building manager at work ruining my work life

[Vivbevorcath]

I work in an office of around 250 people in central London. I am in a senior position in finance, being a woman it has not been easy to get here over the last decade and i am performing well for the company and I am a good boss to my reports. So a valued employee and generally believed to have good behaviours (according to my 360 references and good end of year “behaviour” scoring .)

The office is open 24/7 because it is a busy industry, so working in lots of different time zones. It’s also quite an intense job where you burn out quickly. It’s hard to juggle with family life and most people can do it solidly for around 10 years and then need to take a break. I work 90 hour weeks, often work weekends, and have 3DC under 5. I often don’t sleep at night and I try to do my share of school drops and pick ups, so I feel like a headless chicken most of the time. The management team at my company acknowledge that I always go above and beyond, I win them plenty of business and I am a strong part of the revenue line which pays everyone’s salaries in our London office.

There is a man who is the site manager at the office who seems to have decided to make my office life a living hell. The reason is that I have lost several of my office passes to get into the building and have required new ones over the years. OR due to the fact I am always dashing about, I have unexpectedly had to go into the office and collect something and needed a temporary pass.

Over the last two years he has done and said the following which I find disrespectful to me and unkind:

• confronted me in the canteen, raising his voice and standing over me in front of 50 staff about me losing office passes and threatening to “lock me out of the building” if I do not return them
• sending constant emails to the whole office (250 people) telling them that I have lost passes.
• sent me bills to pay for new passes to be made
• followed me into the lift and said things like “I caught you. You were trying to get away from me but I caught up.”
• coming into my office and demanding I empty my bag and show him how many passes I have and which ones they are, while I am in a meeting
• my colleagues tell me he is constantly in and out of my office when I am not there moving things around and looking for things (I understand the office is not my property but if he goes in every day when I am not there, surely that is needless?) he then often sends me an email cc’d into the management saying that I have left a mess or I did not fill my bin properly or my plant is dying end needs watering or I am using an old version of windows that is not compatible with the system!!
• he has implied that he has access to all the security cameras and that he has seen me “up to no good” (I presume he means with the passes again!) he seems to think I have a visitor’s pass from long ago that I secretly use but honestly I have no idea - there is just a pass that I use (it is a plain white card… I don’t know if it’s a visitor’s or not)
• the final straw is I came in today to do someone a favour (some extra work for the CEO) and he has remotely blocked my pass! So I could not get in. The work was time sensitive, I was banging on the door, and had to beg the security at reception to let me in. I will now have to go to him and ask for another pass and be subjected again to all of this.

Anyway. I think I am done with this and might just explode at him. I know workplace safety is important but I think he has gone too far. AIBU?

Your personal life has nothing to do with him, so don't throw that in
Take responsibility for yourself. He is trying to do his job and keep security tight
You have raised some red flags and he is checking up.
If you have a genuine grievance take it up with HR.

90 hours tho? Gosh you must be REALLY important. Your poor kids

It doesn't excuse his bullying behaviour, which you should report, but losing so many passes?
They can be disabled - but someone could still have your ID indicating they're a representative of the company. TBH if he thinks there is a rogue visitor pass being used, |'m not sure why he hasn't just disabled it.

(or was that the one you said he cancelled unexpectedly?)

This is harassment.

What the hell are you thinking - RAISE A GRIEVANCE!!

@headintheproverbial

This is harassment.

What the hell are you thinking - RAISE A GRIEVANCE!!

Good, then I hope he raises a grievance about how lapse she is about keeping her security passes safe There are always two sides to a story...

OP lots of good advice above re: bullying and how to tackle. YY to keeping how busy/senior you are out of the discussion with managers about this person’s behaviour towards you.

Can I recommend something practical to help. I was forever losing things in ramming them in my work bag or jacket while dashing about to get to young DC. I lost season tickets, passes and car keys.

I bought I bag organiser which moves between bags. Lots of nice ones around, but cheep as chips version is here Periea Handbag Organiser - Chelsy - (Black, Medium) www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00GWOQ5I4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_N5JAJM8VD6F1EXYF2SHJ?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Simple solution; pass goes into a specific place in the bag insert. The bag insert goes wherever you go.

Take it up with HR and make a complaint. Checking your office,your computer,following you around etc it's harassment and not healthy. You have every right to complain. He should be dealing with this the right way (whatever is in the company's policy) not make it his life's mission to find the Holy Grail or visitor pass.

However , even if he gets disciplined for it, you still have an issue with losing passes. Even if he gets replaced by someone else then soon enough this will start again. So just get your pass sorted and look after it.

He sounds like a bit of a nightmare but tbh so do you, losing passes, dashing in and out and working 90hr weeks is that even physically possible

Maybe reduce your workload/hours, slow down and take more care of your passes....

You have lost one a year. A lot. Careless. But not worthy of the Building Manager's irritation.

How many times a year/week/month do you forget your pass?

And seriously, sort it out. Firstly how to keep hold of your pass. As you leave the office it goes straight in X pocket of your handbag. Or if you change handbags have a moveable pouch - it goes in there. Put one iota of effort into remembering your pass Every.Single.Day and firstly you will not have to faff around getting in the office once a week year. Secondly you will be respecting the security of your company. And building manager leaves you alone.

