building manager at work ruining my work life

[Vivbevorcath]

I work in an office of around 250 people in central London. I am in a senior position in finance, being a woman it has not been easy to get here over the last decade and i am performing well for the company and I am a good boss to my reports. So a valued employee and generally believed to have good behaviours (according to my 360 references and good end of year “behaviour” scoring .)

The office is open 24/7 because it is a busy industry, so working in lots of different time zones. It’s also quite an intense job where you burn out quickly. It’s hard to juggle with family life and most people can do it solidly for around 10 years and then need to take a break. I work 90 hour weeks, often work weekends, and have 3DC under 5. I often don’t sleep at night and I try to do my share of school drops and pick ups, so I feel like a headless chicken most of the time. The management team at my company acknowledge that I always go above and beyond, I win them plenty of business and I am a strong part of the revenue line which pays everyone’s salaries in our London office.

There is a man who is the site manager at the office who seems to have decided to make my office life a living hell. The reason is that I have lost several of my office passes to get into the building and have required new ones over the years. OR due to the fact I am always dashing about, I have unexpectedly had to go into the office and collect something and needed a temporary pass.

Over the last two years he has done and said the following which I find disrespectful to me and unkind:

• confronted me in the canteen, raising his voice and standing over me in front of 50 staff about me losing office passes and threatening to “lock me out of the building” if I do not return them
• sending constant emails to the whole office (250 people) telling them that I have lost passes.
• sent me bills to pay for new passes to be made
• followed me into the lift and said things like “I caught you. You were trying to get away from me but I caught up.”
• coming into my office and demanding I empty my bag and show him how many passes I have and which ones they are, while I am in a meeting
• my colleagues tell me he is constantly in and out of my office when I am not there moving things around and looking for things (I understand the office is not my property but if he goes in every day when I am not there, surely that is needless?) he then often sends me an email cc’d into the management saying that I have left a mess or I did not fill my bin properly or my plant is dying end needs watering or I am using an old version of windows that is not compatible with the system!!
• he has implied that he has access to all the security cameras and that he has seen me “up to no good” (I presume he means with the passes again!) he seems to think I have a visitor’s pass from long ago that I secretly use but honestly I have no idea - there is just a pass that I use (it is a plain white card… I don’t know if it’s a visitor’s or not)
• the final straw is I came in today to do someone a favour (some extra work for the CEO) and he has remotely blocked my pass! So I could not get in. The work was time sensitive, I was banging on the door, and had to beg the security at reception to let me in. I will now have to go to him and ask for another pass and be subjected again to all of this.

Anyway. I think I am done with this and might just explode at him. I know workplace safety is important but I think he has gone too far. AIBU?

This is bullying, plain and simple.
You need to make a formal complaint and include everything you have written above in your statement

What the actual fuck!!!!! that is crazy what do your bosses say when they are dragged into this odd mans obsession? What do you say when he tries to berate you? Seriously I would make a formal complaint about him he is intimidating and bullying you.

You could try not losing so many passes?

The people on less than twenty grand a year have to pay for replacements as well in most firms. Is there any reason apart from being a very important woman with children why you should be exempt from this?

You certainly shouldn't be using a visitor pass, as that would come up on the system as a random person - in the event of a fire or other major event, there's no indication that it's you - which also has implications for security in terms of who was in a building at the time of a theft/other crime. It's pretty reasonable that if somebody is using a visitor pass when they aren't a visitor that it is blocked when the user won't hand it in; he'd be in trouble if he didn't pursue that - especially if on occasion, you've used multiple pass cards.

And there is the other side; you've got this position, but you can't manage to even keep hold of your pass or know what pass you are actually using because you lose so many of the things. It makes you look like you're not really coping with the role.

In my bugger all money and really not that important job, I have my pass and key fob, plus lanyard and carabina (as I detest wearing the thing round my neck, the clips are less than secure and, frankly, a carabina means if I drop it, I hear it and it doesn't disappear into the recesses of my handbag or a hole in my coat pocket, never to be found again). It's attached to me whilst at work, I go home, it gets hung up with my mask as soon as I walk through the door, it gets picked up as the last thing as I walk back out of the door. It doesn't go anywhere else.

This is exactly what he would say! Rob, is that you!!

Well that's helpful mooncup

He is harassing you. You should report him.

However, stop bloody losing your passes!

I have a similar pass system and it’s not remotely like what you describe (and yes I have lost my pass before!).

I agree with making a formal complaint. It’s beyond ridiculous and harassment. An email to tell you that your pass is a visitor one and please come and swap it at a convenient time (if that is the case) is all that is needed. He sounds off his rocker, frankly.

