building manager at work ruining my work life

[Vivbevorcath]

I work in an office of around 250 people in central London. I am in a senior position in finance, being a woman it has not been easy to get here over the last decade and i am performing well for the company and I am a good boss to my reports. So a valued employee and generally believed to have good behaviours (according to my 360 references and good end of year “behaviour” scoring .)

The office is open 24/7 because it is a busy industry, so working in lots of different time zones. It’s also quite an intense job where you burn out quickly. It’s hard to juggle with family life and most people can do it solidly for around 10 years and then need to take a break. I work 90 hour weeks, often work weekends, and have 3DC under 5. I often don’t sleep at night and I try to do my share of school drops and pick ups, so I feel like a headless chicken most of the time. The management team at my company acknowledge that I always go above and beyond, I win them plenty of business and I am a strong part of the revenue line which pays everyone’s salaries in our London office.

There is a man who is the site manager at the office who seems to have decided to make my office life a living hell. The reason is that I have lost several of my office passes to get into the building and have required new ones over the years. OR due to the fact I am always dashing about, I have unexpectedly had to go into the office and collect something and needed a temporary pass.

Over the last two years he has done and said the following which I find disrespectful to me and unkind:

• confronted me in the canteen, raising his voice and standing over me in front of 50 staff about me losing office passes and threatening to “lock me out of the building” if I do not return them
• sending constant emails to the whole office (250 people) telling them that I have lost passes.
• sent me bills to pay for new passes to be made
• followed me into the lift and said things like “I caught you. You were trying to get away from me but I caught up.”
• coming into my office and demanding I empty my bag and show him how many passes I have and which ones they are, while I am in a meeting
• my colleagues tell me he is constantly in and out of my office when I am not there moving things around and looking for things (I understand the office is not my property but if he goes in every day when I am not there, surely that is needless?) he then often sends me an email cc’d into the management saying that I have left a mess or I did not fill my bin properly or my plant is dying end needs watering or I am using an old version of windows that is not compatible with the system!!
• he has implied that he has access to all the security cameras and that he has seen me “up to no good” (I presume he means with the passes again!) he seems to think I have a visitor’s pass from long ago that I secretly use but honestly I have no idea - there is just a pass that I use (it is a plain white card… I don’t know if it’s a visitor’s or not)
• the final straw is I came in today to do someone a favour (some extra work for the CEO) and he has remotely blocked my pass! So I could not get in. The work was time sensitive, I was banging on the door, and had to beg the security at reception to let me in. I will now have to go to him and ask for another pass and be subjected again to all of this.

Anyway. I think I am done with this and might just explode at him. I know workplace safety is important but I think he has gone too far. AIBU?

Take all your documented evidence straight to HR and make a formal complaint.

I don't want to victim blame, I mean this kindly...but why are you putting up with this?!

Bullying usually happens when one person has power over another. But it sounds like you have so much power as such a good earner for your company and this guy is an easily replaceable security person.

I suspect an email from you to the CEO explaining you were delayed in doing your urgent work for them due to this person would be enough for action to be taken.

You’re doing 90 hour weeks in a high pressured job with 2 small children - of course you’re going to lose your pass from time to time, as well as other things no doubt.
When I worked in client facing professional services working round the clock I’d lose my pass once a year (as in lost at home in a coat or bag) or forget it at least once a month. It happens and is not uncommon when you are on the go with a million things to remember all of the time.
If you have a 50 hour a week job then fair enough, it is unprofessional but at your level it’s a different situation and allowances should be made.

He is a bully and you should wipe the floor with him.

Is there a reason why he can't deactivate any passes that have been signed out to you, and issue you a new one - and only that one gets you into the building?
That would remove some of the security risk issue.

Assuming the front desk is manned 24/7 if the building is occupied, can you not get a temporary pass if you turn up without one, that you drop back on your way out.

While I think his reaction is way OTT - you have to accept that you have decided that this is a non issue and not worth your headspace and by doing that you are actually creating a shit ton of work and issues for someone else. If you thought this was important you would have put a system in place to make sure you didn't forget.

If you are that important, it can't be that hard not to shit on the "little people" as you seem to consider him.

He’s out of line for sure but to be honest you come across as “I’m far to busy and we’ll respected to have to worry about losing my pass on a regular basis”
Sounds like you’ve rubbed him up the wrong way and he’s now taking it too far.
I think you did need to formally address his behaviour but you also need to acknowledge you have been careless with your passes and that it won’t be happening again

He sounds like a knob. Presumably you're much higher than he is rank wise. I would be warning him that he's being unprofessional and you'll speak with his manager if he keeps harassing you about the passes.

On another note... 90hours a week is totally crazy, especially with little ones around. It's unsustainable and unhealthy. I would reconsider if you can. You deserve a decent job but there's loads more out there that pay well and don't require those hours. The key to happiness, I think, is balance and I can't imagine your life is very balanced at the moment x

@NoLongerTroels

Stick a ring doorbell in your office you can see what he gets up to in there when you aren't in. He's a plain old bully who seems to think a stupid woman couldn't possibly be as important at work as you seem to be. Fight fire with fire. Keep a diary of his bullying and invasion of your privacy.