(Maybe also log the actions of the building manager with HR, so if he does continue on at you - when you are not forgetting passes - then escalate then).

Bit of a weird post. It's hard to imagine how you are working 90hrs a week.

I think the OP is Andrew Bailey

OP,
Go to HR but I think this needs reporting to the police.

Bullying AND harassment.

I would view his behaviour as threatening.

Ring 101 and ask their advice.

Do it BEFORE you go to HR so you can tell them that you have contacted the police.

Believe me they will take it very seriously.

Really the passes are a red herring. Why doesn't the company have a mechanism for this guy to complain about you if it's such a big deal? He should be sacked for coming into your office when you're not there and why are your colleagues letting him?

If this is indeed real and all is as you say it is, you need to put on your big financier pants and deal with it yourself. I don't think it will do your reputation any good to take this to management. You need to find a way to talk to this man which is not you being over solicitous but using diplomacy to end the war. I suggest you arrange a meeting with him to say this has to stop. You can show him what you're doing about the situation (eg have bought a lanyard, whatever) and then list the things that if he does again you will blast him into outer space for. 1. No talking to you in meetings 2. No following you 3. No going in your office without you there 4. No blocking your pass.

You need to find your comfortable, high powered stridy around self for this, not your cowering victim or stroppy defensive ones. Think BJ rather than Nadine. This is something you can do yourself and need to not have on your informal record.

'You need to find your comfortable, high powered stridy around self for this, not your cowering victim or stroppy defensive ones. Think BJ rather than Nadine.'

Good shout. If he comes looking for you again, think 'WWBJD'? and head for the nearest fridge 🙄

To be clear: I fucking hate BJ. I just don't think he'd think twice about the guy chasing him for losing his security pass.

90 hours per week and you still manage to do school runs? You sound like superwoman, OP!

Yes this man's behaviour is unacceptable and should be reported.

However you need to reflect on your own behaviour as well. How many passes have you lost and how? Are you dropping them or what? Is your current card a card assigned to you or are you using a visitors pass? You seem to becoming across as quite arrogant, you are doing important work but have no respect or place any value on his.

You have created a security risk at your work in a 24/7 office, unless each time you have lost it you have reported and had it deactivated, which you admit you don't, you create a safety risk to the whole building.
His behaviour to deal with yours is wrong and both of you need to be disciplined.
Depending on your industry, repeated security violations can be gross misconduct.
The hours you work and what children you have are irrelevant.

The problem with unchecked bullying is that little by little people start siding with the bully. I mean, look at the number of people on this thread saying you brought it on yourself. And a lot of people have a problem with women in leadership roles.

The lost passes are probably a sign of burn-out. It's an issue for your bosses, no one else.

Your position in the company is relevant here. If you're senior, your role is more public. It's great that you have a good relationship with the people you supervise, but sooner or later you'll likely have to make an unpopular decision and in this environment, how is that going to play out?!

Have you ever read the Glass Cliff? As a woman in a senior position, you need to make sure your have the support of the higher-ups.

All that to say definitely report, but know that if the leadership has been watching this happen for so long, they'll need to get a forceful message now. They need to understand that they risk losing you.

@SweetPetrichor

Lost passes are a massive security risk. His reaction may seem extreme but given this is not a one off for your, I'm with him. I assume I earn significantly less than you do but my office handles high security information and if I lost my pass I'd hear about it. No, it wouldn't be a sacking offence but the pass would definitely be locked, and if I lost a second, that would be disciplinary time. Security is one of the most important aspects of a modern workplace.

This. He's going about it the wrong way, but with your track record you'd have been fired long ago in my line of work. Far too casual about losing access to sensitive information would lose you your job unfortunately. Do you lose your keys to your car this often? I doubt it...

Also you work in finance. Using an outdated version of Windows leaves your company susceptible to hackers, malware getting in etc. So he has a reason to be annoyed by that, you could lose a shit ton of data by not doing that. I'm surprised your security teams haven't picked up on that and bugged you about it.

Like I say though, he is going about this the wrong way. But I see a lot of things you're doing so wrong, borrowing passes is another one. No one thinks of these things as bad, but they are and when standards slip, that's when things go wrong. Just ask sepa..

You are ruining your own working life by behaving like you are too important and busy to follow the rules and procedures that apply to everyone in the building, making his working life harder. Maybe he's being inappropriate, maybe you are an absolute nightmare to deal with a have been treating him badly, but you wouldn't acknowledge that, because you are so high value they should accommodate your unprofessional behaviour.

He is bullying you & he should not be entering your office or fiddling with your computer , that should be passworded, surely, for data protection ? But I did maternity cover contracts for years in Canary Wharf. Usually after you lose one pass, the next time it's £5. Even my niece's college charges £5 for new passes. Keep it on the lanyard & threaded round your work bag strap.

What you should do is (instead of running and hiding from him) take 10 minutes out of your busy day and actually go and speak to him to find out exactly what the problem is and which pass you should be using. Surely that's the way to sort this.

@BrioNotBiro

My place would go mad if I was losing passes like that. It's a big security issue.

It's a written warning offence to lose one pass at mine.