@Vivbevorcath

This is exactly what he would say! Rob, is that you!!

Nah, I'm not in to haranguing people at work even if their little idiosyncrasies and inefficiencies do my head in and make me more work

I just got fed up of stumping up the money for replacement passes a long time ago and got myself organised (well, in things that can make me look shit at work at any rate) so I didn't look quite so much like a one woman disaster zone/windblown incompetent all the time.

Lost passes are a massive security risk. His reaction may seem extreme but given this is not a one off for your, I'm with him. I assume I earn significantly less than you do but my office handles high security information and if I lost my pass I'd hear about it. No, it wouldn't be a sacking offence but the pass would definitely be locked, and if I lost a second, that would be disciplinary time. Security is one of the most important aspects of a modern workplace.

I do think you need to address his behaviour. The bits that rise to bullying (entering your office, asking to look in your bag, sending mass emails). But you also need to address yours. If I lost that number of passes I'd get serious shit from my boss and it would look frankly incompetent.

Ironically, you don't get a pass because you're busy and important.

I think it comes across as disrespectful of the minions if the high up ones don't follow the rules. Some people are always going to be jealous and you are giving them an excuse to vent. You are capable of not losing passes. Lanyard and carabina are both good ideas. That aside, he has become obsessed with you and i would complain to HR .

Actually I can see both sides, he shouldn’t be harassing you but have you returned any found passes? Have you told him they are lost and paid/ for the company to pay for them? The health and safety thing is actually valid. We have to wear our passes when in the office and for your safety as much as anyone else’s.

I would be tempted to send an email to either admit you don’t have the lost passes or arrange returning them. Arrange the correct pass (and don’t lose it) then tell him he has no right to search your office for the passes without your permission.

Why is he going through your desk and computer at work?

Lock your computer when you’re away from it and lock away any important documents in your desk.

He shouldn’t be going through your desk and computer in your absence.

I would have complained about him a long time ago.

My place would go mad if I was losing passes like that. It's a big security issue.

@NeverDropYourMooncup

You could try not losing so many passes?

The people on less than twenty grand a year have to pay for replacements as well in most firms. Is there any reason apart from being a very important woman with children why you should be exempt from this?

You certainly shouldn't be using a visitor pass, as that would come up on the system as a random person - in the event of a fire or other major event, there's no indication that it's you - which also has implications for security in terms of who was in a building at the time of a theft/other crime. It's pretty reasonable that if somebody is using a visitor pass when they aren't a visitor that it is blocked when the user won't hand it in; he'd be in trouble if he didn't pursue that - especially if on occasion, you've used multiple pass cards.

And there is the other side; you've got this position, but you can't manage to even keep hold of your pass or know what pass you are actually using because you lose so many of the things. It makes you look like you're not really coping with the role.

In my bugger all money and really not that important job, I have my pass and key fob, plus lanyard and carabina (as I detest wearing the thing round my neck, the clips are less than secure and, frankly, a carabina means if I drop it, I hear it and it doesn't disappear into the recesses of my handbag or a hole in my coat pocket, never to be found again). It's attached to me whilst at work, I go home, it gets hung up with my mask as soon as I walk through the door, it gets picked up as the last thing as I walk back out of the door. It doesn't go anywhere else.

I actually agree with this. I work in a school and no one loses their lanyards as they are very careful with them. Everyone is very busy and many have children.

Stick a ring doorbell in your office you can see what he gets up to in there when you aren't in. He's a plain old bully who seems to think a stupid woman couldn't possibly be as important at work as you seem to be. Fight fire with fire. Keep a diary of his bullying and invasion of your privacy.

Someone senior needs to put him back in his box.

And you need to grow up and stop treating security passes as disposable.

I am actually surprised you posted this - aren't busy important people paid a lot extra because they have solutions to all sorts of things us mortals can't deal with?

Yes, losing passes so much is a bit annoying and irresponsible, but surely no one can believe that makes it OK for him to confront the OP in the canteen or raise his voice; email the whole office about it; follow her into the lift and say frankly threatening things; demand she empty her bag; interfere with her things in her office in her absence; remotely block her pass.
It's bullying and harassment. I'd write all these things up as you have here, and send it all to HR making clear that it must be stopped.

@Vivbevorcath

I work in an office of around 250 people in central London. I am in a senior position in finance, being a woman it has not been easy to get here over the last decade and i am performing well for the company and I am a good boss to my reports. So a valued employee and generally believed to have good behaviours (according to my 360 references and good end of year “behaviour” scoring .)

