Whilst the whole thing sounds totally nuts, something did hit home with me a little.
I've worked in the past with trauma victims, so many of who suffered from severe anxiety. I'm tallking proper anxiety, not the just feeling out of their comfort zone anxiety, but the sort that really affects someone physically even, and they can't rationalise their feelings properly. And do things, which in hindsight, after the event are totally crazy and over the top.
I'm obvioulsy guessing here, but basing it on whats actually gone on.
It seems B had a real shit relationship before, one she didn't or couldn't extract herself from easily, (hence the overlap?)where she was treated like shit? and its had a profound impact on her mental state going forward. And on her being able to trust.
She obviously was so anxious she literally invited herself to the stag to the point it got completely out of hand. The guys were then mocking her on the whatsapp chat. That to me does not sound like nice guys, sorry. I get they were pissed off, but surely at this point someone would be thinking - this isn't normal, theres something going on with her far bigger than just wanting to be nearby for the baby. Probably her reason for never wanting to see any of them again, as it would have fuelled her anxiety even more.
On top of this, now G has told his mates he wants to break up with her (have we any idea B knows this, as it seems she perhaps dosen't).
Whilst it isn't G's job to repair her mental damage from past trauma, I'd of thought the fact he is secretly planning to leave her and telling his mates this behind her back is going to shatter this young woman even further.
One young woman I worked with who sounds very similar to B in the things she has done, was incredibly affected by trauma caused by someone she had in her mind, in a position of trust and who she trusted. (Think the worst thing anyone can do to you physically that you thought would never do something like that) It shattered her world. her new BF who absolutely loved her to bits, knew of this and attended some sessions because he loved her and really wanted her to feel safe with him. He was a really lovely guy and living with her couldn't have been easy at times. One thing he said which has always stuck with me is that If he needs to tell her 100 times a day he loves her, then that is what he will do and he doesn't mind. if he needs to tell her everything he does to make her feel safer, then that is what he will do because he loves her and she is the most important thing to him. He doesn't consider it needy or clingy or stupid. Its just something she needs and something he will happily provide if it helps her. It costs him nothing.
I'm not saying B is the same, but this behaviour we have all agreed isn't normal or healthy.
I do wonder why none of the bridesmaids thought to reach out to her, even a little, and try and find out the issue and possibly help in reassuring her. Instead it seemed like everyone just took the piss a bit and called her mental.
she could of course just be compltely and utterly batshit, but I think if that was the case it would've come to light very early on, for everyone who knew her. Trauma is easy for a person to hide, a bit like depression can be hidden, until something triggers it that then escalates a situation sometimes to the extreme.
I hope if G is really planning to leave her, he lets her know this soon. Being talked about behind their back, not knowing whats going on, is one of the biggest fears of people who have suffered trauma from physical or emotional betrayal. And it does not sound like G is perhaps strong enough to help this woman at this stage in their life. It would be kinder if he left, rather than deceive.
Might also be kinder for anyone going on the hen do to bear this in mind that she could actually be suffering mentally because of something in her past which she is struggling to control, as opposed to purposely wrecking the stag do.
Of course its no ones responsibility and shouldn't excuse horrible behaviour, but perhaps just taking a step back and thinking, maybe theres something bigger going on with her, maybe I can make this a bit more managble by just being nice and attempting to understand. Often makes much more of a difference than people realise.