'So, Rob, glad that everybody got out safely when that terrorist/random loon/political protest/fire/whatever happened. Now, it appears that they have been able to gain entry in preparation for that event using assorted passes, most registered to Vivbethorcath. The police are obviously on their way over to her house to search for any evidence of involvement, but we are extremely concerned about the failure to ensure security procedures are followed'

'The Fire Service have made a formal complaint that they were put at danger searching the building for an unidentified visitor when it turns out that it was Vivbethorcath who was safely at the evacuation point all the time.'

'It's a real shame about Vivbethorcath. If only they had known she was in the building at the time, they would have known to go straight to her office. This is a serious and potentially highly expensive mistake due to your not following the risk assessment rules for building security and logging of all personnel in the building'.

'There was a burglary/theft/serious data incident/assault of a member of staff at the weekend. Who was in the building at the time?'

I think I am more concerned that you are doing 9.00 til midnight 6 days a week, I think you need to talk to HR about that as well.

This is bullying and harassment - you need to note down everything that has happened to date (be as specific as you can with dates etc but don't worry if you can't remember dates a list will do) and contact HR with this info and your concerns. Then keep a log of everything he does/says going forward (with dates/times/locations/witnesses).

I know this is not helpful but I worked for a large company for 16.5 years and never once lost my pass :-) But this is outright bullying and harassment, what a horrible manager! Can you talk to your manager about him?

To be honest, I bet a great many of your less important colleagues are having a great laugh watching this running battle between the boss and the building manager. You may well find that someone is running a book on the outcome.

At my place, if you lose your security pass, it is a disciplinary issue.

I am in a senior position in finance, being a woman it has not been easy to get here.

This is the 21st century, I hate to break it to you but there are lots of senior women in finance. There was in the latter partof the last century too, I have been in finance for thirty years and know this. Anyway I mention it, because I wonder if you have a bit of an attitude, perhaps you think you are something a bit special and keeping your pass secure is not something you think you should have to do like everyone else.

Maybe this man has got a bee in his bonnet about you and perhaps he doesn’t like you, but he has a job to do too, keeping the building safe and you don’t seem to care about that much. I suspect you are exaggerating his actions, I suspect that both of you are being unreasonable but you are far from blameless in this.

Do you actually work 90 hours a week? That's 18 hours a day given you said you don't always work at the weekend! Plus commuting you're sleeping what, 4 hours a night?

He should not be going through your office. He should not be following you. How does he know what computer system you are using? Does your company allow the building manager to access company computers? You need to speak to your company management.

Having lost and temporary passes deactivated is a pretty standard security procedure. You shouldn’t have more than one viable pass and if you are issued a temporary pass it really shouldn’t work for more than a day until you would be expected to have located your original.

He is out of order storming into meetings, demanding you empty your bag, berating you in front of other employees.

BUT.

You are a security risk. You work in an environment where there must be sensitive information. If a competitor used one of your many lost passes to get in, who's going to be the first person to get it in neck for not keeping track of passes? This man.

Go to HR and ask them to get him to back off, but be prepared for them to side with him on the issue of your attitude to your passes, because it does come across like you don't think it's a big deal, when you are stopping him doing his job effectively.

I'm suspicious that this is real. How could someone with 3 children under 5 work 90 hour weeks and still fit in school pick ups?

TBH your attitude regarding the passes isn’t great. You need to take security more seriously and follow the same rules as everyone else. But this security guy sounds awful. Some of his actions are way out of bounds.

Two questions: do you think there is a sexist aspect to his bullying? Is there a down side to raising a complaint? (Assuming you have an evidence log)

Absolutely 100% raise a harassment case with HR.
This is bullying behaviour.

Why won’t you just get a lanyard?

Complain and get HR involved.

This happened in my work place, the facilities manager absolutely bollocked someone senior in front of everyone for something similar and got a written warning as a result

Must admit, I laughed at this

followed me into the lift and said things like “I caught you. You were trying to get away from me but I caught up.”

Honestly, OP, get a lanyard! Mine stays hidden in my car and goes on as I get out of the car.

However, his behaviour is bonkers, interrupting meetings, demanding you empty your bag-I hope you told him to get lost! I would definitely speak to HR about his OTT remonstrating with you.

I agree with @NeverDropYourMooncup . Just because you're this super high flyer doesn't mean you can disrespect the "little people" with their "unimportant roles" of managing the building. I have been a partner at a number of law firms in the City and I still managed to comply with office safety and be nice and respectful to all admin staff. I also have a kid and am a single parent, but that's no reason to constantly lose an office pass, which is a massive security issue, especially when you're dealing with confidential client documents. And please take 5 minutes to actually check which pass you are using anf whether it's a visitors' pass, which you should not be using.

Whys he constantly chasing you if it only 1 pass a year? Still not good the losing of them!