The office is open 24/7 because it is a busy industry, so working in lots of different time zones. It’s also quite an intense job where you burn out quickly. It’s hard to juggle with family life and most people can do it solidly for around 10 years and then need to take a break. I work 90 hour weeks, often work weekends, and have 3DC under 5. I often don’t sleep at night and I try to do my share of school drops and pick ups, so I feel like a headless chicken most of the time. The management team at my company acknowledge that I always go above and beyond, I win them plenty of business and I am a strong part of the revenue line which pays everyone’s salaries in our London office.

There is a man who is the site manager at the office who seems to have decided to make my office life a living hell. The reason is that I have lost several of my office passes to get into the building and have required new ones over the years. OR due to the fact I am always dashing about, I have unexpectedly had to go into the office and collect something and needed a temporary pass.

Over the last two years he has done and said the following which I find disrespectful to me and unkind:

• confronted me in the canteen, raising his voice and standing over me in front of 50 staff about me losing office passes and threatening to “lock me out of the building” if I do not return them
• sending constant emails to the whole office (250 people) telling them that I have lost passes.
• sent me bills to pay for new passes to be made
• followed me into the lift and said things like “I caught you. You were trying to get away from me but I caught up.”
• coming into my office and demanding I empty my bag and show him how many passes I have and which ones they are, while I am in a meeting
• my colleagues tell me he is constantly in and out of my office when I am not there moving things around and looking for things (I understand the office is not my property but if he goes in every day when I am not there, surely that is needless?) he then often sends me an email cc’d into the management saying that I have left a mess or I did not fill my bin properly or my plant is dying end needs watering or I am using an old version of windows that is not compatible with the system!!
• he has implied that he has access to all the security cameras and that he has seen me “up to no good” (I presume he means with the passes again!) he seems to think I have a visitor’s pass from long ago that I secretly use but honestly I have no idea - there is just a pass that I use (it is a plain white card… I don’t know if it’s a visitor’s or not)
• the final straw is I came in today to do someone a favour (some extra work for the CEO) and he has remotely blocked my pass! So I could not get in. The work was time sensitive, I was banging on the door, and had to beg the security at reception to let me in. I will now have to go to him and ask for another pass and be subjected again to all of this.

Anyway. I think I am done with this and might just explode at him. I know workplace safety is important but I think he has gone too far. AIBU?

Not to be a pickle, but with regards to the passes, and security , is their another way you could store your pass, so you don't misplace it ?

The other factors certainly seems odd and unprofessional behaviours, can improvements be made ?

@daimbarsatemydogsbone

Someone senior needs to put him back in his box.

And you need to grow up and stop treating security passes as disposable.

I am actually surprised you posted this - aren't busy important people paid a lot extra because they have solutions to all sorts of things us mortals can't deal with?

All of this. There will be lots of people there far busier and far more important (tongue in cheek) than you who don't lose their passes a notable number of times and therefore cause security issues.

followed me into the lift and said things like “I caught you. You were trying to get away from me but I caught up"

Do you mean you're getting into the building while someone else accesses the door with their pass? If so, that is a security issue. If not, what is he catching you at?

What age is this man and what age are you? I'm just curious.
Is he married?

i think you need to complain to HR about him.

Sounds like a mountain made out of a molehill due to a lack of understanding and respect both ways.

Look at it from his point of view he is responsible for the security of the building and the safety of those in it. He is probably as passionate about that as your are about your job. The fact you need to write two long paragraphs about your importance, is both irrelevant when it comes to security and says a lot about your over inflated ego.

If you adapt your behavior by not losing passes, stop acting dumb about using a visitor pass, and trying to make out the security arrangements of the building are there simply to make your much more important work/life difficult you are likely to get a better response from him. Work with him instead of against him to prove your importance. He doesn't give a shit who you are, he cares about what is paid to do, security.

Sounds like you are both in the wrong
Complain about his unprofessional bullying behaviour - he does need to step back
However your unprofessional behaviour at losing your security pass so many times is also an issue you need to address.
The key detail is that it's a security pass..... they fail to be effective from a security POV if you keep losing them and even if they are cancelled they cost time, money and effort to replace so unless you are paying for that someone else is picking up that tab for your carelessness.
Yes you are busy but so what so are lots of other people, and they take steps to avoid this problem, you need to do this and show your work how you are taking steps to address this alongside your complaint to ensure a line is drawn under his behaviour and there is no (however spurious) excuses for it.

When I say a lot of passes, I would say I lose one a year. But his behaviour is based on the fact that he thinks I am hiding a visitor’s pass as well as my own pass. I am not. I have occasionally borrowed visitor passes and given them back (to security) but he seems to have a theory that I am pulling the wool over his eyes or that I am getting one over on him when I am not.