To be driven nuts by these shopping habits?

[pumpkinsquish1]

This is very much something I think my grandparents have passed on and it's slowly pushing me over the edge. My DM is ok financially but refuses to pay more money than she absolutely has to for anything.

She likes to get different things from different supermarkets. She doesn't drive and she spends her weekend going between Sainsbury's, Aldi, Asda, M & S and Tesco to do her full shop. This involves many bus trips.

I will happy take her by car to do her shopping but I can't cope with the multiple shops. She wanted a specific bar of chocolate and in Asda it was £1.50 and she refused to get it as 'its only £1 in Tesco'. She would rather check out, drive to Tesco (or get the bus if she was by herself) and go into another supermarket on the off chance they had it, to save 50p.

I'm finding it harder as she gets older to let her keep going out herself with her trolley bag. I get her an online delivery for heavier items but she seems to sort of revel in this hunter/gatherer role. During the pandemic when you were meant to limit outings she was constantly roaming different supermarkets and wasn't going to let a pandemic get in the way of 'I prefer Aldi brand of XYZ'.

Is this an age thing? Should I be more accommodating? She expects me to do it to and when she's rummaging in our fridge (!) tells me I've overspent by £2 by getting whatever from this one shop instead of shopping around.

Leave her to it; you don’t need to take her

If she wants you to take her then say fine mum but I’m only going to Tesco (or wherever) and just take her to one shop then home

Are you my sister? You’ve described my mum to a T! Plus she constantly tells me where she’s brought things and how much they were,

DH had this idea once. He decided the market was cheaper.

One Saturday I gave him the list and off he popped. He then went to Tesco, Aldi etc as various things were cheaper there too. He was out most of the day.
The following week I nipped to Tesco, got everything I needed, spent probably a fiver more and was out an hour.

It was an exercise he didn't repeat.

Does she pay for the bus? Or has she got a bus pass?
If she's capable and happy I would let her crack on.

My nana used to stand and work out the proce per kilo or unit of everything she was buying, it used to drive my mum mad. (My mum is very much a supermarket sweep kind of shopper)

This would drive me nuts too. The whole point of a supermarket is to make the act of grocery shopping easier so people don’t have to leap from shop to shop. We get the majority of ours from Aldi because it’s so much cheaper than everywhere but do have to get the odd thing from Tesco or Morrisons. I hate doing the food shop at the best of times so there’s no way I could be arsed going to multiple shops, it must take her hours.

@Nutrigrainygoodness

Does she pay for the bus? Or has she got a bus pass? If she's capable and happy I would let her crack on.

My nana used to stand and work out the proce per kilo or unit of everything she was buying, it used to drive my mum mad. (My mum is very much a supermarket sweep kind of shopper)

She has a pass. She's capable but the service where she lives isn't regular and I feel bad when its winter and she's out in all weathers.

@MrPenguinsPoppers

DH had this idea once. He decided the market was cheaper.

One Saturday I gave him the list and off he popped. He then went to Tesco, Aldi etc as various things were cheaper there too. He was out most of the day.
The following week I nipped to Tesco, got everything I needed, spent probably a fiver more and was out an hour.

It was an exercise he didn't repeat.

Yep, it's the fiver more that's the kicker though! She'd rather save the fiver and spend the whole day traipsing round shops.

I’d say it’s an age thing, it also gives her a ‘job’.
Let it go over your head.

Perhaps it gives her a purpose

MIL is a bit like this, always at the shops

If she wants to do that and the bus doesn't cost anything, let her. She probably saves money by not having to heat her house while she's on the bus.

But if you're driving her, what you should get her to do is go to Tesco one week and Asda the next etc etc, and just get two weeks worth of the things she likes or are cheaper from each shop.

Then she gets to save money and go to the different shops, but it doesn't take so much time.

Well she can crack on as long as you’re not expected to take her! She probably enjoys it/ gives her a sense of achievement. Once you’re past the point in life where your life it a mad dash of juggling kids, work and busy household, you probably have time for this. Think of it as her hobby!

It sound patronising the way I’ve put it but I don’t mean it that way. I mean, why shouldn’t people shop the way they enjoy if they don’t put others out?

Tell her to buy the item at the higher cost at the first shop you are in or else you want petrol money for ferrying her around to others.

Her saving is costing YOU!

If its keeping her independently active, giving her something to do........ Id let her get on with it. Far better than sitting in front of the tv all day.

Something for her to do and think about.

Does she have anything better to be doing with her time? It seems harmless and (pandemics aside) it's probably better for her health than watching day time TV.

An hour to you sounds like an hour you don’t have, and needs to be clawed back wherever possible. I’m the same.

Whereas if you’re retired etc it could be an enjoyable hour spent pottering about the shops.

Don't let it concern you. You can't stop her and it's something she wants to do so leave her to it.

@CharacterForming

Does she have anything better to be doing with her time? It seems harmless and (pandemics aside) it's probably better for her health than watching day time TV.

She still works FT!

That's part of my issue. She's going to the shops after work and all weekend and in all weathers.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

An hour to you sounds like an hour you don’t have, and needs to be clawed back wherever possible. I’m the same.

Whereas if you’re retired etc it could be an enjoyable hour spent pottering about the shops.

She's still working full time!

My dad was like that. In the end I'd give him my shopping list and he'd do my shopping too! As others have said - it gave him a purpose.

Yep, it's the fiver more that's the kicker though! She'd rather save the fiver and spend the whole day traipsing round shops

MIL is similar so I do sympathise. She'll catch the bus because of her free bus pass. It takes most if the day because of how the buses run. She has a car, the town has a free car park. But she wont pay the petrol choosing to spend hours doing it the hard way. Baffles me.

Leave her to it, sounds like she likes doing it this way.

Omg I though you were talking about an elderly woman who could barely walk let alone push a shopping trolley!! Seriously,don't concern yourself with how she chooses to shop!

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

Well she can crack on as long as you’re not expected to take her! She probably enjoys it/ gives her a sense of achievement. Once you’re past the point in life where your life it a mad dash of juggling kids, work and busy household, you probably have time for this. Think of it as her hobby!

It sound patronising the way I’ve put it but I don’t mean it that way. I mean, why shouldn’t people shop the way they enjoy if they don’t put others out?

I offer to take her because I feel guilty thinking of her going out in all weathers in the winter and an irregular bus service.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Omg I though you were talking about an elderly woman who could barely walk let alone push a shopping trolley!! Seriously,don't concern yourself with how she chooses to shop!

She's 68 so technically she is elderly.