own albums. This is the same thing.

Wheelz46 · 04/02/2022 16:30

I think you are being unreasonable to expect them to read it but it's not unreasonable to expect them to support you.

I only like certain genres, so if the reading material didn't interest me, I wouldn't be able to engage in the book. Having said that, I would buy it, I would attend the book launch and have it signed.

Carolcole · 04/02/2022 16:30

YANBU - you buy a friend's book and you find something nice to say about it.

HerculesMulligan · 04/02/2022 16:30

OP, your friends are rubbish! My DH has had books published and short stories, as have a few of my friends, and I buy them and read them very happily. They aren't all books I'd choose in other circumstances, but as acts of friendship go, it's a pretty easy thing to do. Congratulations on your book!

savehannah · 04/02/2022 16:30

I know the feeling. I sing in a choir and perform in theatre shows and apart from my parents nobody I know ever comes to see my shows, even though they are genuinely good and get amazing reviews from people who do come.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 04/02/2022 16:31

If you are who I think you are, can I ask why you wrote this on your Twitter page? "Thanks to all who brought and supported [the book]"

I do hope you come back and answer some questions.

Congratulations, by the way.

Actupfishy · 04/02/2022 16:31

Congratulations, what an achievement!

You are definitely not being unreasonable x

stuntbubbles · 04/02/2022 16:32

then you would presumably want them to tell you what they thought of it,
Christ, no. Take the royalties and run.

whataboutbob · 04/02/2022 16:32

I can see why that would upset you. Equally, there is something very intimate about writing a book, and there can be an awkwardness about reading a close friend’s output, the feeling that the friendship might somehow go off kilter as unexpected experiences, ideas and feelings are revealed. I have a beloved cousin who writes books, and frankly I felt awkward when I read his first one. I’ve got into it since as he’s written a few.

SartresSoul · 04/02/2022 16:32

YANBU. My friend published a book a few years ago and I was first in line to buy it. It wasn’t really my taste but obviously still threw lots of praise her way. Your friends aren’t very good mates.

lostinthejungle22 · 04/02/2022 16:33

It sounds like your modesty minimised your achievement and as a result friends don't know it's a "real book and in shops and stuff"! You should shout from the rooftops about your book to promote it and have it all over your social media which I presume your friends follow you on.

MrHavelIsHot · 04/02/2022 16:33

I would buy and read your book if you were my friend. I’d be interested because I’m interested in things that matter to my friends, even if it wasn’t my thing. If I didn’t enjoy it I’d still be proud of you and happy for you. If I didn’t like it. it would be a bit watchIng my son play football, I don’t like football, I do it because I’m interested in my son.

Congrats OP. I hope you tell us what the book is.